coming out

[FissionMailed1]

Re: coming out

Niches step your parents a file and show them how you feel through art

In mines, write:
I

L
O
V
E

M
E
N
!

But seriously, I hope everything works out alright between you and your parents mochers. Best of luck to ya, bud!

[rushyrulz]

Re: coming out

No worries, man. Your secret is safe with this community. There are at least 8 openly gay members (and a few that are not so open) on FFR including myself and nobody gives any of us shit about it. Coming out to your parents is a whole new ball game, though. I'm sure my parents would be pretty accepting if I came out to them, but it is still a hurdle I've yet to jump over since I've heard stories of people close to me in my real life that came out to their parents and it didn't go so well..

Anyways, best of luck, moches. Thank you for being so open with us .

EDIT: for what it's worth, it is a huge part of life and I don't really feel like I started living until I started coming out to people. So it is a very good thing that you're starting to come out to more people.

[Ksl33zy24]

Re: coming out

Everyone is bisexual some just swing more to one side than others

Niches step your parents a file and show them how you feel through art

mmm, maybe it's just me, but I don't think "'everyone' is bisexual".

But, yeah, it's all good here, I believe.

[moches]

Re: coming out

the support from everybody here has been heads and tails above what I was expecting. thank you all so much. I'll try and reply to everything posted here after some sleep, but I just want to let everybody know how much I appreciate all of your understanding.

[reptile3141]

Re: coming out

Never feel ashamed for the feelings you have. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it and you definitely have my support! In regards to your parents, man, that sucks so hard I know flipsta had a huge thread similar to this you might want to check out. Best of luck to you, bro!

[rushyrulz]

Re: coming out

mmm, maybe it's just me, but I don't think "'everyone' is bisexual".

But, yeah, it's all good here, I believe.

Yeah, it's hard to say any given thing is certain for "everyone."
I have, however, attended a sexuality seminar where the whole room took a survey of their sexuality, everyone put their paper in the middle, jumbled it all up and took someone else's at random. Then we all kind of scattered around the room according to the answers on our randomly selected sheets and it turns out sexuality is very fluid. There were very few 1's (the straightest option on the survey) and very few 6's (the gayest option on the survey), and everyone was pretty scattered with most of the concentration in 2 and 4/5.

[Reincarnate]

Re: coming out

I think there's a scale for this... k-something

edit: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale

[bballa48]

Re: coming out

That scale is interesting... never thought of it that way.

Regardless, I am pretty darn sure I am a strong 0. I don't really get why you guys would say everyone has a "little homosexuality in them".

I would be interested in hearing the reasoning behind that.

But to the OP, FFR loves everyone

... except sandbaggers, cheaters, and people that double post too much.

[xVaLoRx]

Re: coming out

g'luck with whatever you choose to do, moches!

[dragonmegaXX]

Re: coming out

I thought being gay was popular these days.

No?

[smartdude1212]

Re: coming out

I'd love to say that you should just tell your parents, but that could also be a risky course of action depending on how they react and thus what sort of relationship you'd like to maintain with them.

Quite frankly, it constantly irritates me that homosexuality is still seen as such a sin against nature and has to be kept quiet for fear of retribution, even from the people who raised us... I've got a ridiculous amount of repressed anger on the subject, but that is not for this thread.

Suffice to say I'm proud of you moches... or should I say bro-ches.

[STD_Sappy]

Re: coming out

Here's some hope:

I come from a conservative Middle Eastern family that claimed to be homophobic. I had an internal struggle of being gay for years and it led to me developing some subconscious anger issues. After I told my parents I was bi (at first), they were shocked, and couldn't believe it, but they then got used to the idea. When I told them I was gay, their views about homosexuality were altered, due to them wanting to understand where I was coming from.

I know how you feel, but I promise you'll feel better post-doing it.

(You're most likely gay, but still just not fully developing it because of the fear of polarizing towards one label).

Embrace what you like, and don't let ANYTHING stop you from being happy, because it ultimately, and selfishly, comes down to that in the end.


Also: with education, comes tolerance. I don't know what the sociological definition of heterosexuality is over where you live, but I definitely know that it was implanted from your parent's older generation that was taught to strictly believe in heterosexuality, without any lee-way or even the thought that there could be an ongoing continuum when it comes to sexuality, lol. This isn't exclusive to your family obviously, but just a generalization.

However, whatever can be taught, can also be untaught (i.e racist ideology), and that's definitely what happened when my parents reluctantly succumbed to accepting my sexuality.

Best of luck sir,
It's a big leap, and it wasn't your choice either.

-Sapeer

[Nullifidian]

Re: coming out

Good for you Moches. Hope things turn out ok as well if you decide to come out to your parents.
Only advice I can think of is to be careful of which moment you pick if you suspect they'll flip out (but don't stress yourself out about it). If you're dependent on parental care (roof over your head, food on the table and what not) and you have a good reason to think they won't like the fact that you're gay, it might not be the wisest option to come out at that moment. If you suspect they're accepting of it, then go for it, but it's good to have some sort of back-up plan if this misfires. You never know what the consequences will be really.


@ bballa it's kind of like how many men deny they watch porn, while 95% of them watches it. It's something shameful for many I guess which is why they adamantly claim to have no homosexual feelings whatsoever.
Attraction happens regardless of how much you think you don't have any homosexual feelings. It's not a choice to have those feelings, it's genetics. Homosexual/heterosexual feelings come in various degrees and hardly anyone is absolutely 100% straight (if anyone). It comes down to how honest you are to yourself and how much you're willing to accept feelings like that I guess.

[kommisar]

Re: coming out

I thought being gay was popular these days.

No?

You know what?

Fuck you. Straight up. Get that shit outta here. Even if you're joking, this isn't the right time.

[Reincarnate]

Re: coming out

I thought being gay was popular these days.

No?

Dude, this earns a wholeheartedly-serious "fuck you."



moches: As for your parents, I'd wait until you are no longer financially dependent on them to come out to them (if you choose to do so, that is).