Bulimia

[johnnyhoney0]

Does anyone have a relative or someone else close to them who suffers from clinical bulimia nervosa? My girlfriend does, and I am beginning to suffer from it as well.

Not suffering in the sense that I am developing the disease, but suffering in that the stress it causes me is very fatiguing. I feel utterly helpless 100% of the time because everyone I talk to about it says that it is something she will have to come out of herself. I have done a great deal of research and read enough about the disease enough to understand this concept, but despite that, I still want to help any way I can.

I have discovered research by a Swedish institution that is developing a new form of treatment for the disease. It was published in Dr. Sabine Naessen's doctoral thesis in January of this year. This experimental treatment fights bulimia from a physiological standpoint, as opposed to the traditional CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) that is geared more toward the psychological side of the disease. Though physiological treatment has been researched in the past, it has been more in the form of developing a compensation for the elevated serotonin levels in bulimic patients, and hasn't been explored throughly, due to the fact that the agent tryptophan is banned by the FDA. Thus, this new form of treatment offers a new doorway to overcoming the disease entirely (3 subjects in Dr. Sabine Naessen's study completely overcame the disease due to the anti-androgenic treatment received during the study) and is very exciting, for me at least.

Until more research is conducted and more is discovered about the possibilities of anti-androgenic treatment becoming mainstream, I can only hope to simply be there for her (my girlfriend) as much as I possibly can, since that is the only thing I have been told that I can really do.

My question, then, is: does anyone have a good way to support someone with bulimia in a way that is therapeutic? I am sick of not being able to actively do anything, and I would like to know if anyone has had experience with this/had experience helping someone through bulimia, and if they know of anything that works well.

Thanks a million!

[jamuko]

Re: Bulimia

I've never known anyone in this situation personally, so I probably couldn't be of any help, sorry :/ but I just wanted to mention that it's a disorder, not a disease. XD "Disease" makes it sound like it's caused by bacteria or something.

Best of luck in dealing with this. It's not easy.

[kylehaas]

Re: Bulimia

i think it is a totally retarded mental disease.

i dont know how to help you.

[Windscarredfaith]

Re: Bulimia

It saddens me how some people do actually develop the disease, but it is completely normal. I have learned from first hand experiance of how to support someone with bulimia because one of my best friends suffered through it for around a year (and still is, but is getting better).
The best thing to do would be to tell an authoritive figure that could help you. Talk to your friends about it and definitely let people know. No one can help if no one knows about the problem.
You should also understand that bulimia is a type of disease that can be helped. You have to psychologically change your thinking. There has to be an origin to your problems, whether they be neglection, lonliness, or other stressful things. It's best to find out WHAT made you feel as if you will resort to binge eating.
In Health class, we learned that people who binge eat and then control the food intake with purging is what bulimia is ultimately. It's the fact that you are able to control one thing in your life, which is eating as much as you wanted, and then still staying skinny at the same time.
My advice would be to find out the origin to your problem and try to fix it anyway you can. Again, telling parents or teachers can help you go to doctors who can give medication if needed.

[johnnyhoney0]

Re: Bulimia

but I just wanted to mention that it's a disorder, not a disease.

This is really beside the point, but technically, since the definition of a disease is "any harmful, depraved, or morbid condition, as of the mind or society" (dictionary.com), bulimia nervosa is in fact a disease. It makes more sense to call it a disorder, that stands to reason. However, when referring to the condition, both "disorder" and "disease" are acceptable. As a matter of fact, Dr. Naessen refers to bulimia nervosa as a disease throughout her thesis.

Not making anything personal, just stating the facts.

but it is completely normal.

I would hardly consider bulimia to be normal... I hope that's not what you're saying is it?

The best thing to do would be to tell an authoritive figure that could help you. Talk to your friends about it and definitely let people know. No one can help if no one knows about the problem.

The fact that she has bulimia is already well known throughout both of our families, so I would consider all the authoritative figures well informed enough, though I agree with that. There's nothing more important than making sure it ceases to go unnoticed, I couldn't agree more.

You should also understand that bulimia is a type of disease that can be helped. You have to psychologically change your thinking.

Hope is the only thing that keeps me going, the hope that we can treat this and overcome it completely, I know it can be helped. Although I agree that yes, one does need to restructure the maladaptive thoughts that lead to bulimia, there is also significant evidence to support the fact that clinical bulimia nervosa has both a psychological facet and a physiological facet. The latter is the reason for Dr. Naessen's work.

As for the rest of your post, Windscarredfaith, I agree, except for a few things.

One, that there are purging and non-purging types of bulimia, so for your health teacher to say that bulimia is binge eating and "controlling the food intake by purging" is not entirely accurate.

Two, that one of the main criteria for diagnosing bulimia nervosa is consuming "a large amount of food in a rapid, automatic and uncontrolled fashion" (from Dr. Naessen's thesis). You may be confusing this with purging, which is a way that bulimics try to control weight gain after a binge, but I could be wrong, I'm not sure what exactly you meant by "you are able to control one thing in your life, which is eating as much as you wanted".

Finally, going to "doctors who can give medication if needed" is what she is already doing. I don't disagree with that, but it's kind of stating the obvious, wouldn't you say? Plus, the most common medication prescribed by doctors for a condition such as bulimia nervosa is fluoxetine (you may know this as Prozac) or any other drug from the Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) class. SSRIs are very well known for the extreme nature of their adverse side effects, both short term and long term. There are quite a few serious long term sexual side effects of those medications as well, so we don't want to do any more damage than we already have. I hope to have babies someday.

I appreciate your feedback, though, Windscarredfaith, it means a lot that you care enough to post something intelligent in response. But truthfully, we have done/are doing everything you've mentioned. Do you know of anything else I might be able to do to help?

Oh, and please, kylehaas, I didn't ask for everyone who doesn't know how to answer my question to post in this thread. So if you don't mind.

[Windscarredfaith]

Re: Bulimia

Maybe you should give her lots of compliments all the time, even about small things, just to perk up her day, and boost up her confidence level. I think that it's important for her to feel special, even with all she's going through. Be sure to be there for her as much as you can, and... have you guys found what's making her turn to bulimia? Is it stress, abuse, peers?

[AriesMalvis]

Re: Bulimia

it's not a retarted mental disease...
ive dealt with it for years...and like with most ppl with ed's it comes and goes or changes...from mia to ana...
ive never been too bad seeing as ive always managed to stay over 100 lbs
one thing that my family used to do it make me eat pizza...and that's the worst for a bulimic to eat :/
hmm sorry i can't really think right now, maybe ill have something important to say later on

[johnnyhoney0]

Re: Bulimia

Maybe you should give her lots of compliments all the time, even about small things, just to perk up her day, and boost up her confidence level.

As a boyfriend, I do that a lot anyway, and I condone that behavior for everyone! You're right, though, about boosting her confidence level. As I'm sure is common sense, bulimia is somewhat of a self-confidence issue, so anything along the lines of "I really liked that green and white-striped polo you wore to the DMV today" helps.

Be sure to be there for her as much as you can

Yea, I hear that from everyone. It's frustrating for me though because I don't feel like that's doing enough. Everyone, including every doctor (including my dad), that I've talked to says that really the only thing I can do is just to be there for her as much as I can. Of course, I follow that verbatim: you couldn't drag me away from her if you really wanted to! It's just that I can't accept that as being the only thing I have the power to do, so I'm trying to figure out if anyone that has been through this did anything extra to help speed recovery besides just being supportive.

Again, don't get me wrong here. I agree with everyone who says that being close and not getting upset with her behavior is very important for those who are spectators. It's just that I feel like I should be able to do more than that.

have you guys found what's making her turn to bulimia? Is it stress, abuse, peers?

I'm answering this based solely on what I'm very sure/know for sure about from her past. I'll answer by giving you a brief history up to today.

Basically, there was a verbally abusive/controlling boyfriend about two-three years ago that caused her eventually to start to feel so bad about herself that she resorted to bulimia. Back then, it was because of that guy. Now, it is simply a habit. She can't stop doing it. It is her way of dealing with any stress in her life. There is no more abuse at all, in any aspect of her life (except, of course, the abuse she causes to her own body), and peers play no role at all.

As for the other possible cause you mentioned, the only stress in her life is that of everyday life in high school, which is no more stress than anyone else her age is going through. Except for her, this is too much a lot of the time. She will blow some little problem way out of proportion and it will cause enough anguish to make her start a binge/purge cycle. That, of course, is what bulimia does to its victims. It screws up your mental processes to a higher degree than many other anxiety-related diseases.

Since there really is no environmental factor causing her symptoms now, it really is only a matter of treatment and overcoming the disease. Until then, she will continue her binge/purge cycles habitually (4-6 times a week is what I've found that she averages).

[AriesMalvis]

Re: Bulimia

o well she's not too bad then, so that's good...but doing that at all is never a good thing. i used to do that so many times a day
do you think she does it now, not only out of habit but because she feels it's one of the only things she has control over?
and im sure she knows the damage shes doing to herself, and any type of help...either medical or not can only go so far...

[Windscarredfaith]

Re: Bulimia

it's not a retarted mental disease...

Who said it was?

Also, I think what you can do is to remind her that her previous boyfriend is gone. He has no role in her life anymore and even though there are scars, there are better and more supportive people (including yourself and parents and friends) to help her. Remind her that things might not always work in her favor, and that if she gets through it day by day, things will become better. Be sure to tell her that she can solve her problems rationally. Try to get her into the habit of stopping, taking a breath, and then tackling the problem, not immediately resort to binging. Food is a temporary comfort, but the problem that was there to begin with will never be solved if she doesn't stand up to it.

[johnnyhoney0]

Re: Bulimia

i used to do that so many times a day

Luckily, she has been able to keep it to only one time a day, though I agree with you, even that is one time too many.

because she feels it's one of the only things she has control over?

No, honestly I don't think it's really a control thing. She knows as well as everyone else does that it's not an aspect of her life that she feels in control of at all. She has high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and a low white blood cell count. On top of that, she is extremely malnourished, iron deficient, and anemic. I wouldn't say that is really in control at all. I understand that those are bodily conditions, and that's not really what you were asking about, but I think that has a lot to do with it.

It's like a different part of her personality takes over and she is forced to do it. That's usually how she describes it to me.

and im sure she knows the damage shes doing to herself, and any type of help...either medical or not can only go so far...

Oh, yes, she knows. Definitely. She tells me all the time about how she knows she's killing herself by doing this, but that she can't stop. It's extremely hard for her to quit doing it. The logic of "if you would just stop, then you'd be alright" evades the part of her that says "I have to do this, period". Of course, I don't ever say the words "if you would just stop, then you'd be alright", but you get what I'm saying.

It's good to hear from you, AriesMalvis, having been/being a bulimic yourself. This is what I was hoping for: input from both bulimics and non-bulimics. Thank you.

[johnnyhoney0]

Re: Bulimia

Who said it was?

.

i think it is a totally retarded mental disease.

.

Remind her that things might not always work in her favor, and that if she gets through it day by day, things will become better. Be sure to tell her that she can solve her problems rationally. Try to get her into the habit of stopping, taking a breath, and then tackling the problem, not immediately resort to binging. Food is a temporary comfort, but the problem that was there to begin with will never be solved if she doesn't stand up to it.

Thank you, that is the type of answer I'm looking for. I've been trying a few of those things already, and they seem to be working a tiny bit. The only exception being the part about "the problem that was there to begin with will never be solved". The thing is, she knows that already.

[TK_yesillkillubitchboez]

Re: Bulimia

you need to set up an intervention

[johnnyhoney0]

Re: Bulimia

you need to set up an intervention

Explain.

I hope you're not talking about what I think you are, because that is absolutely out of the question.

[AriesMalvis]

Re: Bulimia

no definitely don't do that! i don't kno why ppl think those things help ppl. if you did that you could make things worse...
you could scare her so bad...and she'd lose trust in you

so def just stay the way you are...honestly you're such an understanding person...most ppl aren't like that. i hope your gf knows how lucky she is...even if she does have these hardships. ppl like you do make things so much easier