Ok so you're going to hear a lot of things in here that sounds like whining, and it is, but I want to make it clear that I'm not looking for sympathy but rather help with a specific question that I'll get to in time. Also, I'm not creating this thread to start a bunch of whining from every kid that's had similar situations. However, I can't control your posts, so do what you will, but don't expect me to care.
Anyway...
So my parents got divorced more or less immediately after I moved out to college. The straw that broke the camel's back was my father sleeping with some bimbo half his age, but the marriage was failing anyway as they're both the type of people that need to make the decisions and can't handle other people taking issue with the decisions they make. I've been kind of distant from my family since then. I wasn't there when the **** hit the fan so I feel like I'm kind of isolated from them.
After a short while, my mother started dating this guy. I don't like this ****** at all. Seriously, the first time we met, he shook my hand and twirled down the hallway. But I suppose he's just effeminate, as he is banging my mom. I'm not really sure why I don't like him. I tell myself it's some sort of mixture between, "he's not my father," and, "we're tremendously different people," but I always reach these conclusions due to overanalytical rationalizing, so I don't know how valuable or accurate these conclusions are.
Anyway so why I bring this up is because for my vacation I was down in Miami for my cousin's wedding. It was an amazing reception and I ended up partying with a ton of bridesmaids later. It was fun. At some point around 11 I got a text message from my mother reading simply: "We are engaged." I couldn't even tell you what I felt. I could only describe my initial reaction as indifference. However, I think I only feel indifferent because I've learned to suppress my general hatred for this guy so I don't upset my mother. I certainly didn't feel happy for her, which kind of makes me feel like a prick. Part of me just thinks I have been having coping issues with the divorce and as long as I didn't get a step-father, my mother was the same person she was before the divorce. I don't want a ****ing step-dad. Perhaps it is some moral selfishness on my part. Like I feel that I can separate myself from the "riff-raff" that have step-parents. I'm not trying to insult people here, but I guess I think like that sometimes.
When friends of mine or random kids looking for advice come to me for help in these types of situations, I usually just give the old adage of, "You can't get upset over the things you can't change." As aware of this as I am, it doesn't make me feel any better. I don't want to be an ass and I want to be happy for my mother. What do you think can be done to assuage this general depression, anger, and indifference? I don't think I can "learn to like" this guy. I naturally can't confront either my mother or the prick about it either because my mother would never speak to me again (no, really).
Anyway, mostly I just wanted to write this out as writing is theraputic in some sense for me.
Merry Chistmas. =/
Anyway...
So my parents got divorced more or less immediately after I moved out to college. The straw that broke the camel's back was my father sleeping with some bimbo half his age, but the marriage was failing anyway as they're both the type of people that need to make the decisions and can't handle other people taking issue with the decisions they make. I've been kind of distant from my family since then. I wasn't there when the **** hit the fan so I feel like I'm kind of isolated from them.
After a short while, my mother started dating this guy. I don't like this ****** at all. Seriously, the first time we met, he shook my hand and twirled down the hallway. But I suppose he's just effeminate, as he is banging my mom. I'm not really sure why I don't like him. I tell myself it's some sort of mixture between, "he's not my father," and, "we're tremendously different people," but I always reach these conclusions due to overanalytical rationalizing, so I don't know how valuable or accurate these conclusions are.
Anyway so why I bring this up is because for my vacation I was down in Miami for my cousin's wedding. It was an amazing reception and I ended up partying with a ton of bridesmaids later. It was fun. At some point around 11 I got a text message from my mother reading simply: "We are engaged." I couldn't even tell you what I felt. I could only describe my initial reaction as indifference. However, I think I only feel indifferent because I've learned to suppress my general hatred for this guy so I don't upset my mother. I certainly didn't feel happy for her, which kind of makes me feel like a prick. Part of me just thinks I have been having coping issues with the divorce and as long as I didn't get a step-father, my mother was the same person she was before the divorce. I don't want a ****ing step-dad. Perhaps it is some moral selfishness on my part. Like I feel that I can separate myself from the "riff-raff" that have step-parents. I'm not trying to insult people here, but I guess I think like that sometimes.
When friends of mine or random kids looking for advice come to me for help in these types of situations, I usually just give the old adage of, "You can't get upset over the things you can't change." As aware of this as I am, it doesn't make me feel any better. I don't want to be an ass and I want to be happy for my mother. What do you think can be done to assuage this general depression, anger, and indifference? I don't think I can "learn to like" this guy. I naturally can't confront either my mother or the prick about it either because my mother would never speak to me again (no, really).
Anyway, mostly I just wanted to write this out as writing is theraputic in some sense for me.
Merry Chistmas. =/
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