Bulimia

[AriesMalvis]

Re: Bulimia

yea...no one else needs to kno, unless she feels like telling someone. one thing tho, i don't kno if she's tried is going to those online help forums. i kno lots of online things can seem sketchy, but that kind of thing can help in ways that other things can't. i've used online support to help with a certain problem i've had...it's that being able to confide in ppl that have the same condition...that kno what you're going thru, it's just comforting. esp since most ppl don't kno too many ppl that live around them with the same condition :/ one site i used for my ed help actually changed it's location...and then the site kinda changed so it's not the same anymore. i think basically what im trying to say is that her having ppl to talk to that can understand her point of view can be one of the more helpful things as well
i mean when you're dealing with a problem you don't need someone telling you that you're stupid and disgusting...you need someone to tell you that they understand, and that things can get better...
just reasure her everytime she's feeling down...make sure she always remembers things can get better, even if it takes time. and just try to notice if there's certain things that trigger her. like one for me if someone says they haven't eaten in a long time...even if it's cuz they're sick...it makes me feel extra horrible for any food i've eaten :[ oh and i was wondering, the weight and appearance of others...how bad does it affect her?

[johnnyhoney0]

Re: Bulimia

it's that being able to confide in ppl that have the same condition...that kno what you're going thru, it's just comforting.

Yes, that can potentially be a huge help. I don't know for sure right now if she goes to any kind of group therapy.

She and her parents, and now I am semi-involved in the discussion, too, have been debating sending her to a residential therapy program, such as the Castlewood Center. The main problem with that is it's extremely expensive. I browsed through some other treatment facilities on the internet and found that the average cost per day of such a program is $1000. Multiply that by the basic 35-day program, and you're looking at a second mortgage.

Fortunately, her parents have enough equity in their home to pull out and use to send her to that if they decide to. I relaxed a little bit when her mother was explaining it to me...until she said it might not matter anyway. The failure rate of those programs? 85 PERCENT.

I still think it's worth one shot, though. Because 15% is better than zero.

the weight and appearance of others...how bad does it affect her?

That's a good question. She does seem to feel envious of anyone who loses any amount of weight, whether they needed to or not. On her MySpace profile she has a picture of Nicole Richie at possibly her worst stage with a caption at the bottom that says, "she is my idol." Makes me want to cry, really.

So, in a more brief answer, I would say it affects her enough to get serious about losing weight.

[AriesMalvis]

Re: Bulimia

o that's cool, i kno that residential treatment facilities can work wonders...if the person goes there willingly of course. :/ one thing i don't like about that option is that it's not personal...well i mean individual, like one on one with a psychologist...
and that's terribly sad about her 'idol'...i hope she's not one of the ppl that believes there's no such thing as too thin :[ some of the thinspiration i've had were kate moss, keira knightley, and mary kate...

[johnnyhoney0]

Re: Bulimia

one thing i don't like about that option is that it's not personal...well i mean individual, like one on one with a psychologist...

"Castlewood's homelike setting is comfortable and intimate, allowing for personalized care and highly individualized treatment planning." (From Castlewood's Treatment Philosophy page.)

I would hope that all institutions place a huge emphasis on individual attention. That is possibly the most important factor in any treatment program: making sure the individual is given the greatest amount of attention. If they didn't do that, patients would probably feel like those caring for them didn't actually care at all.

i hope she's not one of the ppl that believes there's no such thing as too thin

I would say that is the mindset of many sufferers of both bulimia nervosa and anorexia nervosa. I can't convince her that she actually needs to gain weight. As far as her body weight is concerned, if she gained 10-15 pounds, she would be just fine. Of course, she is still malnourished, but I think if the former is taken care of, the latter should follow.

[AriesMalvis]

Re: Bulimia

o ok..i just skimmed the site so i only saw this part 'Most programs do not provide individual therapy during the stabilization and/or weight gain portion of treatment.'
the main thing is she has to find what works for her...the problem is there's so many options it can be difficult to do that.
for me when i was at my worse, i was in college...at yea ironically i was at le cordon bleu...which is culinary...so there's me little miss food is evil...surrounded by food all the time...but yea that's getting off the main topic here...
has she tried to set weight goals for herself and tried to keep a healthy weight in other ways like exercise? hmm...well that can actually be dangerous if her bmi is too low

[johnnyhoney0]

Re: Bulimia

the problem is there's so many options it can be difficult to do that.

More difficult than most people think. As I've said, there is a psychological and a physiological side to bulimia nervosa. There are many different treatment approaches to both sides of the disease. On the one hand, you have CBT and group therapy, psychological evaluation, and psychiatric evaluation. On the other hand, you have physical medication, diet counseling and nutritionist appointments, and now new research on sex hormones.

So, you're right. There are many different options available, and the difficulty is in finding the right one. I showed Dr. Naessen's thesis to my girlfriend's mom and she was thrilled to know that someone is taking such a promising, albeit different, approach to the treatment of this disease. I don't know what they're planning to do, but I'm just waiting. Waiting for more to be uncovered by those Swedish folks out at the Karolinska Institutet.

has she tried to set weight goals for herself and tried to keep a healthy weight in other ways like exercise?

Yes, she has. Unfortunately those weight goals are not exactly "goals" in the way we think of the word. She is constantly trying to reach lower and lower body weight.

As far as exercise goes, let me first quote some common knowledge (at least, common among people who know about bulimia).

"Recurrent inappropriate compensatory behavior in order to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting; misuse of laxatives, diuretics or other medications; fasting; or excessive exercise." (From Wikipedia)

She exercises nearly every day. So, I am finding myself exercising nearly every day. But it's not just a thirty minute workout. It's a long, grueling, two-hour marathon that nearly kills me every time I go. We run on the treadmill, ride on the bicycle machine, use the Stairmaster machine, lift weights, do crunches, push-ups, barbells, dumbells, YOU NAME IT, WE DONE IT. I'm finding that I'm getting in shape, which is the only good thing I can pull out of this, except, of course, that I'm being there for her.

[AriesMalvis]

Re: Bulimia

yea i can understand how that can be, i used to write down my goal weights on a calender id draw in my notebook...it would get lower and lower
too much exercising can be a bad thing. there's ppl who just have to run 5 miles every morning, 7 if they ate at all that day as punishment...
you should try get her to do an exercise type thing that's more 'fun' than 'exercise'...like dance videos or something. it's just safer if she exercises in the house or some place like that instead of running all around or on workout equipment, cuz if her body becomes too tired she could get seriously hurt :/

[johnnyhoney0]

Re: Bulimia

...like dance videos or something.

Like Tae Bo and stuff? That's interesting. I'll run that by her later today or tomorrow.

Good news, she has agreed to start keeping a journal. It's like a food journal, where she writes down everything she eats, the time she eats it, and how she's feeling when she does. She's told me in the past how she can't stay committed to a journal enough for it to make a difference, but I told her she just hadn't had a drill sergeant standing behind her making her do it. That's what I'm here for!

I'm only mentioning that because she told me she would need my help to make sure she actually keeps the journal and stays committed to it. This means a lot to me because she knows I'm constantly trying to figure out ways to help/be supportive.

Also, she told me a little while ago that she thought it would probably be during the summer that we would start seeing improvement as far as treatment goes. I don't know if she and her parents worked out something or what's going on, but all I know is that's good for two reasons. The obvious one, and just the fact that she believes it's going to happen makes me more optimistic that it actually will.