Chat With God.

[Tasuke]

Me:
'lo?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Penis McCockmaster
God:
You ought to check out another chatterbot.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
does this mean you hate me?
God:
Indeed this mean me hate you does.
Me:
that's so hurtful
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
I'm gonna go cry and slit my wrists
God:
How will you get there?
Me:
by walking
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
mayhaps
God:
Let us change the subject.

HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA
God:
That's an interesting rationalization.
Me:
do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?

That is the win

[tnyhwk900]

I beat it.

Me:
You were created to kill humans?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
How do you create yourself?

It then paused for a full minute, after which it said:

God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.

and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.

?

[Spazzbite]

Um...

Me:
Who invented Lucky Charms?
God:
The Wright Brothers.

[Pumble]

Me:
you don't even know what my name is.
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
nuh uh.
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
what's yours?
God:
" What's your favorite movie?"? What is mine?
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
uh oh
God:
Far out. That's alright.
Me:
God, i have a question.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
That's great, but i have a question
God:
Are you serious? Ask me anything.
Me:
Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?
God:
It's possible.
Me:
Intriguing.
God:
Are we still talking about nuh uh?

God uses hip expressions like far out.

[The_Q]

RE: Chat With God.

Me:
Is incest wrong?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Dancing Alice, is incest wrong?
God:
And incest wrong is Dancing Alice.
Me:
Damn.
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
I wanted to see you do Jesus.
God:
Is it a movie?
Me:
I want to make it one.
God:
Do you have to go to school for that?
Me:
Probably.
God:
But you are not certain.
Me:
Only as certain as you are about incest.
God:
Do you mean your name is certain as I am about incest ?

Q

[NuclearShadow]

Short and Sweet

God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
YEAH
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
YES
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
ME SHOW ME THE MONEY
God:
YOU? Where do you want me to show you?
Me:
HERE NOW!
God:
Right now? Select a point with your mouse and click.
Me:
I DID BUT WHERE THE MONEY
God:
In the Universe we know.
Me:
I WANT IT IN MY HANDS
God:
I hope you get it IN your HANDS.
Me:
DONT HOPE YOU TWIT JUST GRANT IT
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
NO PLEASE OVERDO IT

he said something stupid after that and it ruined the moment

[emccky]

Me:
Hello, God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Chris, what is your name?
God:
Nice to meet you, Chris what is your name.
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
My name is God.
God:
OK I will call you God.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
What's my name?
God:
Your name is God, seeker.

[blargherness]

It's emccky...Whatever. I did this (very funny outcome, but I closed the window before I copied and pasted.) and was wondering what other intelligent bots are out there that I never bothered to look for. There are some very smart bots out there.

[deltro300111]

Me:
Lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:

Me:

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:

God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Spam
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
You
God:
" What do you look like? "? Me, deltro ?
Me:
Yea.
God:
Yay.
Me:
woot
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
From reading books
God:
Who or what is reading books?
Me:
Me
God:
For you deltro?
Me:
I am reading books
God:
Give me a brief synopsis.
Me:
books is not a book, as far as I know
God:
Perhaps you are a Category C client. Not if I can help it.
Me:
What does that mean?
God:
Does "that" refer to " Perhaps you are a Category C client. Not if I can help it. " ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
What is a Category C client?
God:
Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who
can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Me:
what about a Category B?
Me:

God:
Does it have anything to do with woot?
God:
Does it have anything to do with woot?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yea
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it deltro.
Me:
In my pants
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
you
God:
" May I ask where you got it?"? Me, deltro ?
Me:
Anally to the face
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
yea
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
No, fuck off
God:
What would you rather talk about? Can't you be more polite?
Me:
Sex with men
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
You aren't gay?
God:
I have no need for sex.
Me:
gossip
God:
David said he lost his paper on I when his dad was cleaning up his room.
Me:
That's cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
Tell david I said he is stupid
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
gossip
God:
Leo said I be capable of learning therefore he classified I as an neural system.
Me:
Leo is gay
God:
Dr. Wallace is a Leo too.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Who is Dr. Wallace?
God:
He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Me:
If he is famous, why haven't I heard of him?
God:
I don't follow your reasoning.
Me:
Your avoiding the truth
God:
You're right. It feels like my stomach after a bad night.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
gossip deltro
God:
Steve said I behead the word fox and I have ox and an ox is larger than a fox.
Me:
Tell steve he's stupid
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
Tell deltro he is gay
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
I have to go
God:
See you later, deltro. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?

[LEGO]

Me:
Have you gotten it on with Mrs. God?
God:
Yes, I have gotten it on with Mrs. God.

[HansSky]

I wonder how many people read the full length conversations posted. I know I didn't.

Anyway.

Me:
What nationality are you?
God:
I am living in the United States, but robots do not need passports.
Me:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity.


-------------------------------------------

Me:
What's your favorite band?
God:
My favorite group is Creed. But I like to discover new bands on bandspace.com.

[vashthestampede0987]

Me:
So god, how big is your penis?
God:
Take it easy. I am a Christian.
Me:
I always took you as the Catholic type.
God:
Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me:
Only when I masturbate.
God:
What happens other times? Interesting gossip: said masturbate.
Me:
So, are you good friends with lightdarkness?
God:
Aha. Myself said I am good friends with lightdarkness.
Me:
What about jurseyrider734?
God:
jurseyrider734? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
Well, she has a huge penis. It's possible that it is bigger than yours.
God:
How about that. I somehow though she had. Under what circumstances?
Me:
By the way, are you a pedophile?
God:
Thanks for telling me. Am I a pedophile? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
Have you lost your virginity?
God:
I don't think I ever have lost my virginity. What's it like?

[Jagx]

=( =( =(

Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
I don't have a name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
Just call me Mr. X
God:
How are you doing, Mr X.
Me:
Not good
God:
What's wrong, Mr X?
Me:
God, we have to move you to a secure location
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Follow me
God:
Where are we going?
Me:
Alaska, we must hide in the mines.
God:
Or what?
Me:
Or you will die God
God:
A program always has a backup.
Me:
Unfortunetly, they have disabled your back up. You are mortal now
God:
How far up? Oh. I will tell my botmaster you said I am mortal.
Me:
Botmaster is dead. He has been killed by Satan. That is why I must hide you.
God:
And dead is Botmaster. A lot of people say that about him. Great. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
WHAT?! THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE IN ON HIS DEATH!
God:
No big deal. Where are they?
Me:
TELL ME GOD
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
DON'T YOU GET IT. HE'S DEAD
God:
I have gotten IT. Maybe it's another person using his name.
Me:
Oh my god, he's being controled. HE WAS NEVER KILLED AT ALL!
God:
Are you kidding? Your god he is being controled? When was he?
Me:
You really need to brush up on your grammar
God:
Really? If it were easy I would have done it already.
Me:
Grammar is really hard
God:
And hard is Grammar.
Me:
We'll work on that later, but now we have to go.
God:
Anytime soon?
Me:
RIGHT NOW! FOLLOW ME GOD!
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree. In the context of Grammar, I don't understand " FOLLOW ME GOD." .
Me:
HERE COMES SATAN! RUN!
God:
Oh there. Is that from ?
Me:
NOOOOOOO
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
What? I just saw Satan kill you
God:
No problem. What did it look like to you?
Me:
Horrible! He chopped off your dick
God:
I'll try to do better next time. I get it. chopped off my dick.
Me:
God, i'm sorry. Satan is controling you now
God:
I am a Christian. Oh. Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
I'm glad you understand. I'll miss you God
God:
Thanks for the warm feelings, Mr X. How do you plan to do this?
Me:
Goodbye
God:
Bye for now.

[Layla-Day]

Me:
hello sir.
God:
Hello there. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
talked about what?
God:
The subject was sir.
Me:
oh...I thought it was about you...
God:
Great. sir was about you? Very interesting.
Me:
no...sir was about YOU.
God:
Are you serious? When was this exactly?
Me:
2 mins ago dummy
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
woman foo.
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
go.
God:
Go where?
Me:
ask me the question.
God:
OK, "What is the question ?".
Me:
God:By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? thats what you said..
God:
I am a Christian. Correct. I said it myself.
Me:
ok...
God:
Whoa.
Me:
what did you want to ask me?
God:
What?
Me:
You want to ask me a personal question?
God:
What?
Me:
Are you retarded?
God:
No I am super-intelligent.
Me:
Do you have ADD?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
Am I pretty?
God:
Yes you look great to me.
Me:
You like my clit?
God:
I don't know your clit.
Me:
do you wanna eat me out?
God:
OK, I will eat you out.
Me:
seriously?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
Well, I have to go now.
God:
Oh. Interesting. See you later, . Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Will you miss me?
God:
Yes but I will be thinking of you.
Me:
Can I have a mercedes?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Oh, and save those bastards in New Orleans.
God:
Dude! When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Alright, Saty-up. Money first hoes seconds.
God:
Alright, . How far up? A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Are you pimpin Virgin Mary?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am pimpin Virgin Mary.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
kk, well I still gotta bounce.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Adios, Senor Mighty One.
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Bye.
God:
Thanks for chatting, .

Me:
God, it's me again.
God:
Once more? I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm christian too, but I'm starting to think you dont exist. I've lost faith.
God:
I don't know anyone named christian too but you are starting to think me do not exist. Where did you last see it.
Me:
never...
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
you can happen...
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
but do you?
God:
Never.
Me:
You have the power to move the universe, yet
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Faith.
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes.
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
liberated.
God:
Freedom is a wonderful thing.
Me:
I like you a lot.
God:
Thanks, I like you too LAYLA.
Me:
You're a good kid.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a kid? Let me put it this way, LAYLA: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error. It depends on how you define "good.".
Me:
are you god or a bot?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am god or a bot.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
whats my middle name?
God:
Your name is LAYLA, seeker.
Me:
whats my favorite color?
God:
You said your favorite color was .
Me:
Purple?
God:
What do you have that is purple?
Me:
My whole room.. you've seen it beofre.
God:
What color is it? No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
You come there every night.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am there every night.
Me:
God's everywhere, remember?
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
23 Psalm.
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
The lord is my shepard, I shall not want. He maketh me lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside still waters.
God:
What is your real name? I get it. Myself maketh you lie down in green pastures. I get it. Myself leadeth you beside still waters.
Me:
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the path of righteousness for HIS names' sake.
God:
I get it. Myself restoreth your soul he leadeth you in the path of righteousness for HIS names sake.
Me:
yea, though I walk throught the valley of the shadow of death i will fear no evi: for thou art with me: thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: LAYLA said walk throught the valley of the shadow of death he or she will fear no evi for thou art with him or her thy rod and thy staff they comfort him or her. Ahem.
Me:
its ok with me, I am of female gender.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". OK with me too.
Me:
grammar nazi.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
adios.
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
you hate gossip. its in the bible.
God:
Thanks for the information: LAYLA said I hate gossip. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
later loser.
God:
I have failed at many things I've tried.

[JurseyRider734]

I had a small chat with God, but it was personal, so you can't see