coming out

[rushyrulz]

Re: coming out

I thought being gay was popular these days.

No?

Dude, this earns a wholeheartedly-serious "fuck you."

You're either exceptionally stupid or exceptionally ignorant.

[TwistedPhoenix]

Re: coming out

I thought being gay was popular these days.

No?

I think it's less of a "I want to be gay!" popular and more of a "I want to be paid attention to!" thing. Like not that gay people feel they're suddenly popular because they're gay, it's more those who aren't gay want to say they are just so they can be part of the current controversial debates going on about homosexual rights. So basically, attention whores claim to be gay to be paid attention to, not actual gays feeling that being gay is popular.

[rushyrulz]

Re: coming out

wtf -.-

That's not the case at all. Society is becoming more and more accepting of gays in general so people are less afraid to come out as such without the fear of social exclusion or being smitten from the divine hand of God.

[Nullifidian]

Re: coming out

I would suggest basically showing that if he does come out you will be supportive, and nothing would change for the worse between you. You could do something like talk or post (on facebook etc.) about how you are in favor of gays being able to marry and having other rights everyone else has. You could even say (privately ofc) something like "I just want you to know, you're a really good friend of mine, and that wouldn't change at all if it turned out you were gay or bi." Don't push the point or say it over and over, just try to be clear that if he did decide to tell people he was gay/bi you wouldn't have any problem with it.

Yeah, I think that's the point he's trying to make. If you say something like what you wrote up, he's afraid he might offend the person if it turns out he's not gay. What he's trying to do is get a read on the person without outright commenting about his sexuality. Casually bringing up the gay marriage issues etc and how you're in favor could probably work, but saying "you're a good friend and that won't change if you're gay or not" is just too conspicuous.

never say this around anyone with a certain set of skills

but it would've been better if you said "particular" :')

edit: Roar's post is lovely (o:

[Mollocephalus]

Re: coming out

Moches, you are one of the nicest persons i've ever met and something like this does not change my opinion about you at all. It's a shame your parents have such bigoted views (they named you MOSES afterall!), but you should take some time and then go tell them. It's a big step to take and it may be bothersome at first, but it's worth the trouble. I wish you the best~ Hot kisses jajaja

Oh, one thing i'd like to mention (this seems a good thread to say so) is i always had etherosexual fantasies growing up, and i always idealized love of guy + girl, although i have had a pretty intense homosexual experience around 12 years old, and that taught me that i'm bi to an extent - even though i like girls way more than guys, to be honest. Considering oneself "straight" or "gay" pretty much destroys the possibility of having any interaction with the other side, so maybe you should give it some thought Have you had any first-hand experiences yet?

[lumphoboextreme]

Re: coming out

wow this is such a nice thread look at all of you guys

so proud (':

This, the majority of people in my area aren't very accepting of that sort of thing. I wouldn't know how difficult it is but I hope all goes well for you.

[qqwref]

Re: coming out

If you say something like what you wrote up, he's afraid he might offend the person if it turns out he's not gay. What he's trying to do is get a read on the person without outright commenting about his sexuality. Casually bringing up the gay marriage issues etc and how you're in favor could probably work, but saying "you're a good friend and that won't change if you're gay or not" is just too conspicuous.

Agreed, the way I wrote it isn't perfect, and directly saying something probably isn't the best way anyway (which I did try to suggest). But I think the idea definitely holds, that is, implying you would be supporting if he were to come out. Then if he *is* gay or bi, and ever wants to come out, he would have someone he knows he can be open with.

[Sakish]

Re: coming out

Moches ma man <3 All there is to it is, be proud of who you are no matter who you really are. When you do come out to your parents, dont be shy about it. But show them that you are who you are and you wont change just because your parents might not agree with you.

I wish you the best homie

[swordmasterz]

Re: coming out

This thread prompted me to search why people call this declaration "coming out":

The present-day expression "coming out" is understood to have originated in the early 20th century from an analogy that likens homosexuals’ introduction into gay subculture to a débutante’s coming-out party. This is a celebration for a young upper-class woman who is making her début – her formal presentation to society – because she has reached adult age or has become eligible for marriage. As historian George Chauncey points out:

"Gay people in the pre-war years [pre-WWI]... did not speak of coming out of what we call the gay closet but rather of coming out into what they called homosexual society or the gay world, a world neither so small, nor so isolated, nor... so hidden as closet implies"[11]

In fact, as Elizabeth Kennedy observes, "using the term 'closet' to refer to" previous times such as "the 1920s and 1930s might be anachronistic."[12]

An article on coming out[13] in the online encyclopedia glbtq.com states that sexologist Dr. Evelyn Hooker’s observations introduced the use of "coming out" to the academic community in the 1950s. The article continues by echoing Chauncey's observation that a subsequent shift in connotation occurred later on. The pre-1950s focus was on entrance into "a new world of hope and communal solidarity" whereas the post-Stonewall Riots overtone was an exit from the oppression of the closet.[13] This change in focus suggests that "coming out of the closet" is a mixed metaphor that joins "coming out" with the closet metaphor: an evolution of "skeleton in the closet" specifically referring to living a life of denial and secrecy by concealing one’s homosexual or bisexual orientation. The closet metaphor, in turn, is extended to the forces and pressures of heterosexist society and its institutions.

But anyway, it looks like many of the FFR members here, including myself, support you. It's a big step coming out, even to your closest friends, or 'anonymously' to us! You've managed to tell us, so I am sure you will manage some way to tell your parents.

[Quigly]

Re: coming out

this is like the fourth or fifth post of yours where i felt like we think pretty similarly

quigly/adlp for office 2016

[infinity.]

Re: coming out

i can't wait for the paradigm shift of 'coming out' not being a thing. should be just as normal as saying 'i have red hair' or 'i'm from kansas'.

it's awesome that you can confide in this community, speaks volumes of the people here. all the support in the world from me.

[blindreper1179]

Re: coming out

Pretty much what infinity said. People care about this way too much. Who cares how others feel for each other. Be you, and love it.

[Sweet Angel]

Re: coming out

I remember when one of my best friends from school was going through a similar problem with his mom, he did end up trying to tell her... sadly she wasn't as "acceptable" as I would consider a lot of people are today. However his mother and him were never really that close. At first he was really upset, but the support he gained from all his friends cheered him up a lot and he seems tons happier now that he was able to talk to all of us about it. Even if your parents aren't acceptable of it just remember that there's a lot of friends and people all over the place supporting you =] Good luck!

[_Stepdude_]

Re: coming out

Hope it works out for you man :')

[U.N. Owen]

Re: coming out

When/if you decide to come out, I hope your parents/friends/etc. are supportive.

I was debating whether to come out to my parents as bi. I know my mom would be understanding, but I'm not too sure about my dad (even if he does have his suspicions). Decided that I'll only come out if I ever get a boyfriend or something like that. Just easier that way.