Jokes!

[myk0nstantine]

joke

Wanna hear a clean joke?
I took a bath with bubbles.





Wanna hear a dirty joke?
Bubbles is the girl next door.

(brother told me that one)

[Tonberry_Kid]

RE: joke

XD. That's funny.

[rockinwithkiss]

RE: joke

Lets see...my grandpa told me this joke one time...how sad...its from him...but ya...

Polish-Americans offended by the viciousness of the jokes told about them are quick to remind friends of the bravery of the Polish people during World War II.
The Poles are reputed to have barehandedly thrown sticks of dynamite into the hordes of attacking German soldiers.
The Nazis then caught the sticks of dynamite, lit them, and threw them back.

[MalReynolds]

RE: joke

A priest, a nun and a rabbi walked into a bar.

A few hours later, they left with a mutual understanding of each other, and friendships that would last a lifetime.

-

I like to drink red wine... A friend of mine asked, "Doesn't it give you a headache?" Yeah... Eventually. The first part and the middle part are pretty good. I'm not gonna stop doing something cause the end result is bad... "Hey, Mitch, want an apple?" "NO! I bet it'll be a core."

I went to the store and bought eight apples. The guy at the counter asked me if I wanted a bag... I said, "No, I juggle. But only eight. If I ever buy nine, fuck it! Bag em' up!"

-

I tried to make homemade Sprite one time. It's a lemon lime soda... But there's more to it than that. "Hey, want a glass of my homemade Sprite?" "NOT TILL YOU FIGURE OUT THE REST OF THE INGREDIENTS!"

(The last two were Mitch Hedberg)

Mal

[stlunatic0124]

what's the best thing about having sex with a 12 year old girl in the shower?

you can slick her hair back and make her look 9.

[Tonberry_Kid]

That's just wrong dude. Wrong sick and disturbing, but funny all at the same time XD.

[Linkisdoomed]

Here is a good one:

A man walks into a bar and sits down to have a drink with his pet monkey. The monkey wanders off and shoves a cucumber slice down his throat. The amazed bartender says, "Did you just see what your monkey did?" and the man replies, "You don't have to tell me."
A few minutes later, the monkey shoves a cueball from the pooltable down his throat. The bartender is mad at this point so the man says, "I'll leave for the night. I'll pay for the damage as well." The man gets up and leaves.

The next night, he comes back tho the bar then orders a drink. The monkey does his routine only this time, he shoves the stuff up his ass first then eats it. The bartender asked the man why his pet monkey does this, and the man responded, "He decided to start measuring things before he eats them."

-Mr. 1up-

[Tonberry_Kid]

Lol. That's great stuff right there. I would say this one joke of mine but it's kind of nasty and dirty, so I'll tell it if I get bombarded with pleas for it.

[Telvanni_guard]

If anyone gets offended, edit it to be a different joke.

[Tps222]

What do you call a blind deer?
----------------------------------
a no idear
----------------------------------
What do you call a blind legless deer?
----------------------------------
Still no idear

[Tonberry_Kid]

XD. Ok.

Three men are stranded in a desert. Without water for three days they realized they would do almost anything for some. While searching for it, they see this huge mansion. They run towards it. One of the men walks to the door and rings the bell. This huge, fat woman answers the door. "May we have some water, Miss?" She replies, "Only if you have sex with me." "Screw that!" said the first guy. The next man does the same exact thing and the same response from the woman. The third guy goes to the door, rings the bell, and the fat woman comes to answer it. "May we have water please?" says the third man. "Only if you have sex with me," she replies. "Ok, I guess I'm going to have to take one for the team."
They go into her mansion and she takes him to her room. While she is getting ready, he is laying in bed naked looking around. He notices this humogous barrel of corn. He grabs an ear of it and hides it. She comes out of the bathroom and gets on top of him. He takes out the corn, and starts using it as a phallus. Once it got all soggy, he chucked out the window and quickly grabbed another piece and kept at it. After using about 10 ears, she has her orgasm. She gives him about 4 buckets of water and thanks him for the excellent sex. He runs to his friends shouting, "I got us water!" The other to men reply, "Fuck that, we got ourselves buttered corn!"
Gross, huh?

[MalReynolds]

Am I the only person that went to public high-school? I've heard all of these... Except for that pedophiliac one above, which I don't think belongs here at all.

It's like a mouse in a cat-factory.

And by cat-factory, I mean cat-ovaries.

Mal

[Quizkid23]

Oh oh! I got another joke!





Women's rights.

[pntballa18]

OoOoOoOoOoOoO!!!

[ananana]

Women's rights.

Yesssssss. It never gets old.