Leaving FFR for a while

[Mahou]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

Exactly. Which is why I don't really care. It's not like it's the end of the world...When he gets his things all situated, there is plenty of time for fiffer.

[korny]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

For the sake of discussion, it is good to communicate these things to make clear why some of the advice given in this thread, is absurd if we are to assume riots account of this is exactly as is. I never doubted for a moment that riots account could possibly be filtered.

[Cavernio]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

It doesn't matter that from the chat log I read that I got the impression that riotpolice seems childish and I now have an impression of him where I could see him missing out on opportunities in life because he's too focussed on video games. Doesn't matter at all.

Dad shouldn't be trying to discipline a 20 year old, I don't care if his son lives with him or not. He's not 12, and to treat him like he is disturbing to me. There is no side to someone controlling someone else unless it's a reaction to being controlled. Like if riotpolice were threatening his dad with something if he couldn't live in the house, which I sincerely doubt has happened.

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

plz tell me you don't actually think parenting stops when your children become adults

[Mahou]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

That's not what he's saying.

[korny]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

Dad shouldn't be trying to discipline a 20 year old, I don't care if his son lives with him or not. He's not 12, and to treat him like he is disturbing to me.

No, dad should enforce the rules as he sees fit because it is his goddamn house and his age does not matter. You seem to keep thinking for some reason, that because he is 20 years old, he is immune to any sort of rule abiding.

[Reincarnate]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

What matters is that Riot needs to start putting plans into motion to move out.

[Mahou]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

What matters is that Riot needs to start putting plans into motion to move out.

End of thread.

[Cavernio]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

plz tell me you don't actually think parenting stops when your children become adults

It does. Your love for your kids doesn't, and nor does your love for them, but that's hardly the same thing as having a parent-child relationship.

The moment my mom 'gave up' on me and treated me as an adult without trying to hone me, improved my relationship with her 100%.

[Cavernio]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

No, dad should enforce the rules as he sees fit because it is his goddamn house and his age does not matter. You seem to keep thinking for some reason, that because he is 20 years old, he is immune to any sort of rule abiding.

When your rules involve what -I- do, when it has no effect whatsoever on how -you- are, those rules are wholly unjustified. We're not talking about household chores.

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

My mom had been over protecting me my whole life. I had struggled with police and counsellors that told me "it's my mom's choice what to do with me, because I am relying on her for care." I rebelled and left, which forced her to accept that I'm not someone you can control like that.

point is that riot is probably going to have to take some sort of action if he wants to convince his dad that vidya gaems are alright. Which would probably mean moving out. Otherwise he's just gonna have to well...

deal with it.

This thread is seriously redundant though so I'm done here.

edit:

That's not what he's saying.

probably not, I was just checking.

It does. Your love for your kids doesn't, and nor does your love for them, but that's hardly the same thing as having a parent-child relationship.

The moment my mom 'gave up' on me and treated me as an adult without trying to hone me, improved my relationship with her 100%.

wow just because your parents decided that doesn't mean it's universal.

[Cavernio]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

Pretty sure freedom's supposed to be universal.

[Mollocephalus]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

What a shitty situation. I i agree with cavernio wholeheartedly. Do you really think the same kind of parenting applied when you're 10 can be applied to you when you're 20 - or more? You're completely missing out that parenting changes over time, and it should adapt to the person's age and level of maturity. Oppressive parents who keep telling you the way to do stuff forever are going to make you psychologically dependent, and ultimately helpless when you will finally be on your own. This kind of behavior is toxic and unacceptable in many ways, and shouldn't be justified.

I'm gonna leave a purposely extreme consideration here: maybe there should be an exam to test if you should have kids or not, cause i'm damn sure it would make everyone a favor if some people couldn't have offspring.

[korny]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

When your rules involve what -I- do, when it has no effect whatsoever on how -you- are, those rules are wholly unjustified. We're not talking about household chores.

Why do you keep falling back to the rules being unjustified which we are already in agreement over, and continue to neglect that they are his the rules to freely enforce, justified or not.

[devonin]

Re: Leaving FFR for a while

plz tell me you don't actually think parenting stops when your children become adults

It should evolve into a relationship of equals, where you still grant your parents the respect due their age and experience, and the gratitude you owe them for raising you, but where they still engage with you as a fellow adult.

At that point, 'rules' should be discussed more as preferences and boundaries for the parents since it is their house (not wanting you to have loud parties or blast music at 2am, or having your girlfriend stay overnight when they're there, or not eating the last of the chips or whatever)

At the time I turned 18, my dad basically said to me "Welp, I've done all the raising of you I can. At this point, you either live a good life, or you don't, it's all up to you." and my rules largely vanished.

Due to being the last Ontarians to have OAC and also having a spring birthday, I was still in highschool until I was several months into 19, so I was living at home "as an adult" but not yet in university for quite some time, and believe me, if my dad had still tried to enforce a bed time, or how much time I spent on the computer -without- shooting anything with a gun, it would have been pretty horrible.

"You spend too much time on the computer" is a rule founded out of ignorance of the modern age. I have a full-time job, at which I spend almost all day on the computer, followed by coming home, where I spend most of my time on the computer.

It's where people work, where they play, where they hang out with their friends, where they meet their girlfriends and boyfriends. Given that he's also in school at the moment for a computer-related field, it's absolutely a -bad- rule even if he were 16/17/18. The fact that he's a grown-ass man just makes it worse.

The unemployment rate for the "Recent graduate" demographic when I was a recent graduate was as high as it was for everybody during the Depression. A lot of our generation's parents literally don't understand that "Just go get a job" is laughably close to impossible.