coming out

[Xiz]

Re: coming out

It would be cool to be bi. Then you get both sides of the world, and perhaps laid twice as often. Lucky jerks.


Wtf Xiz shut up.

[25thhour]

Re: coming out

Shit happens, sometimes it happens to be on your dick.

But, in all seriousness, Telling your family makes it a WORLD better, (Coming from personal experience) My mom tried to disown me at first but in time she opened up to it. :P

[UserNameGoesHere]

Re: coming out

I'm in the camp that you should be really careful about it. Or, evaluate the worst possible outcome and see if you could live with that firstly, before making your decision, because don't just hope or assume everything will be roses in the end and base your decision off a false hope. There are many very unsupportive people out there and it's very possible to be in for a world of hurt.

It would be nice if people could just tell people these things and everyone be cool with it, but there is (and probably will be for the duration of your lifetime) quite some hate out there.

Also, younger people are easier and safer to reach out to than older people, especially if those older people come from a strong strict religious background. So you'll just have to evaluate your own personal situation and see if the rewards are worth the risks, in your case.

It's possible to change some people's minds, but the older they are and the more religious they are, the less and less possible this becomes.

I was raised very religiously and to hate gays, but some very awesome college friends helped me to overcome that. Then again I was young enough and open minded enough I was still willing to listen to people's views and re-evaluate my own ideas. With an older religious person, this change of mindset may not be possible.

Speaking of religion, I now pretty much view it as man-made, the stories inventions of man or twisting of facts, the rules to be arbitrary (some good, some bad, some nonsensical) and so forth.

So in my case, if I wanted to, I'd have a completely different kind of coming out to do -- that of coming out to highly religious elders and in an area overflowing with highly religious people that I just don't believe or follow their religion anymore. I don't think I'm ready to do that. I think it is every bit as dangerous as coming out gay in certain areas (and it is the exact same people who hate gays, vote Republican, and for "family values" which basically means forcing their way of life onto everyone else).

[PriestREA]

Re: coming out

I'm part of a family that's extremely close-minded regarding any opposing statement towards their beliefs. Whether it be homosexuality, atheism/agnosticism and the like, I have constantly found myself angry at them for the absolute bile they spew while speaking.

But I digress, what you're doing is definitely a mature and complicated step - I know that revealing aspects of your life that may be considered "abnormal" to some isn't so easy. To this day, I still cannot even inform my parents that I'm an agnostic atheist. Making the step to tell strangers on the Internet (albeit the maturity in this thread is astonishing and heartwarming) is a pretty big step. I would advise to just expect the worst case scenario. Generally, when I consider informing my parents of something that would generally warrant my removal from the family, I expect 'removal from the family', this way, if something like this were to happen, I wouldn't be all too disappointed. Consequentially, believing the worst case scenario will happen may cause instability in your psychological health; however it almost always turns out to go far better than expected, which in turn may serve to restore stable thoughts.

As far as my thoughts on sexual orientation go, my friend of thirteen years has come out to me and only me, revealing that for the longest time he found himself attracted to me (locker rooms after swimming, etc.). I do remember him asking me if I felt attracted to him as well. Kindly, I let him down; however I was very fast to tell him that it isn't abnormal, it's not weird, and it's not disgusting to feel affectionate to the same sex. I still cannot fathom the stupidity of homophobic people as they try to "purify your heart". It's absolutely ironic how Jesus supposedly loves everyone but the second any religious person discovers someone's sexual orientation they are immediately a sinful person who must be cleansed. This attitude is histrionic at best. "Look at me! I want to be on the news so I should probably be against homosexuality! I want people to agree with my shitty logic! Do I fit in yet?" (Basically it's not even about exploring what goes through the mind of someone who likes the same sex. It's all about being heard and attracting attention, whether negative or positive) I see this mindset daily, but people who are, for lack of a better term "gay-bashers", call gay/lesbian people ignorant. Yes, the homophobes are totally not ignorant at all!!!!!!111111!!!!1!1!1!!1!1!1!1 Good on you, mate.

[Hakulyte]

Re: coming out

That moment when you tell your catholic parents that you're transgender and they have absolutely no idea how to react even with the bible.

[smartdude1212]

Re: coming out

Be careful Haku, you'd be next in line for an exorcism.

[macgravel]

Re: coming out

Congrats on coming out, bud. If you ever need someone else to talk to, I'm here.

[Spoiled_Milk]

Re: coming out

Good on ya moches! <3 Myself, I'm greedy as shit I've gotta have a piece of everyone's ass <3 =)

[25thhour]

Re: coming out

The best part about being gay is that it is so easy to get laid... :P

[popsicle_3000]

Re: coming out

you got to ease the topic into some conversation and let it go from there

dynam0: man friend that was an intense sm session right?
friend: haha yeah you really nailed those patterns
dynam0: yeah man kind of like how gay dudes nail other gay dudes in the ass!
friend: hey bro can i tell you something
dynam0 yeah man whats up?
friend: hypothetically speaking would you care if i was bisexual or maybe even gay?
dynam0: bro we shower together after sm sessions all the time and i'll still shower with you even if you are gay or w/e thats your thing just dont try to ram my ass HAHAHA
friend: thanks man
dynam0: no problem man

best post of 2013 so far

[Hateandhatred]

Re: coming out

Grats on doing this! ^^

[dAnceguy117]

Re: coming out

openness is #1. mad respect, moches. best of luck with everything!

plenty of good advice posted here, methinks.

[kommisar]

Re: coming out

The best part about being gay is that it is so easy to get laid... :P

misconception

[rushyrulz]

Re: coming out

The best part about being gay is that it is so easy to get laid... :P

the average 14 year old high school kid probably gets more action than 20 year old me.

[Choofers]

Re: coming out

I was banned when you posted this but now I can finally respond!

This comes as a bit of a shock, I had assumed you were quite the ladies man, and I really don't tend to think of sexuality (being asexual myself) as a big part of identity. I think it's awesome that you're finally coming out, even if it's just on FFR, and you definitely have my support 100%!

When it comes to your parents, however, I would advise to not tell them until you have the means to live by yourself. I know that may sound harsh, or terrible, or any other negative adjective, but if your parents are truly ultra-conservative like you say they are, then I would wait until you are able to live without your parents.

By the way, I hope you know that you're a great guy. If anyone's belittling you because of your sexuality, remember how fabulous you are and if I ever get to meet you, I'll give you a hug and the best goddamned fist-bump you will ever experience.