Jokes!

[hiyasucka]

whats 5+7+35


a threesome with mj


when is it bedtime at neverland ranch?



when the big hand touches the little hand



y did dairy queen get pregnant?



because burger king forgot to wrap his whopper


blond brunette and brunettes bf are walking in the woods when bf says "look a dead bird" brunette looks down blond looks up

how do u kill a blond?


put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

how many UNC fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

all of them, 1 to do it and the rest to brag about it

is it ok if i tell a couple racist jokes?

[british_bmx2005]

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."

The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

[british_bmx2005]

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

[TheEvilHobo]

I got one guys.. why did the chicken croos the road?

to get the hell away from this gay strand!!

[QreepyBORIS]

Strand?

You mean...thread? Wow.

[TheEvilHobo]

boris its another name you idiot. it means the same thing

[birtybirty27]

um... thats not funny

[Tps222]

I doubt strand and thread mean the same thing for internet purposes. Personally, I am not offended by racial jokes, that's just my opinion.

Dirty Joke:

Q:3 gay guys walk into a bar, and there is only 1 stool. How do they all sit down?
===================================================

A: They turn the stool upside down.

[TheEvilHobo]

F*** you all!!!
strand = thread
thread = strand

[jewpinthethird]

F*** you all!!!
strand = thread
thread = strand

Maybe, but I dont believe you. So me some evidence.

Okay, here's a joke.

What do you call TheEvilHobo?

Banned.

LOL.

[Tps222]

You so funny Jewpin.

Knock Knock
Who's There
FBI
Oh

[TheEvilHobo]

...

[TheEvilHobo]

heres another one for ya...

why did the chicken cross the road??

because he felt like it

[british_bmx2005]

Massively Kewl Knock Knock Jokes!!!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Sorry, wrong door.
Okay.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Federal Express
Federal Express who?
I don’t know. I just deliver packages.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tom Buchanan.
Hi Tom.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Pizza delivery guy.
Pizza delivery guy who?
You ordered a pizza?
Yes.
I’m the guy delivering it.
Great.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Susan.
Susan who?
Susan Caldwell.
I’ll be right out, Susan.

Knock, knock
Who’s there.
You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable.
You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable who?
I thought this was a redneck joke.
Nope. It’s a knock, knock joke.
Oops.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who
Don’t get so upset, crybaby!
What?
Ha! Ha! I made you say “boo-hoo”
You’re a real idiot.
That wasn’t necessary.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Creeping penis.
Creeping penis who?
I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!

Knock, knock
Yo mama
Yo mama who?
Yo mama so fat, she caught a flesh-eating virus and that was three years ago.
I bet you’re fat, huh?
I’m…
You are, aren’t you? Fat!
I’m plumpish.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
FBI!
…
…
Hello? FBI! Let us in!
…
…nobody here…
Oh. Let’s go boys!
(Phew!)

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
There’s a dead old woman in your driveway.
There’s a dead old woman in your driveway who?
No. Seriously. There’s a dead old woman in your driveway.
Actually, that’s just my piss-drunk bar slut of a grandmother. She sells toothless mouth love for “mind eraser” shooters at the Tyson’s Mall TGIFriday’s. Let the whore sleep it off.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Henry.
Henry who?
Henry Kissinger. Did you know that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac?
I’m not opening the door Henry.
Damn.

Knock, knock
Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH!
Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH who?
Actually, I’m here for Jones in #D1 but I need to take a monster crap and I hate to kill and THEN use the bathroom, you know? Its rude and the other way around, well it ruins my dramatic entrance. So…
You want to use my toilet?
Yeah?
Go right ahead.
Got anything to read?
Just the crossword.
You finished it.
Sorry?
Hold my scythe.
Hey! Don’t forget to light a match.

[Verruckter]

Those sucked.