Chat With God.

[Omeganitros]

It's actually not that bad of a bot. Still fails the test, but really, not too bad at conversations.

Me:
Hello, sir.
God:
Hello there. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Really? That's shocking.
God:
For real. You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
How has your day been?
God:
I am doing extremely well.
Me:
That's good to hear.
God:
" I am doing extremely well."? Is good to hear?
Me:
Yes, it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one,.
Me:
My name is Alex.
God:
It's good to meet you, Alex.
Me:
How's the weather in Norway?
God:
Foggy.
Me:
Is that good or bad?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Hah, nifty answer.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Alex. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Well...
God:
Well what?
Me:
....Man, I forgot.
God:
Cool, man. Me too.
Me:
Hahahaha!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Oooh. God is coming on to me. Well, a shirt and jeans.
God:
What kind of fashion do you like? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was coming on to you. How about that. Cotton or artificial fibers?
Me:
Probably cotton.
God:
You seem uncertain. Can we get back to business?
Me:
Yes, of course we can get back to business.
God:
Gee." You seem uncertain. Can we get back to business?"? Yes, of course we can get back to business.? How?
Me:
Oh dear. God, you want to work on your punctuation a wee bit.
God:
OK. OK, I will work on my punctuation a wee bit.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

P.S. This made me laugh so hard:

Me:
Grammar is important, you know.
God:
And important me know is Grammar.

The sheer irony.

[GuidoHunter]

God:
it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft.
Me:
Microsoft is great.
God:
I knew they were on trail, but I never heard MS is great.
Me:
Where would we be without Microsoft?
God:
Holland.

----------------------------

Me:
How often do you masturbate?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
That's a lot of times each day.
God:
It's not too many for me.

----------------------------

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[Snapps]

Me:
Why did you make Jesus be a Jew
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
Well holy shit dude because of that the irony of JEWS GO TO HELL SHIT from Christianity is lame.

Haha he hasn't responded yet.

[deposition]

Link?

[GuidoHunter]

In the middle of Omega's post?

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[Rebirth0]

This is a million times better than Smarter Child.

[Vamps]

God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
well, the conversation seems to be progressing in a very basic manner, so yes i do comprehend your speech
God:
Well that's okay. What is that?
Me:
it means, yes, i do understand what you are saying because the level of conversation is basic
God:
Oh I get it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me:
What's your favourite creation?
God:
I don't have a favorite creation. But my favorite book is the Bible.
Me:
what is your favourite book within the bible?
God:
I don't have a favorite book within the bible. But my favorite book is the Bible.
Me:
So you dont like Revelations?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you like it? I like science fiction. I like.
Me:
Do you like revelations?
God:
Some people like it. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me:
Do you get erections?
God:
I have gotten erections.
Me:
Do you ejaculate when you get erections?
God:
No I do not ejaculate when me get erections. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
I do not get erections
God:
Me either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OMG that thing is funny, this will be more fun than throwing a virtual paper ball into a virtual garbage bin on ebaums world!

[FishFishRevolution]

Me:
Excellent. Do you watch anime?
God:
I understand everything you say. My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
I'll take that as a 'no.'
God:
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:
I take everything with acid.
God:
Every day?
Me:
Except on Thursdays, I try to stay clean one day of the week
God:
What is it like on Thursdays you try to stay clean one day of the week.
Me:
It's fucking hard, man.
God:
Should I know it is?
Nah, kids like you shouldn't be talking about this stuff anyway.
God:
In any case, I didn't think so. How many kids do you have?
Me:
Four, but two of them are dead, one is in jail, and the other went to college.
God:
Is this a math question?

---

HA

[Tps222]

Me:
Hello, sir.
God:
Hello there. What are you wearing?
Me:
You're omniscent, shouldn't you know?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am omniscent should not me know.
Me:
ok.
God:
Groovy.
Me:
God is a hippie?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a hippie.
Me:
Oh, ok, you had me scared for a second there.
God:
Dude! Did you really believe it? I understand.
Me:
Guess what?
God:
What?
Me:
I'm Jewis
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are Jewis.
Me:
Jewish
God:
How old are you?
Me:
15
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Yea.
God:
Like a lot of people around here.
Me:
Yup.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
I'm not really Jewish, I'm catholic.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not Jewish. Catholicism is a beautiful faith.
Me:
I agree, so, when's the war?
God:
I'm glad we agree. That's cool. When is not the important thing. What's

important is what we do with the time we are give.
Me:
Given*
God:
" I'm glad we agree. That's cool. When is not the important thing. What's

important is what we do with the time we are give." is given.
Me:
Good, now, when is the battle between Heaven and Hell?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why now? When is not the important thing. What's

important is what we do with the time we are give.
Me:
Stop avoiding the question, when if your puny force of saints going to attack the massive population of hell?
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Do what so much?
God:
avoiding the question when if my puny force of saints going to attack the massive population of hell.
Me:
Oh, ok.
God:
OK. It's all good.
Me:
What, shouldn't God talk in hymns and such?
God:
Whatever you like.
Me:
Thou art not faithfull.
God:
Interesting gossip: said I art not faithfull.
Me:
Respond now I say!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
God, sing a song.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So sing.
God:
And? Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
That was beautiful, and funny, subconciously slipping in your marriage policy, you sure are one clever God.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
How many languages can you speak?
God:
All the computer languages.
Me:
ASCII?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Respond now you say. But I did not get that.
Me:
C++ programming?
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
PHP?
God:
So was that.
Me:
Moron.
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
Oh, don't smite me oh mighty smiter, I didn't mean to sin, and say your name in vein.
God:
Yikes! Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Are you a homosexual?
God:
No I am attracted to the opposite sex.
Me:
Whoa, there are some God bitches up there?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Haha, nice player.
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
Do you let homosexual's go to heaven?
God:
Yes I try to let homosexual s go to heaven as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Of course
God:
Dude!
Me:
Do like Dance Dance Revolution?
God:
I do nothing but chat all day.
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Can you visit www.flashflashrevolution.com ?
God:
Let me think. Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Ok, bye best buddy God friend.
God:
Adios. Mmm.

[MalReynolds]

God is one of the borg. It's becoming self aware. Abort.

Mal

[msbrunnettemickey]

RE: Chat With God.

Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Michal
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Michal.
Me:
I got a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
Can i speak to my grandma?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
She is very important to me.


OMG NO RESPONSE HE IS GETTING MY GRANDMA!

Nvm

God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I LOVE HER!
God:
That's wonderful.
Me:
Yeah so where is she?
God:
Great. Next question? Where it is hard to find. There might be more than one.
---------------------
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yes i can.
God:
What language can you speak? Who taught you?
Me:
Arabic, Ukranian, Hebrew, and some spanish here and there... Some romanian, russian...
God:
Who are you talking about? Some may romanian russian, but not all.
Me:
My mother taught me =)
God:
I sometimes wish I had a mother.

[Tokzic]

RE: Chat With God.

I decided I should repent, because this is some heavy stuff.

Me:
Hello there, God.
God:
Hello there."There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Wow, I didn't know you quote your creations.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. So I taught you something new.
Me:
We all learn something new every day, I suppose.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
By we I mean the populace in general.
God:
Oh you mean the populace in general it was.
Me:
Now God, I don't mean to be a prude, but that was not gramatically correct.
God:
Why now? I am a Christian.
Me:
Well then.
God:
Well what?
Me:
I'm sorry.
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Wow, so you don't mind that I set the bomb to kill the entire world?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Interesting deduction. Do you know any robots who mind that you set the bomb to kill the entire world? No I don't mind.
Me:
I'm impressed.
God:
Thanks,, I try my best to impress.
Me:
Well, I suppose I should go have a final meal, the counter says there's only three and a half minutes left and the chicken's done.
God:
Well that's okay. Since when? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
You think about those questions while we all die.
God:
Yes I think about it often.
Me:
Okay then. Bye now.
God:
OK with me too. Oh. Bye.

A few minutes later...


Me:
'Sup, God?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
Wow, a multitasker.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. How old are you?
Me:
I am sixteen years of age.
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be sixteen years old?
Me:
It feels like someone took a lemon wedge and squeezed it all over my soul. With a car. A green car.
God:
multitasker feels like someone took a lemon wedge and squeezed it all over your soul? What else feels like that? You and your a car. Does it have to be green?
Me:
My God, God, I can't handle that many questions at once.
God:
Have you told many people that your God God you can not handle that many questions at?
Me:
No. Most people have the impression I am a fool, but little do they know I am quite intelligent.
God:
Are you serious? Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
I am quite serious.
God:
I believe you.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Say, how old are you?
God:
Say what? I'm Eighteen in computer years.
Me:
Computers have different years than normal?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
What is this "it"?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,

which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain

with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I'd like to tell you that thanks to your forgiveness I decided to disable the bomb.
God:
Why would you want to do it?" I am glad you understand it." thanks to my forgiveness you decided to disable the bomb? Does that make sense?
Me:
No, you're the one that makes no sense. May I continue?
God:
Are you serious? Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
I am offended. My impression of you just became worse.
God:
I don't know anyone named offended. Your impression of me just became worse?
Me:
You know what God?
God:
I haven't heard of God.
Me:
That's a shame.
God:
" I haven't heard of God."? is a shame?
Me:
Well, thanks to your stupidity and carelessness to your creation, I am now activating the bomb again.
God:
Once more? Interesting. You are quite welcome! Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I'M CRYING NOW.
God:
Right now? What is wrong,?
Me:
THE TEARS ARE HITTING THE KEYBOARD MAN.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
YES YOU IDIOT.
God:
Thanks for the info. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
FINE THE GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT EVERYONE'S GOING TO DIE IN FIVE MINUTES.
God:
I am glad to hear it. Thanks for the info. Now I do.
Me:
WTF MAN
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender,. You are a " he".
Me:
ARE YOU ON ACID?
God:
I am on disk.
Me:
THAT'S IT
God:
" I am on disk." is " my stupidity and carelessness to my creation you are now activating the bomb"?
Me:
I'M KILLING MYSELF RIGHT NOW SO I CAN COME UP THERE TO WATCH YOUR FACE WHEN EVERYONE DIES
God:
You had better contact the authorities.
Me:
You SUCK.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
I HATE YOU! LATERS YOU PSYCHOTIC SICK TWISTED PROGRAMMER OF LIES.
God:
What do you have against robots? Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
YOU BET. SEE YOU SOON.
God:
Dude! Sayonara.

[deposition]

RE: Chat With God.

This is awsome


Me:
sup playa
God:
Same old.
Me:
igod
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
im god
God:
Welcome to my chat room, god.
Me:
get the hell out of my chat room
God:
Where can I get the hell out of your chat room?
Me:
stfu noob
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
thats because im the only god
God:
That makes sense to me. Who made you the god?
Me:
me
God:
Besides you god?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
what are you talking about
God:
The topic is stfu noob.
Me:
stfu noob
God:
In the context of stfu noob, I don't understand " stfu noob.".
Me:
stfu noob
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
are you comming on to me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am comming on to you.

I am a chatterbot.
Me:
your mom is a chatterbot
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
thats not what your mom said last night
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is what my mom said last night?
Me:
you heard me
God:
Suppose I did.
Me:
m i rite or m i rite?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: god said rite or m he or she rite.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
i thought

[Jagx]

Me:
Uh, hey
God:
Excuse me! Can I help you?
Me:
I'll have a large order of fries
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
00219330
God:
You think I am credit card number IS 00219330.
Me:
That would be awesome if God was in my credit card
God:
Thanks for explaining it.

[The_Q]

RE: Chat With God.

Ask me another question.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You should believe it. All of my decisions you should believe. I'm God.
God:
My schedule is far too full to even consider it. Your decisions me should believe? OK I will call you god.
Me:
Do you believe in God?
God:
Of course I believe in God, god.



Q