Jokes

[Anticrombie0909]

I'm intrigued that nobody's made this topic yet...well, self explanatory, just tell your favorite jokes. Here's some:

Once a blonde walked into a bar and sat next to a redhead. The redhead was watching a news story about a person who was going to jump off a building. "20 bucks says she jumps," says the redhead. "You're on." Said the blonde. Twelve and a half seconds later the person leaps to their death and splatters on the sidewalk below. Shaken, the blonde pulls a $20 bill out of her pocket and gets up to leave. The redhead looks at the bill and says, "I'm sorry hon, I can't take your money. I saw this show on the 5 O'clock news already." And the blonde goes, "So did I, but I didn't think she was going to do it again!"

And my personal favorite...

Bush choked on a pretzel! ROFLDEPOFLDEROLOLPOORLODLROLEO!!!11!!11@12!!!`2!!!!?!!!-9!!milkandcookies!1

[tristia]

hey ya see that cemetary over there? :oints at cemetary::... People are dying to get in there.

that gets me every time.

[lightdarkness]

A: what do you call it when someone from lower managment moves up to uppermanagment
B: i dont know
A: a promotion
B: oh, thanks... heres a memo

[VxDx]

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

[Privateer]

Every one of these jokes is horrible.

[Anticrombie0909]

Privateer's got a point, these jokes suck. As long as we're telling crap jokes, how's this one:

What did one muffin say to the other muffin when it said "wow, it's hot in here?" "OMG a talkin muffin!"

I hate that joke.

[Musical_Master]

Why did the bike fall over..

It had no legs. HAHAHAHAHAHA

[Musical_Master]

It went something like that....Oh well

[chillywilly]

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

pure genious

[Jello]

Ok ...

cinderella had to go to the ball , but she was on her period , she didnt have any tampons or pads. she didnt know what to do. the only thing she could think of was to call her fairy god mother..
"fairy god mother! fairy god mother! i need you so!"
POOF her fairy god mother appears and says
"yes cinderella what is the emergency?"
"Im on my period and i need to go to the ball! but i am out of tampons and pads.. what shall i do?" she responds
"here" says the fairy " take this magic tampon.. but i warn you.. at the stroke of 12 midnight it will turn into a pumpkin... so you must remove it before then"
cinderella goes to the ball.. she finally walks through the door at 3 am and her fairy god mother was waiting for her anxiously..
"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN MISSY????!?!?!?!"
"WHAT HAPPENED AT 12??"
cinderella responds..
"Oh.. about that"
"My date to the prom was peter peter pumkin eater"


BWAHAHA AAHAHAHA.. i love that joke.. hope u enjoyed

[jewpinthethird]

Bahaha...ew.

[flipmaster99]

*WARNING* May not be suitable for all viewers *WARNING*






A bear and a rabbit are taking a sh*t in the woods.
The bear says to the rabbit... "Excuse me rabbit, do you have problems with sh*t sticking to your fur?"...
"Why no" says the rabbit.
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

[Anticrombie0909]

Rofl^

Anyway, that reminds me of one that's actually funny...once upon a time there was a bear and a rabbit walking through the woods when they come across a magical toad. The toad tells them "you can each have 3 wishes each."

So the bear says, "I wish that all other bears in this forest were females." The rabbit says, "I wish I had a Ferarri." "Done," says the toad, and with a poof their wish was granted.

Then the bear says, "Actually, I wish that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well." The rabbit says "I want a huge mansion." And they get their wish.

"Now,this is your last wish, so choose carefully." Says the toad. "Know what?" Said the bear. "I wish that all of the bears in the entire WORLD were females!" The rabbit puts on a sly smile, and for his last wish tells the toad

"I wish the bear was gay."

[hydrojakep]

Rofl^

Anyway, that reminds me of one that's actually funny...once upon a time there was a bear and a rabbit walking through the woods when they come across a magical toad. The toad tells them "you can each have 3 wishes each."

So the bear says, "I wish that all other bears in this forest were females." The rabbit says, "I wish I had a Ferarri." "Done," says the toad, and with a poof their wish was granted.

Then the bear says, "Actually, I wish that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well." The rabbit says "I want a huge mansion." And they get their wish.

"Now,this is your last wish, so choose carefully." Says the toad. "Know what?" Said the bear. "I wish that all of the bears in the entire WORLD were females!" The rabbit puts on a sly smile, and for his last wish tells the toad

"I wish the bear was gay."

CRAP CRAP CRAP.

i was gonna post that one.

[ZEROED]

why did the bike fall over?
it was two tired. HAHAHAH!