Relationships.

[Arch0wl]

http://www.livejournal.com/users/arch0wl/49121.html

versus

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

[the gist of] IW's ladder is saying, that relationships revolve around sex, money, and power. I disagree that this is not the case every time, and the latter only pertains to a certain extent of people.

Discuss.

[Kilgamayan]

Every relationship is different. There are relationships that revolve around sex, money, and power, there are some that don't.

[tnyhwk900]

Exactly what Kilga said. Some can be so two people can fuck each other every two hours, and others can be for a lifetime of happiness between two people.

[User6773]

Ladder theory only holds true in polygamous environments.
Thus, commit to monogamy, and you won't be privy to crap like that.

Funny how he calls people who abstain from sex until marriage "anachronous" (though outdated should be the term he was looking for) even though they generally lead happier lives than it sounds like he leaves. After all, he's bitter.

Regarding the forum post in Arch's LJ: Love won't work with just everyone. Even if you go through hell together. There HAS to be a personality covalence (in chemistry terms.)

[Tasselfoot]

my take.... the people in the article Arch quoted are ugly and are not getting any ass. they are jealous and are trying to skew things so that they can feel better.

life does revolve around "sex, drugs, and rock and roll"... anyone who says they don't want to be rich is full of sh-t. anyone who says they wouldn't like to bang Jenna Jamison or the Olsen Twins or whoever their favorite fantasy is is just plain lying. IMO, those who say they want to wait until marriage for sex have horribly dated ideals and are out of touch with todays society. personally, i love sex. sex is amazing and gets better the more you partake in it (especially with the same person).

i AM in love. so much so that despite living in NYC and my gf living in LA we've managed to see each other at least once a month for over a year, including spending 3 months together this summer. we lived together in the same bed, under the same roof. we went to work every day. it was a great experience for a time when i am ready for marriage, because i know that i can live with her. we don't fight... any problems we have are discusses and put to rest by rough and passionate sex. when we are together, we have sex at least twice a day, sometimes more... i feel that it has brought us 100x closer. we know every inch of each other, physically and emotionally. because of our intimate lifestyle together we are able to be happy and love each other. she is someone that i most certainly could marry when i am ready.

so... in summary.... i don't completely agree with the ladder, but i almost completely disagree with Arch and his post.... sex most certainly helps solidify love. also, for all of those old fogies who live happily togehter... i betcha they all have kids and grandkids. there is nothing better than pluggin the old lady after returning from slaying nazis (hence the Baby Boomers).

[User6773]

If you love her so much, why won't you marry her?

I see sex as something I would only have with someone willing to make that commitment with me.

[Tasselfoot]

she is someone that i most certainly could marry when i am ready.

i'm 20, and off at college for another 2 years. i feel that i'm not mature enough for marriage, nor ready to make that commitment. we've only known each other and dated for a little over a year. it would be a mistake to rush into it. plus both myself and my gf are more focused on education and getting our careers started than settling down. but certainly in 3-5 years we'll consider it.

and chardish.... its really difficult to make those decisions when you're only 15 (i don't know how old you are, but i do know that the majority of the boards are...). at the same time, when i was 15 i know i wanted to get laid so badly (lost my virginity on my 17th birthday).

[GuidoHunter]

its really difficult to make those decisions when you're only 15 (i don't know how old you are, but i do know that the majority of the boards are...). at the same time, when i was 15 i know i wanted to get laid so badly (lost my virginity on my 17th birthday).

I never intended on losing my virginity until the idea was proposed to me. We had sex, and I've regretted it ever since. We soon realized that we were just stupid sixteen year olds who never thought of the consequences. It ruined our relationship, and while I was proud of it for a little bit, I realize the virtue of abstinence, now that I've actually thought the matter through.
She and I are back together now, and we share a wonderful sex-free relationship. I know both of our stories are purely anecdotal, but whatever. I very much disagree with you, Tassel, and that's pretty much why.

Ugh, I really didn't want to post in this thread...

Oh, and Chardish is, what, 18? He's a freshman in college.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[User6773]

Oh, and Chardish is, what, 18? He's a freshman in college.

+1 smartness points for Guido.

See, it's the fact that marriage is a more difficult commitment to make than sex that is a good thing - for me at least. If I'm off having sex with someone, then I might feel obligated to marry them simply because I have no other choice. Two people might be wonderful lovers but terrible at living under the same roof, dealing with the same problems, working in such close quarters with each other.

I simply want to ensure that the person I'm going to completely surrender myself to is the person I know I'm going to be with the rest of my life. And for me, the only way I see this working is marriage first, sex later (even if it's only a few hours later.)

It's a lot easier to hop into bed with someone than to marry them. And I'll feel a lot happier hopping into bed with someone after I've married them.

[ImEric12]

im wit moogy lol


but seriously, it really does depend on the relationship.
I'm so confused right now, it sucks to be 15. I don't persay want to get laid (can't say I'd turn it down of the opportunity came along, but whatever). I've completely fallen for my friend... and it has nothing to do with sex, money, or power at all. I just love talking to her, and being with her in general. so. I dunno. I guess that makes me pathetic or something.

[CypherToorima]

Tasselfoot, I really don't understand you...You have sex, but don't think you're mature enough for marriage. Pardon my teenage ignorance, but I feel if you are responsible to have sex with someone, shouldn't you feel responsible enough to marry that person.
What if something happens, and she becomes pregnent? I'm sure you don't want to hassle with a kid. and abortion is wrong, so I dunno how that works out.

[VashtheGunman7]

i agree with Cypher that abortion is bad its almost like murder in my point of view

[LostUserName]

Immature people have sex all the time, just watch a talkshow. Im sure you've seen them, 13 yr old girls walking around talking about their latest gangbang. Or some punk 14 yr old boy talking about how many virgins he's "nailed". Sadly enough sex and love do not go hand in hand =-/

[omgwtfToph]

The ladder theory makes me sad. I mean, the fact that you could supposedly psychoanalyze the sexual mind is just kind of depressing :/

On the other hand, when my girlfriend dumped me, she said she'd rather "view me as a friend than a boyfriend." Maybe I was - OMFG - reverse ladder jumping?!

Meh. The whole thing disgusts me more the more I think about it :/

[QreepyBORIS]

"nailed".

The correct term is "nailing love to".