Thinking about suicide

[Rapta]

Re: Thinking about suicide

I'm seeing a psychologist and he has said I should see a psychiatrist but it's been two weeks since my parents said they started looking. Medication feels like the the only hope left.

[Vaeltaja]

Re: Thinking about suicide

Sadly it's sometimes the only hope left.

[dashoe93]

Re: Thinking about suicide

Suicide is not something anyone should do, because the majority of the time, it fails, and when it does, life becomes a hell of a lot worse than it is now. I feel it almost every day, and I've got a few things in mind to be honest, but I don't think I could ever live with consequences if those ever failed. So I'd rather be here in who I am rather than having everyone around me know I've attempted it and am living with a horrible condition that's much more painful than anything I'd ever experience now. I'm an impatient person hoping something good will happen. Whenever something does, just chill and accept it instead of devour it. I've had my fair share of good things that go bad because I got too hopeful and stuff. Just live life. Don't make high standards or expectations, but still have some to look forward to. Bit a ramble, but two cents is some sense.

[_Zenith_]

Re: Thinking about suicide

Rapta, I've read the responses and the OP and I must say, you are too young to consider suicide as an option of escaping reality. You have much ahead of you and much to accomplish and don't consider the negatives in your life greater than the positives because they aren't.

As a person who is slowly killing themselves, heed the advice that others bestowed upon you. You need to find things such as hobbies and other activities that you enjoy, not activities that revolve around negativity and self-deprecation that would lead you to feeling this way.

Please do not feel this way in the future; I hope you have a good road ahead of you and I'm sure you will. Keep talking to professionals and never hold your head down.

[sweet2kill210]

Re: Thinking about suicide

Hey, I know we haven't talked much like others have also said. But I just wanted to say, some of the best advice I've received is to try to stay around positive people because it really helps. I've been there myself like a lot of others also mentioned, but right now this is about you.

It is definitely not easy to keep optimistic when life keeps bringing you down, but hopefully things start looking up for you as they should because it got better for me and others, so who's to say it won't get better for you? Just try to stick around, you'll see! In the meantime, fake it until you make it! (Please note, I am not a professional and therefore my advice may not be the best, thank you).

[L.B.D.D]

Re: Thinking about suicide

play blade and soul
you'll be so busy doing dailies you won't have time for suicide

[choof]

Re: Thinking about suicide

I'm seeing a psychologist and he has said I should see a psychiatrist but it's been two weeks since my parents said they started looking. Medication feels like the the only hope left.

you're still a teenager, correct
medication has the potential to make things worse so if you do get prescribed something and it makes it worse, ask your psychiatrist for new meds immediately

also I would ask your psychiatrist to try something that is not an ssri, or an snri

I've tried a plethora of drugs and the one that's working the best is gabapentin. as opposed to cymbalta, this is a "cleaner" feeling. idk how to describe it exactly but the feeling I get off this is clearer and just overall better than I got from cymbalta

[Azpb Djbread]

Re: Thinking about suicide

Don't do it Man, So many people still care about you.

[Cavernio]

Re: Thinking about suicide

The only reason I'm not dead is because I lack the ability to kill myself.

Once suicide is not an option I started exploring other options. Like accepting that pain is part of reality that you cannot change. Once it's accepted it's easier to manage. Or it's supposed to be. It hurts too much too care it sucks too much to be numb it feels like sometimes.

And it's BS about hurting other people. You're your own person, you're allowed. What you can take though is that other people have felt the way you do, and have survived and have gone on to have many happy experiences in their future. For surely if killing yourself were to cause other people as much unbearable pain as to end their own lives, then there is something not right about our very existence. Life just is. There's no right or wrong of it.

A therapist once told me in an existential discussion that an old celtic (I think) view of life is that we're all trapped in a cave, and if you go outside, a dragon is going to eat you and you die. By adopting such a seemingly heavy view of life you find what really matters to you though. Your values. Do you value justice, truth, respect, love, honor? By having values you can experience pride in yourself when you follow them. This will make you feel good about yourself.

Everything in life is temporary. Knowing this allows you to cherish the good parts and weather the bad ones.

Also weed. but you're still young for that too aren't you? All drugs when you're still maturing until like mid twenties are ify, like choof said.

Antidepressants don't help me through the worst pain. I am trying to find joy in everyday things.

Grief is a natural part of life. It comes with the territory of consciousness.

[AngelPuppy25]

Re: Thinking about suicide

Rapta, you have so many people who care about you.
You still have your whole life ahead of you, we've all had our rough patches and even I have gotten through them.
We all believe in you and love you, even your family.
Do things that get your mind off of everything, whatever makes you happy.
We're all here for you, don't keep it all bottled in, it makes it so much worse.

[Cavernio]

Re: Thinking about suicide

also I would ask your psychiatrist to try something that is not an ssri, or an snri

This is literally like pulling teeth from an unwilling person, my experience.

[Rapta]

Re: Thinking about suicide

Don't do it Man, So many people still care about you.

When I get depressed like I am right now, I lose any feeling of wanting to do anything, go anywhere, or think anything. I just want to sleep and wake up having forgotten the feelings until I eventually remember them again. It's the ones who care who keep pushing me to go get my education and do activities which I have no will to do which ruins the experience which depresses me even more. It's the people who care about me that won't let me just fuck off in my room when I get depressed. I mean my family specifically because everyone else could care less, other than having empathy for a short time, but empathy is only felt when thought of my depression is almost constant and uncontrollable, and if someone actually did genuinely care if I died, they sure didn't want to be around me, or try to help me. In the beginning when I was trying everything I could think of to be happier, I had friends, and one of the things I tried was talking to them in detail about this, when I went to them for help channeling my depression and for advice, they all said they would listen and be there for me but everyone eventually said I need to stop talking to them. Usually it was in the middle of me being depressed and trying to talk to them when they just told me they had enough, so when people said that to me I became more depressed. I was trying to optimistic in the beginning, but I eventually lost all my friends through this. Everyone wants to help but nobody wants to deal with my problems. Even the psychologist is pushing me off to a psychiatrist. What happens if the psychiatrist thinks I am fucked?

[choof]

Re: Thinking about suicide

Even the psychologist is pushing me off to a psychiatrist. What happens if the psychiatrist thinks I am fucked?

the psychologist is "pushing you off to a psychiatrist" because a psychologist does not prescribe medication. psychologists help you determine what it is that's causing depression, how to diagnose you properly, and send you to a psychiatrist when they have a diagnosis. the psychiatrist will determine what medications and therapies will benefit you the greatest.

help is coming.

[Cavernio]

Re: Thinking about suicide

Thinking about suicide is a losing option because as soon as you have that safety net of 'I can end my life whenever I want' you will put up with waaaaaay more BS in your life than you otherwise would have. When suicide is your way out you will stop thinking about other ways out because it is the ultimate way out that is always there. It will lead to a cycle of decisions that will leave you in worse situations in your life leaving you feeling worse making you want to consider suicide more than if you never had truly considered it in the first place.

I just realized this now.

[Izzy]

Re: Thinking about suicide

You can think about suicide as a way to reinforce that it is an option you wouldn't actually want to do. If you seriously considered the pros and cons of such a thing you'd probably realize that the cons are just way too high. It's better than just committing suicide without any serious thought on it.

I don't personally believe there is anything that is entirely off limits to even think about. By thinking about some difficult sensitive issues you can come to some conclusion and possibly become a more mentally stable person.