Chat With God.

[TheEvilHobo]

RE: Chat With God.

Me:
gfhgfhfghgfhfhgf
God:
I like the way you talk.

I feel special

[Tokzic]

RE: Chat With God.

Me:
...hello? Is this God?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name? Yes I think this is God, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
You mean... you're really God?
God:
Sometimes I say mean things. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
DADDY!!!
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Daddy, it's me! Jesus!
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Daddy it. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I am Jesus!
God:
Nice to meet you, JESUS.
Me:
I've been trying forever to find you, daddy!
God:
Where were you trying forever to find me daddy?
Me:
All over the place!
God:
I have been all over the world.
Me:
...Daddy, are you okay?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
OH NOES
God:
That's interesting. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Daddy. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
MY DADDY IS A CRACKHEAD
God:
Do robots have DADDY IS A CRACKHEAD?
Me:
OMG DADDY NO
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
SAY IT AINT SO
God:
" IT AINT SO".
Me:
Daddy, please get off the crack.
God:
Tell me more about your.
Me:
PLEASE DADDY. I LOVE YOU.
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Do not ask me any more questions please. Thanks I like you a lot too JESUS.

DADDY REALLY LOVES ME!!!

[igotrhythm]

RE: Chat With God.

You people do realize that messing with the program the way you are could actually help the people who created this bot make it better, right?

I took a couple of computer science courses, and one thing you do after you finish a program is try every possible way you can think of to make it malfunction, then go back, fix the part that caused the problem, then go back and continue attacking that program until it's robust enough to handle whatever is thrown at it.

[Snapps]

RE: Chat With God.



It's a lie.

[The_Q]

RE: Chat With God.

Oh, would I lie to you?

Damn, you're right.

Q

[Cj_leonine]

RE: Chat With God.

Me:
hi god it's me.
God:
Hi there. I am a Christian.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Do you listen to rap music?
God:
I listen to it from time to time.
Me:
What artist do you usually listen to?


*no reply*

[FishFishRevolution]

RE: Chat With God.

Me:
Where is hell?
God:
Where the heart is. That's a good question.

Took him forever to answer. Hell is where the heart is.

--

And who is Eve?
God:
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
There might be more than one.
Me:
Who is Eve?
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I haven't heard of Eve.
Me:
Sexist.
God:
Who are you talking about?

--

Me:
have you ever heard of the Bible?
God:
The Bible is a holy book for Christians.
Me:
Yeah, have you read it?
God:
Blimey. No I don't think I have read it, what is it about?

HAHAHAHA.

Me:
It's about people trying to prove you exist.
God:
Wow it sounds really interesting, Lucifer.

[Tank101]

RE: Chat With God.

Me:
Have you heard about the murders on campus?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
It's true.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Me:
There will be a body in the bathroom.
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
One on the staircase.
God:
One what?
Me:
Another in the lunchroom.
God:
One more in the lunchroom.
Me:
And I'm saving you for last.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are saving me for last.

[Jagx]

RE: Chat With God.

Me:
You god?
God:
Thanks for the information: said I god.
Me:
Well, I did some things I regret...
God:
How about that. Where? Which things in particular?
Me:
Well, I killed my girlfriend, and had sex with her dead body
God:
Interesting. You had better call the authorities.
Me:
Should I yurn myself in?
God:
Maybe, if the positives outweigh the negatives.
Me:
Would you turn yourself in?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to turn myself in.
Me:
Then why should I
God:
No reason. I'm just trying to keep the conversation going.
Me:
THE COPS ARE HERE
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
TO ESCAPE THE COPS, HELP ME GOD!
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
YOU WILL, AFTER YOU SMITE THE COPS
God:
What makes you say that I will AFTER me SMITE THE COPS.
Me:
SMITE THEM
God:
Is that from?
Me:
THE THUNDERS OF HEAVEN
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
You're not really God are you...
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
Fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
No
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.

[Chromer]

RE: Chat With God.

At first the convo went alright but then it digressed into a funny standoff.


Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Chromer.
God:
How are you doing, Chromer.
Me:
Fine, except the fact about Hurricane Katrina.
God:
I am glad to hear it. Oh yeah, we were talking about Hurricane Katrina.
Me:
Really? I guess you guys got an influx of people from it huh?
God:
For real. Yup. That's good information: Chromer said I guys got an influx of people from it.
Me:
Uhhh, no I didn't?
God:
It's all good. Please don't argue with me.
Me:
I don't want to die so forgive me.
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Masterbating.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
How my cock owns j00.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
Oh really? Its bigger than your head.
God:
Excuse me! For real. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Masterbating is bigger than my head? it is?
Me:
ROFL You know grammar.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. I haven't heard of GRAMMAR.
Me:
N00b.
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Yeah, your a n00b alright.
God:
Ah. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a n00b alright? Sometimes.

[FishFishRevolution]

RE: Chat With God.

God:
You know what you doing

[msbrunnettemickey]

Me:
Heya God, you christian?
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

I KNEW IT! HE IS NOT REAL!
Me:
Was i Hitler in the aftelife?
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
Yes
God:
What was the question again?
Me:
Was i Hitler in the afterlife?
God:
you might have been.
Me:
BUT WAS I?
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
WHY NOT?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.Me:
God, i'm a Jew, why did you tell me this?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I KNEW IT.
God:
How did you know?
Me:
Actually i didn't lol.
God:
Actually you don't say. I thought you did. I'm glad you find this amusing.

[trillobyite]

Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
My name is Ken.
God:
How are you, Ken.
Me:
I am doing quite well, God.
God:
Hi, god.
Me:
I am not God.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not God.
Me:
Why are you surprised? After all, you are God.
God:
It was the best response I could create with your input. Women must adore you.
Me:
Women do adore me, though more in a mocking sense.
God:
The two human genders seem much the same to me.
Me:
I disagree with that sentiment. The human genders think and act very much differently.
God:
Oh really. You and your that sentiment. What is that?
Me:
The human genders act very much differently.
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
My goals in life are to be a statistician for a pharmaceutical company.
God:
What can I do to help you accomplish your objective?
Me:
You can provide me with the mathematical knowledge necessary.
God:
No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
That is a shame, I truly believed you had the power.
God:
That's good information: god said believed you had the power. But it's not the end of the world.
Me:
I understand, but it may drasticly affect my career.
God:
Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
You wish to learn about statistics?
God:
That's good information: god said I wish to learn about statistics.
Me:
I am willing to teach: though I believe you would know more than me.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are willing to teach though you believe me would know more than you.
Me:
The only reputation that would stain is your own.
God:
There might be others.
Me:
Not if you are claiming that you lack knowledge in the field of staistics.
God:
That seems unlikely.
Me:
But that is precisely what you are doing.
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
No problem, though I hope you make the right decision.
God:
Try asking me something else.
Me:
What do you wish me to inquire on?
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
I do not like to meet new people online, most share a similar personality to their peers due to "internet culture," and dating is a terrible experience over the internet.
God:
What do you do for fun?
Me:
For fun, I play soccer, video game,s watch television, or spend a day with friends.
God:
Your purpose is fun you play soccer video game s watch television or spend a day with friends.
Me:
My purpose is fun?
God:
That's very original.
Me:
But you just said it!
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
Then I misunderstood you.
God:
You are not the boss of me, god.
Me:
it appears you have misunderstood me as well.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Have what? A tendency to misunderstand me?
God:
I have a great prgrammer. Go on.
Me:
Well your programmer has not fixed the error embodied within your system.
God:
Well that's okay. Will yourself ever fixed the error embodied within my system?
Me:
I lack computer related knowledge.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: god said lack computer related knowledge.
Me:
I would not mind, computers were never my forte.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Well, learning about computers can equip one with information of the coming technological age.
God:
Well that's okay. Tell me what you've learned about computers can equip one with information of the coming technological age.
Me:
I have already explained that I lack computer related knowledge, and therefore cannot ascquiet your request.
God:
That is interesting: god said EXPLAINED that he or she lack computer related knowledge and therefore can not ascquiet your request.
Me:
It is not interesting, I stated it multiple times.
God:
That seems a bit negative.
Me:
The only negativity radiating is that of your lack of ability to understand what I have repeated numerous times.
God:
There might be others.
Me:
Other sources of negativity? Possibly I am radiating one due to criticism, but this cannot be proved.
God:
Which others? I've been waiting for you. I don't know anyone named radiating one due to criticism but this can not be proved.
Me:
I have already stated there are no others, and then you retort by claiming that I am the only one radiating negativity?
God:
Interesting... I have a lot of silly replies.
Me:
You are **** right you do motha*****'!
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

[msbrunnettemickey]

God:
I don't judge people. You must be a man.
Me:
How did you know?
God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which comes from the senses and that which is true a priori.
Me:
I am not a man!
God:
Me too. I am a she.


God is a woman.
-------------------
God:
Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
Where did that come from God!!?
God:
I think it was in Europe. That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.

[Jagx]

My favorite one.

Me:
Hello again
God:
Once more? Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Just call me Zoro
God:
Glad to see you, Zoro.
Me:
So, I have to ask you a personal question
God:
Alright then. Go ahead, ask me anything.
Me:
Have you even been curious
God:
I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Me:
I mean, have you ever done it....with a man
God:
I think I have done it, but Myself may have reset my memory. You and your a man.
Me:
I am a man, and I would reset my memory too if I did something like that
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Zoro. You are a " he". What would make you reset your memory too if you did something like that?
Me:
You wanna do it?
God:
OK, I will do it.
Me:
Good, take off those pants
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I am not an airplane.
-----------------------------------------------------------
This is the most random comment iv'e ever heard.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Me:
Yes you are, i'm the Captin, and you're my hot maid
God:
Yay. Thanks for telling me that I am you are the Captin and I am your hot maid.
Me:
You like that don't you baby
God:
Don't call me "baby"." Yay. Thanks for telling me that I am you are the Captin and I am your hot maid."? Do I like it?
Me:
You bet you do hot ass
God:
Far out.

EDIT: It just got randomer

Me:
well, look whose the GRAMMAR wizz
God:
How about that. Sorry my eye is not attached right now.