Re: potential girlfriend

[Tokzic]

Re: potential girlfriend

GO THREE POINT REPLY

How do you actually deal with women? You think, like mythix, that they're all the same and you mechanically do this and that and voila you did it or you need some sort of thoughtful, considerate approach in order to succsessfully interact with them in harmony?

I don't consciously put any effort into my pursuits of people. In fact, I honestly don't give a **** about what anyone thinks of me, or bother pursuing in the first place - in the rare circumstance I'm interested in someone, it's practically obligatory that the chemistry isn't one-sided. However, when at social things, I try to make sure everyone has a good time, which involves being interesting. And I think I have a lot of traits that passively people really respect - I can talk about anything without being awkward, I am extremely trustworthy, I don't begin conflicts with people. The ultimate result is that I get more female attention than is practical, and my life is more dramatic than necessary.

I keep a goddamn blog on FFYa. Why did I start this? Because I hate dumping my life problems on people who are involved in my life, and I endure so many drama shit tsunamis that I need to vent about the goddamn things.

I honestly would like to defend mythix a bit. He maybe intended that due to some societal standards, there are certain thought patterns common to almost all women, which is not false, but it is also true for men.

I agree with this to a small extent.

The only thing is that he wasn't talking about that. He was trying to say OH YEAH GETTING WITH CHICKS IS EASY BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL THE SAME. Which is wrong - everyone is looking for something fairly specific and very differing. Most girls aren't even mildly interested in casual sex. There are common traits that do fit into their thought patterns, but just adhering to the common traits like being dominant and confident isn't going to guarantee you success like Mythix suggests it does.

EDIT: i also wanted to add that looks may have some relevance at first sight, but looks alone mean nothing. the mechanism of phisical attraction is far more complex than that, and if you add the variable of psychological affinity i guess it's just garbage to assume that only people that are equally beautiful can attract each other.

Agree with this completely. Beauty has some weight, but it's ultimately very ineffectual. Some people have their beauty go to their heads. These people value it a lot and think of it as important. These people are also rare. Most people have an idea of what they look like, and do place a small priority on looks, but it's so easy to bend personality for looks that as long as you aren't repulsive, you largely can work with anyone as far as looks go.

[Mythix]

Re: potential girlfriend

Ok I'll make a human post as I usually do, if you check my comment wall and replies back and forth you'll see me discussing in advance of posting which person we were going to flame for no apparent reason. We decided it would be the first person making an offensive post, and trolling from a view that I don't think anyone in the world appreciates was harder than estimated but frigging funny.


Secondly: Depends what you want. Whenever we go out, we have sex just to have sex, because it feels good and it's exciting, no other reason attached. Sex is just sex unless you allow it to be something entirely different, like sex is the ultimate sacrifice and proof of attachment (I can't remember the correct word here) and once you've had sex, you're a couple. Or worse, you can't have it before you are a couple.
Now for religious people or people with cultural boundaries I can understand that sex is taboo, however the majority of Scandinavia isn't religious and we have a pretty open sight on sex. Which is why the most discussed topic is always "why are girls who have alot of sex whores while men who have alot of sex studs", it's only like that if you allow it to be but I won't go into that discussion now, point being girls have alot of sex here too.

Being good enough isn't so hard, as already stated the glue in a successfull relationship are the personalities which will surface at some point regardless of other things. How to get the possibility to show who you really are in a totally unbiased manner is alot harder. Meaning, again, if a girl -knows- you're hitting on her and the only reason you are there is to try to hit on her, it's really, really awkward and hard to get a decent discussion going based on the atmopshere.
If you miracolously pull this off, there's nothing more to discuss really but just because that doesn't work doesn't mean you wouldn't be a good couple, but she wouldn't get to know you by natural affection, since you've skipped that part.

However, being attracted to her without her knowing it will give her a different understanding and evaluation of you when you're together. Admit it's the truth, if you're out with a girl or guy you -know- is fond of you, you react differently to what the person says, because you're afraid to give the wrong impression and whatnot and it's easy to take everything said as an effort to impress you.
Say, you know the girl semi sort of, as in the other example, through the working place. That's a good start, since you probably already have a certain amount of trust and creditability, however it's still hard to get her out. My bible-girl I met at Philadelphia (in Norway, mind you), after my friend Chris "helped" her spill some of her fanta on me. I immediately apologized for consuming her fanta with my shirt, a total Hugh Grant moment, and offered to buy her a new one, because "the least you could do is let me by you a new one" worked for some reason. Afterwards, watching the show in Philly, approaching her about something wasn't hard. I just asked lame questions about the show I really already knew the answer to, but she was there so I figured she were interested. Now I'm not a part of the Philly group, but my grandfather had insisted I went there with my fellow grandchildren to watch the show during xmas some years ago.
After some time, she said they did something she considered silly and explained why, I don't remember the details around it but it had something to do with sacrifice, at this point Chris asked if we knew eachother (he already knew we didn't though but he's a good wing) and I replied she spilled her soda on me and were now stuck having to be nice to me during the entire show.
To which she replied, exactly what we knew she would, something appropriate like "no that's not why I'm nice this is actually pretty funny" or something along those lines as all good and normal persons would.
Then he asked if she wanted to come with us and some other persons from Philly to a christmas theme party afterwards. (With no alchohol yay?) She agreed to it and the next 10 minutes or so we talked about what and who were going there, and she wondered if she could bring friends.
Eventually, Chris said he "had to go" and being my ride for the night I "had to go" too, the show was over so many left some stayed, but Philly isn't a fun place for young people during late hours. So many of the young people left to Unic (a friends) where we met her. Eventually we got cramped infront of a TV watching cartoons pretty much critisizing how dumb it was. Her laying on me with her head talking about having to go even though she wanted to stay since it was so late, me and chris decided to pay a cab to pick up her and her friends and get them home.
I never asked her number, she had saved it onto my phone when I weren't aware. I pretended I didn't notice before she left, but I noticed it about an hour before, also because she had sent herself an sms :]

It's a tuff story, we were together for half a year before her parents wanted her to go to the bible school in Australia, to which I said I wouldn't wait for her to learn God.

That's how I approached a girlfriend, and I've only called two of my girls for that regardless of what they call me or tell me to call them.




To get laid is something completely different, but I guess this thread is about real emotions so it's not relevant. About girls being the same, they are when you're out on discos, dancing. The procedures to end up at eachothers table is pretty much the same, to end up in eachothers beds are just what happends after you go to the same nach, since you have "accepted" eachother already to do that, but the part about feeling obliged to be a couple afterwards is just dumb since it doesn't work out well for either parts and it's way too little planned. I know many people meet like that but I can't picture a happy relationship being based on it. Which is why I'm happily saying that and then just have sex.

EDIT: Holy **** I didn't know it was such a wall of text!

[MrRubix]

Re: potential girlfriend

Honestly, physical looks only go so far for me, but I do think I need to consider someone reasonably attractive in order for me to get serious (but only to the extent that they take care of themselves and value their health / make an effort), but I'm more interested in their personality/mind -- otherwise things aren't very stimulating or fun.

[Mythix]

Re: potential girlfriend

Honestly, physical looks only go so far for me, but I do think I need to consider someone reasonably attractive in order for me to get serious (but only to the extent that they take care of themselves and value their health / make an effort), but I'm more interested in their personality/mind -- otherwise things aren't very stimulating or fun.

Physical looks only helps you to get a easier vantage point to make an impression, the impression itself is based on your personality as is the continuation of a relationship.

[Mythix]

Re: potential girlfriend

K I see some of you are still writing but I g2g cya in 8h. Stupid work. Stupid human having to pay for a place to live and food to eat.

also in b4 accused of ruining myzz thread. Ask me if myzz is one of the persons I pm'ed before waring.

[Paqrat]

Re: potential girlfriend

Guys are so difficult to read >_>
Well I'm only young, but I hear it from everywhere, so I guess that statement is valid for a lifetime haha.
I try to think of every man being different by having their own attitudes, values and beliefs.. But there are some patterns that are evident (which are not coming to mind, damnit).



Kind of similar situation for me, minus the lack of social interaction and not yet having my first kiss, etc.
I've had this 'thing' with a guy at work for almost 8 months now. It was obvious to everyone that we were more than friends, but were not quite dating. Our manager even teases us, it's pretty sad haha. But yeah, he's flirted very openly, but has never had the balls to do anything. So it's left me confused, thinking:
1/ Maybe he's just the flirty-womaniser type (though I know he isn't, because he's like a major nerd with very little social life LOL I have weird taste)
2/ He's to shy to ask me and is waiting for me to ask him out
3/ He's waiting for a better opportunity.
It's so goddamn frustrating, so now I'm ignoring him and suddenly he's attached to my hip (:
Hah. Moral: idk

Eh true.
But also a lot of girls mistake "good guys" for what the real guys know as players and assholes, like Mythix, never sees a relationship as a lasting thing, just as something to be tolerated or to be exploited for personal benefit.
If someome doesn't flirt around with every corpse he sees theres a big chance he's just a regular guy thats fond of you.
I've had the same experience at work, except I was doing the flirting--it was kind of like... watching a drunk gundark trying to mate with a human and then decides to eat and butcher the human.
rofl. Ah.... What a twisted tail we-weave.

[Paqrat]

Re: potential girlfriend

*sigh* Everyone seems so perverted, who even cares?

[Paqrat]

Re: potential girlfriend

everyone's nervous when doing something for the first time, especially if this implies self esteem and social consideration. why abide to some nonsense social standard when it comes to these situations? it doesn't matter who makes the first move. it matters in nature, where either the female or the male will try to seduce the other gender with different signals. what is often overstated in the natural world's courtship ritual is health, strenght, fertility, capacity to keep the progeny. whereas in the animal world it is already predetermined which gender does which, this doesn't apply in the human world. many of our istincts are result of our culture and environment. by knowing this, we can proceed to ignore those and destructure our psychological automations.

What the freakin crap? What kind of drugs are you on? Just because its the norm to date and marry at the age of 18 and get a divorce by the age of 30 doesn't mean we should do it just because our best friend just got married at the age of 19.
Last time I based my relationship on looks has been never, sure I flirt with cute women, but I don't date em just because of the size of their tits. God thats like saying first and foremost your penis comes before your heart, if thats the case whats the point?
If all your looking for is to pump your seed into a female doesn't mean your going to be in a happy relationship.
Everyone describes humans as beasts, human nature. How can there be nature in a human being that can make choices and govern for himself what to eat and what to drink?
An animal doesn't choose what it wants, it sees food and it eats.

A man sees a woman but he doesn't molest her because of the size of her friggin breasts or her physique.
I seriously hate when people say that we're just animals looking for the next person to ride into the sun and impregnate, not all freakin males are only interested in only one thing.

**EDIT
And no I don't mean this in general just towards you MOLLO, your post makes sense, but jeez no thank you.

[Choofers]

Re: potential girlfriend

not gonna offend you or anything but "i was brought up like this" or "i came out like this because of the environment i've lived in" isn't a legitimate reason to do anything. my request is more about explaining your thought processes on the matter via reasoning.

doing something just because it feels right means nothing. you can feel right about raping a cobra, and we all know how well it's gonna go.

I don't think it's worth it being anything BUT respectful to women. It just doesn't suit me.

[Paqrat]

Re: potential girlfriend

Ah true.

[rqm]

Re: potential girlfriend

more like beauty has no weight

my dad always told me beauty is always only a lightswitch away.

[Mythix]

Re: potential girlfriend

This is a man


It is

edit: miss transvestite 2005

[Choofers]

Re: potential girlfriend

Her penis must be really really tight in that.

[Paqrat]

Re: potential girlfriend

oh my god..... thats.... nasty...

[Izzy]

Re: potential girlfriend

Good looking man.