Relationship Poll

[JurseyRider734]

Re: Relationship Poll

absolutely not

[Poison-]

Re: Relationship Poll

Has anyone that said yes been in an intimate relationship? Just curious.

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Relationship Poll

Of course.

Granted, I wouldn't really have a choice otherwise, given the marriage...

Ninja'd: erm, yes.

--Guido

[Poison-]

Re: Relationship Poll

Marriage aside, still a yes?

[One Winged Angel]

Re: Relationship Poll

fuck no

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Relationship Poll

I don't really know how to process "marriage aside" with stretchy in the picture, so if we're doing a thought experiment in which I haven't gotten married: no, probably not.

I'm trying to keep the scenario as simple as possible with that answer, but there are plenty of things that could complicate the matter, such as: is this stemming from an issue that could possibly be worked on or fixed, such as emotional issues, depression, or chemical imbalance of some sort?

--Guido

[Svaz]

Re: Relationship Poll

That's really not enough information to assess. What are the reasons for no intimacy, are they incorporeal (in which case that would be too interesting not to pursue, assuming that our interactions had advanced to that decision point), or are we simply forever distant from each other (parallel universes or something, which could lead to their infidelity elsewhere), or do they not find me attractive (which would definitely feed into underlying insecurities)? I think I'd be alright as long as I could have some kind of physical contact, preferably something like snuggling/cuddling. I don't think my life would be too bad without multiplayer sex as long as I still had time to solo, perhaps not even that. I don't know.

[icontrolyourworld]

Re: Relationship Poll

Nope. Those are called friends.

this

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: Relationship Poll

I kinda want to believe that if there was an open relationship where I'd love someone but they can't have sex, that I'd go to someone else for it...but really what's the point. Call me shallow, but what is love without intimacy?

[ohsosilly]

Re: Relationship Poll

Well the Vancouver orgies would certainly be less fun without it, I meaaaaan

No, but seriously, when it comes to intimacy, everyone moves at different speeds, and sometimes it comes (for lack of a better word huehue) in waves. Totally agree with danceguy on the counselor thing if you don't want to tackle things on your own, but I think it might also help to try to talk to her about it in a way that gives her the power, or puts things in her terms. Not sure what you've already tried, but saying something like "hey listen, I'd really like to talk a little more about intimacy with you... sometime this week" (or in the next two weeks, or whatever timeline you feel like suggesting) lets her know that you'd really like to have this convo, but still gives her time to gather her thoughts and consider how she really feels, instead of having her feel like she's put on the spot. Decide on a time that you're going to talk about it, and stick to it. It's never fun to feel blindsided by those sorts of conversations, and while it could be a bit odd to have the thought of "okay, we're gonna talk about sex in 3 days..." lingering in your mind, it would seriously cut down on the clamming up and you'll both have a solid handle on what you want to say when the time comes.

Obviously it's something she's sensitive about, so another, slightly hokier idea would be to do something like make a pro-con list together - and make it fun. You could, I dunno, create sort of funny, (but still intimate) scenarios and talk about why they would or wouldn't work, or something like that. You're still addressing what you want to address, but you're doing it in a way that puts her at ease, and you're showing her that you're making the effort to understand her in a ~nice, playful way!ii !1_!~

But really, at the end of the day, I feel like a relationship's a two-way street, and she should be opening up to you about this stuff. Hopefully she'll come around and you guys can have an open and frank convo about it. It doesn't have to be a dealbreaker, but if it's something that's bothering you, I'd definitely address it sooner rather than later.

[Mollocephalus]

Re: Relationship Poll

So many people said yes, but i highly doubt these people have any idea of how a relationship works. A romantic involvement INCLUDES a sexual involvement. If you refrain to express it, you're gonna have serious issues. Asexual people are people who have mental blocks about sexuality. It's a disease, not a choice.

[Dynam0]

Re: Relationship Poll

So many people said yes, but i highly doubt these people have any idea of how a relationship works. A romantic involvement INCLUDES a sexual involvement. If you refrain to express it, you're gonna have serious issues. Asexual people are people who have mental blocks about sexuality. It's a disease, not a choice.

Going into a relationship knowing that there will be no physical intimacy expressed is a value both partners must share in order to be happy imo, and it's entirely possible for this to happen and be a healthy functioning relationship. Obviously though if one or both partners value physical intimacy and it is no longer being expressed, that's an issue that has to be resolved.

Once again this discussion comes down to values over all else and there really is no wrong answer, only disputable claims as to why someone might choose said answer

[dAnceguy117]

Re: Relationship Poll

Asexual people are people who have mental blocks about sexuality.

[citation needed]

It's a disease, not a choice.

that's a false dichotomy btw

[justaguy]

Re: Relationship Poll

wow 15 people said yes thats just completely and utterly incorrect

[XelNya]

Re: Relationship Poll

Wow 15 people said yes that's just completely and utterly incorrect.

No it's not. If you're so hung up on the fact you can't have sex you are the one that is completely and unfathomably wrong. You're merely treating that person as a blow up doll. Not as a person you actually care for. Sex is not something that should hold together the relationship. It should only excel it. It isn't a "disease" to not have a sexual desire. Treating it as such is fucking pathetic on your end. Realistically sex is a disgusting activity anyways.

Also before someone brings up "casual sex" please remember both parties are/should be aware of this status of treating each other as an object of sexual desire. If you're alright with consenting to it, shit that's your thing. Power to you.

That said:

But really, at the end of the day, I feel like a relationship's a two-way street, and she should be opening up to you about this stuff. Hopefully she'll come around and you guys can have an open and frank convo about it. It doesn't have to be a dealbreaker, but if it's something that's bothering you, I'd definitely address it sooner rather than later.

Is a pretty good way to sum it up.