Mental illness thread

[MarcusHawkins]

Re: Mental illness thread

I've been born with High-Functioning Autism, but it did not really come out until I was 2. It's basically a different kind of wiring in my brain that allows me to excel in the left and suffer in the right.
Anyways, throughout all of my childhood life, I've been under school paraprofessionals and speech therapists so I can learn to communicate with others effectively. I was in need of supervision by the authorities until 8th grade where my independence started to shine.

I've always had a fascination with letters, numbers, colors, shapes, and counting; and I also had a fascination to classic music! That really allowed me to excel in maths, physical sciences, concert music, and percussion!

That being said, to this day, I still can't really talk right, I talk too fast, and it's still hard to me to make eye contact and communicate properly with others. I also twitch quite a bit from time to time, and most of the time, common sense and sarcasm aren't really in my vocabulary. However, I am doing a lot better in all of this now.

Hope that makes sense, because most of the time, I can't even put words into text!

P.S. - It makes me upset that due to the fact that I suffer very differently from all of the other mental illnesses, as this one doesn't tinker with my emotions, I can't truly help out to those that suffer from other mental illnesses triggering emotions, and as such, I am always left guilty, helpless, and ashamed for that.

[evanescence_death4ever]

Re: Mental illness thread

I've been born with High-Functioning Autism, but it did not really come out until I was 2. It's basically a different kind of wiring in my brain that allows me to excel in the left and suffer in the right.
Anyways, throughout all of my childhood life, I've been under school paraprofessionals and speech therapists so I can learn to communicate with others effectively. I was in need of supervision by the authorities until 8th grade where my independence started to shine.

I've always had a fascination with letters, numbers, colors, shapes, and counting; and I also had a fascination to classic music! That really allowed me to excel in maths, physical sciences, concert music, and percussion!

That being said, to this day, I still can't really talk right, I talk too fast, and it's still hard to me to make eye contact and communicate properly with others. I also twitch quite a bit from time to time, and most of the time, common sense and sarcasm aren't really in my vocabulary. However, I am doing a lot better in all of this now.

Hope that makes sense, because most of the time, I can't even put words into text!

P.S. - It makes me upset that due to the fact that I suffer very differently from all of the other mental illnesses, as this one doesn't tinker with my emotions, I can't truly help out to those that suffer from other mental illnesses triggering emotions, and as such, I am always left guilty, helpless, and ashamed for that.

I honestly wanted to avoid posting in this thread (although one other thing super jumped out at me from someone else...not going to directly address that else I may throw some fightin' words )...but...!

Marcus, I don't want to ignore the former part of your thread reply, but your post script compelled me to quote and reply to you. Of course I cannot change how you feel, an I have no authority to even think I can, nor do I know exactly how you feel, so I cannot present the words "I understand" to you, even if I think I have some sort of idea.

Differences in types of mental illness does not give way to invalidation, so although many here may suffer from other sorts of illness than you, it doesn't make your experience any less valid. Validation also holds true for your emotions--you may feel guilty and ashamed, but I hope I can help you understand that you don't need to feel ashamed or guilty, since no blame can be placed on you for the distribution of mental illnesses among users as they are.

I'm no professional. I know nothing. But I would like to think...perhaps I know a bit about the crushing, agonizing weight of feeling guilty, ashamed, and helpless. I hope perhaps (with time and effort) you can come to understand that there's no need to feel a sense of comparison leaving you with the negative aftermath of guilt and shame.

You do you, do the best you can, and take your time. Sounds like things have been on an uptrend over the years?

Anywho. As stated previously, your post script just...tugged at somewhere...somewhere close to home. Try not to compare your struggle to that of others. ♡

Take care, my fiffer friend.

[MarcusHawkins]

Re: Mental illness thread

Of course I cannot change how you feel, an I have no authority to even think I can, nor do I know exactly how you feel, so I cannot present the words "I understand" to you, even if I think I have some sort of idea.

This is exactly what else I go through when I try and help those other illnesses. It is also why I left with that guilt, helpnessness, and shame. Even though you say you don't understand, that phrase just sums that up, so I believe you DO understand.

Differences in types of mental illness does not give way to invalidation, so although many here may suffer from other sorts of illness than you, it doesn't make your experience any less valid. Validation also holds true for your emotions--you may feel guilty and ashamed, but I hope I can help you understand that you don't need to feel ashamed or guilty, since no blame can be placed on you for the distribution of mental illnesses among users as they are.

Thank you so much for being one of the guys that truly believes mental illnesses should not be ignored, no matter how little.

I'm no professional. I know nothing. But I would like to think...perhaps I know a bit about the crushing, agonizing weight of feeling guilty, ashamed, and helpless.

Due to what you said in the first quote I replied to, I'd say you already know a lot!

I hope perhaps (with time and effort) you can come to understand that there's no need to feel a sense of comparison leaving you with the negative aftermath of guilt and shame.

I do hope this will happen with time and effort as well.

You do you, do the best you can, and take your time. Sounds like things have been on an uptrend over the years?

Yes, things have been on a big uptrend over the years! I hope that trend continues to improve!

Anywho. As stated previously, your post script just...tugged at somewhere...somewhere close to home. Try not to compare your struggle to that of others. ♡

Take care, my fiffer friend.

Thank you so much for this heartwarming and comforting response! I'll forever look upon this to help me think on how to improve!

[SKG_Scintill]

Re: Mental illness thread

diagnosed with autism when I was 12
took 2 attempts to finish primary school
took 3 attempts to finish high school
dropped out of 2 college studies
labeled unsuited for employment
weekly talks with psychologist
welfare for life
but at least I can step gud

[ItsOnlyDanO]

Re: Mental illness thread

Anxiety is the big one for me, started for me around November last year and affected my Uni work for a bit, worst part is that it can decide to appear at any time, even when i'm not even feeling unhappy (such as right now for instance)

It doesn't help that paranoia is a big factor as well and when those two come along at once it's absolute shit, my mind just goes absolutely off on one about my personal image and my perception to others, it closed me off from others for a bit for some time early this year.

It's still an issue now but I think the best thing for me was just talking about it to practically anyone I spoke to. Heck I even made a really long facebook post around December/January pretty much laying my entire mental state on the line which was the best thing I could have done. The fact I was always around people at University as well was a big factor (something I'm missing a little now that i'm done) but it's been getting better. I've got some good friends who look out for me and I do the same for them, and I've been trying to change the way I think about people and life in general as a whole. (Putting things into fact or opinion helped out a lot) It still crops up in certain situations (mainly due to someone i'm interested in and me not trying to be a complete asswipe infront of them or my otherthinking of any form of social contact with them)

Also anxiety can be a surprisingly good motivator as it actually made the uni work I produced this year the best I've ever done (Possibly graduating with a first which I didn't think I had any hope of getting)

Now it's just keeping myself occupied and talking to people whilst not trying to destroy myself over someone I like or my personal evaluation of myself

[V-Ormix]

Re: Mental illness thread

you guys ever get that feeling were you're mind thinks of fucked up stuff and you know you aren't that kind of a person but are still concerned were those thoughts come from?

edit:some times I feel like I'm going to snap in public to tell my head to stop what its doing -.-

[leonid]

Re: Mental illness thread

Not diagnosed or anything but i think i have a serious case of gaming addiction, but I'm not sure if i want to fix it

[V-Ormix]

Re: Mental illness thread

Not diagnosed or anything but i think i have a serious case of gaming addiction, but I'm not sure if i want to fix it

it took u many moons to acquire that level of gaming addiction you can't just quit now

[Rapta]

Re: Mental illness thread

Manifestations, of my frustration from holding in my depression and anxiety, through nightmares is really hard sometimes. Like just now when I was taking a nap, I had a dream that a girl and I who loved each other kept living in different instances of existence. Except she has a curse where she turns into a demon (often triggered when I come near her) and kills everything in sight with strength and speed that disregarded physics. I kept trying to talk to her, trying to turn her back with words and my feelings, but she just ended up killing me. Which was REAAAAALLLY painful. Then I woke up in another instance of existence, and I decided I was going to keep trying to help her turn back from her demonic form so I kept triggering the catalyst and I kept waking up in different areas with her, while she had different grievances each time she turned into a demon. I couldn't turn her back, and each time I failed she killed me (WHICH FELT LIKE I ACTUALLY DIED OWWWWWWWW ;_; ). Eventually after about 60 tries I lost hope and gave up but I kept waking up in the instances near her and I couldn't stop her from transforming anymore and eventually I just kept pleading with her not to kill me because it really hurt and I didn't want to be hurt anymore. She kept killing me in different ways. I couldn't escape her. Every time I tried to jump to my death hoping for a less painful death, she would show up every time and grab me out of the air and kill me. I was stuck in a cycle of constantly seeing my love transform into a demon which kept killing me and I couldn't do anything to help or escape. I kept dying. it was awful. It was torture! I'm so glad to be awake right now.

I had a nightmare where I was in class but I had a headache so I was taking some aspirin but I kept taking them without realizing and eventually it made me almost fall unconscious in class and when I woke up I was in a room with some administrator trying to understand what I had done and I kept getting angry that he wasn't believing me and starting smashing things out of anger and he kept telling me that what I was doing wasn't helping my case..

Then I finally woke up, but I was having a really difficult time opening and keeping my eyes open (because the thermostat was low and the body sleeps better when it is low) and I wanted to stay away from the first nightmare I kept slapping myself to stay awake. My heart still hurts for some reason I can't pinpoint but I know it's related to the nightmares.

Talking about it what these nightmares are manifesting from doesn't help, I tried that a lot. The anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication I am on doesn't reduce the nightmares, they only help me feel better when I am awake. I don't know how to get rid of these constant nightmares and I hate it

[Daniel Cudmore]

Re: Mental illness thread

I get pretty bummed out when I am lonely - I am not sure if it's a mental illness, but it does get pretty dark with me.
How do you guys find out you are not 'average', per sae?

[iCeCuBEz v2]

Re: Mental illness thread

you guys ever get that feeling were you're mind thinks of fucked up stuff and you know you aren't that kind of a person but are still concerned were those thoughts come from?

edit:some times I feel like I'm going to snap in public to tell my head to stop what its doing -.-

Theyre called intrusive thoughts theyre normal

Im diagnosed bipolar I and it describes most of the symptoms i experience.

Its normal to be upset about feeling lonely thats normal too ...

If you really feel like you might have a mental disorder then consult a psychiatrist. Look up user reviews of said psychiatrist before meeting with them. The last thing you need is getting misdiagnosed and being perscribed medication that you dont need. (or even worse .... Experience unnecessary side effects)

I treat medication as a last resort dire straits kind of thing. You should practice every coping skill before convinicing yourself you need medication. Try meditating some time.

There's a really fine line between depression caused by exterior factors and depression thats caused by an actual serotonin uptake deficiency within your brain.

[JeffreySoftbark]

Re: Mental illness thread

''''''

[L.B.D.D]

Re: Mental illness thread

i have a serious avocado addiction

[A2P]

Re: Mental illness thread

I have a plethora of them, and what I've learned is this:

The sooner you get treatment for mental illness, the better the quality of your life will be.

[Dinglesberry]

Re: Mental illness thread

I have a plethora of them, and what I've learned is this:

The sooner you get treatment for mental illness, the better the quality of your life will be.

define "quality life"