Mental illness thread

[Dinglesberry]

Re: Mental illness thread

Growing up around all these mental illness treatments, I gotta say, most pharmaceuticals that are marketed to make mental illnesses better just end up making them worse. Like most things in life, if you are reliant on anything that comes from the outside to help what's on your inside your ability to naturally generate said internal processes will deteriorate. Though I've noticed psychoactives that appear in nature tend to be balanced along-side the brains of animals that have evolved along-side them over the millennia. Basically, I believe everything heals, mental and physical, though you have to know what you're absorbing, and guard your gates tenaciously.

have you ever heard of anhedonia

[Kairon]

Re: Mental illness thread

Growing up around all these mental illness treatments, I gotta say, most pharmaceuticals that are marketed to make mental illnesses better just end up making them worse.

Citation needed.

[Moria]

Re: Mental illness thread

Citation needed.

Pharmaceutical companies aren't the type of industry to willingly disclose the statistics of how often their products fail or detriment the people prescribed them. In the same sense a car manufacturer would be reluctant to release the data on how often breaks fail or transmissions stall; It hurts sales and strays from their own interest.

[Dinglesberry]

Re: Mental illness thread

Pharmaceutical companies aren't the type of industry to willingly disclose the statistics of how often their products fail or detriment the people prescribed them.

Might be anecdotal evidence here but I'd say a large number of people who have tried/take anti depressants are well aware of how often a certain one doesn't work (aka none of them actually work, rip), but yea no actually concrete stats

[nate mdance]

Re: Mental illness thread

Florida was the pharmaceutical capitol of the world about 6 years ago. The only real reference I have is my experience. And off-hand experience studying brain chemistry. Allergens, irritants and stimulants tend to be the biggest cause of the "new-age" disorders such as ADD, ADHD, OCD, sleep problems and depression. I also have massive clinical depression, ADHD and OCD, all of which I've figured out are bullshit and completely in my control. And I've never met a person who isn't. Now I can't talk about things like schizophrenia and autism, those are actual real mental disorders, and therefor almost impossible to actually medicate and mediate. And anhedonia, unless diagnosed from an early age, just sounds like a lack of dopamine balance from getting stuck in a pleasurable rut for too long and no longer enjoying what you used to.

[Cavernio]

Re: Mental illness thread

A really fascinating idea, bicameral mind.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bica...sm_(psychology)

[awein999]

Re: Mental illness thread

i'll share my personal experience in case it might help anyone else struggling and also anyone is welcome to personally message me:

i struggled with crippling depression and anxiety most of my life. i've been seeing a psychiatrist for 8 months and after years of trepidation, hesitation, fear, and doubts i started to cautiously try a medication lexapro. started with 2.5 mg and slowly increased and had a few symptoms like fatigue, diarrhea, increased anxiety at times, loss of appetite/sex drive. Also psychologically the feeling of taking medication made me feel like a huge loss of control psychologically just from thinking about the concept of free will/the human condition too much. it was rocky and after slowly increasing it cautiously with the help of my psychiatrist i've been stable on 20 mg, all the side effects are gone, and it has really helped me with my depression and anxiety. not only is this helping me but it really helps all the people around me too because i'm a better version of myself. i was cautious though i didn't just blindly trust the process to say the least, if anything i was overly neurotic about it but i'm aware of a trend of people being over prescribed in this industry and some things even making it worse. but anyway this was a positive experience for me and hopefully it helps other people think things through

[Cavernio]

Re: Mental illness thread

If I lose weight I'd probably end going through withdrawals of some of the meds I've been on as small amounts get dropped back into my bloodstream, which then triggers other parts of my body into thinking 'oh she's gonna be getting more of drug x, must compensate'
The body likes it's own homeostasis.

[Rapta]

Thoughts

When I find a song I really enjoy (listen to over and over for hours), it tends to amplify whatever emotions I am feeling at the time while the lyrics also contribute to my thoughts, and because I like the song, I listen to it for hours before eventually not liking the song as much anymore, or being so filled with emotion that I tire myself out (I realized this today).

Now, let me tell you an ironic story. A few years ago I tried to kill myself. I swallowed a lot of pills, but because of my internal anguish, I made a post about it on FFR. People on FFR called an ambulance for me, I survived, etc.

What caused all this was because a new song came out and it had amplified my emotions at a time when I was feeling very depressed, and I literally acted without rational thought and on emotions. The irony was that it was supposed to be an inspirational song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJPc49z57bU). In the song, it had a theme of "going all the way", at a time I was really really depressed, which I assume made me feel like going "all the way".

I realized this because two days ago I listened to an undertale song for hours, and I was filled with great happiness, I was excited because a graduation party was the next day, I was going to attend it even though I thought I might leave to go home early because of depression like the last party I went to.
The party came and went, I had a lot of fun, I was so glad. Two days later (today), I found a new song I really loved the melody and sounds of. When I had first heard it when it came out, I didn't want to listen to it, because I didn't like the lyrics (I wanna die, die die by Tom Ska), but today I randomly came across it again and decided to listen to it, as I am pretty much over my depression. I love the melody so much that I have been listening to it for the past hour.

As I was listening, I started remembering all the little things that happened at the party, things that I regretted saying or did, reflecting on what I should have said or done and what I am anxious about that could happen at the next party this Thursday, soon feeling a more intense regret.

Hearing this song talking about wanting to die, it has reminded me I don't enjoy existing. But at this point in my life I fear death, or more specifically, I fear the pain and sadness that comes with death. I have always feared pain, and after knowing the pain I felt from the suicide attempt, I have wanted to avoid dying as much as possible. Also, I recently went into a phase of being interested in watching people die (on the internet), and watching those people die, I felt sadness, empathy.. At that time it was cemented into me even more that death was painful, it is awful, I also felt the empathy that others would feel if I died, I saw that death is not something to want.

So it lead me to wonder, if I don't enjoy existing, and I don't want to kill myself, what do I do? I am somewhat inconclusive, but right now I am living in the moment as much as I can so I don't gather ruminating thoughts, always giving myself a short term purpose, not caring about the future until further notice.

Music will always be a large part of my life. I don't regret that suicide attempt I made while I was intoxicated on my emotions, I am thankful I acted then and there while I wasn't thinking straight, instead of making a different attempt after I eventually would have succumbed to my ruminating thoughts anyway, in which I would have been more likely to actually have died because I would have been able to think more clearly on more effective ways to end my life.

Basically, if I had not attempted when I did, I would have attempted sooner or later anyway, but with a more thought out attempt due to my thoughts not being clouded by my emotions so much, so I am glad I wasn't able to think straight at the time because of music, because I was able to avoid having to go through even more immense pain caused by a more well thought out suicide attempt.

TL;DR I love music and have come to terms with my depression because of music!

[Travis_Flesher]

Re: Thoughts

So it lead me to wonder, if I don't enjoy existing, and I don't want to kill myself, what do I do?

Emocore. Take it to the next level.
Be extremely negative and antisocial.
Wear black and only talk about emotions.
Make blackmetal dumpfiles.
Let go of all your normal friends and get new, weird friends.
Turn every situation into an introspective emotional thing.
Eventually evolve into a treehugging freegan, get sterilized, grow corn, weave quilts, and spend the rest of your free time making society feel ashamed.

[Dinglesberry]

Re: Mental illness thread

I Dont know

[Dinglesberry]

Re: Mental illness thread

I can't even motivate myself to exist enough to fix my life, great, I give up, it never gets better

[Spenner]

Re: Mental illness thread

When you constantly feel like you're carrying the entire weight of your issues, it's going to feel like you're not doing anything for yourself significantly.

It's kind of like counting calories. You just have to do little things and to acknowledge that you did something good for yourself rather than nothing. Even if it's getting up and going for a walk or going to the store even if it's for a snack. Still. A flow of little goals goes a long way. Kind of have to just force yourself to do a few before you have any sort of momentum.

I've been trying to do that to keep myself focused. Because I know that basically it's a matter of focus for me, and acceptance. My mind is noisy and my inner dialogue bullies me mercifully. So bringing my attention to things that I can demonstrate have more real world importance helps bring me to a better place.

Aaaaaaa hugs to all

Edit: sorry I know this probably means nothing if you're depressed. I always forget how hard it is to really hear anything constructively when your brain refuses to signal dopamine to confirm positive feedback. You just have to make a plan and trust it.

[3lijah]

Re: Mental illness thread

i hope i dont fail.

[Soundwave-]

Re: Mental illness thread

When you constantly feel like you're carrying the entire weight of your issues, it's going to feel like you're not doing anything for yourself significantly.

You just have to do little things and to acknowledge that you did something good for yourself rather than nothing.

Man, you said nothing new, and I needed to hear it anyways.