smiles

[AiRlocked]

im really happy cause my poem was selected to be published in a book and now i get to go to D.C. to read it

Nevermore
One is love
One is death
One is above
One is left

Can't believe
We are done
Can't believe
You are gone

You me us we
Nevermore

Here we go
Go again
There they go
One the same

Two is one
One is two
Being here
Without you

You me us we
Nevermore

i just about had a heart attack i didnt even think i wrote good but i already started on a book about vamps and im only 14 so yay

[AiRlocked]

RE: Re: smiles

shut up i dont white good and dont get me started on you about BT

[ToshX]

RE: Re: RE: Re: smiles

dj you're starting to be an asshole about his lame spelling :/
---
It didn't really make that much sense(just something about a few people), or sound that good in some parts.

[ToshX]

RE: Re: RE: Re: smiles

Yeah I know, but proving someone wrong twice in a row... Anyway, I don't know what the BT thing is about, I don't even know him unless it stands for something.

[ananana]

RE: Re: RE: Re: smiles

I have a couple BT songs.

AiRlocked, you shouldn't be so full of yourself.
I personally thought your little poem was stupid and unoriginal.

I would like to know about the book it's being published in though.

[Spazzbite]

RE: Re: RE: Re: smiles

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This is by far the most unoriginal poem that I've ever read. It basically took clippings from a bunch of emo poems and mashed them all into one. I also noticed your double cliche by turning around and wring a book about Vampires of all things. Try something original, you'll thank me later.

[ckj846]

RE: Re: RE: Re: smiles

Unoriginal and sorta boring. The constant cliches made the poem boring and stupid. I don't think you should have been picked for a book or anything. Maybe they just felt sorry for you...
O_o

[jewpinthethird]

RE: Re: RE: Re: smiles

I agree with Spazz on this one. Except for the emo part.

It does appear that your poem is just a bunch of borrowed lines from more popular poems. One thing that really stands out is the word "Nevermore." Now, obviously, Poe doesnt own the word, but he did make the word popular with his poem "the Raven."

I'm not saying borrowing ideas from other writters is a bad idea. It just doesnt make you seem original, and ultimately, you will never be known for your work. You have to find your own voice and do things nobody else has if you ever want to become successful.

[esupin]

RE: Re: RE: Re: smiles

You get to go to DC to read it? To whom will it be read to? An audience?

[FishFishRevolution]

Re: smiles

Eleventeen

One is love
Another is death
One is above
My name is Seth.

Can't believe
You are gone.
I see you now
Dead on my lawn.

You me us we
Nevermore
Eleventeen

There they go
Vultrues again
There they go
One the same

Two is one
One is two
All my base
Are belong to you

You me us we
Nevermore
Eleventeen


Fix'd

[Mindfields]

Re: smiles

Eleventeen

One is love
Another is death
One is above
My name is Seth.

Can't believe
You are gone.
I see you now
Dead on my lawn.

You me us we
Nevermore
Eleventeen

There they go
Vultrues again
There they go
One the same

Two is one
One is two
All my base
Are belong to you

You me us we
Nevermore
Eleventeen


Fix'd

That was pure genious. Thank you.
As for the original, it sucked. But not all the way. So I went with maybe.

[NightSonnett]

**applauds Fish Fish**

Loved it!

[hydrojakep]

All my base
Are belong to you


rofl

[Britischer_Amerikaner]

so what if ur writing a book and ur only 14. im writing a 300+ page book on drills and tips for baseball and im only 16 (17 on June 21st).

[jewpinthethird]

so wahts if ur writing a book and ur only 14. im writing a 300+ page book on drills and tips for baseball and im only 16 (17 on June 21st).

I feel so sorry for whoever has to edit your "book."

Writing fiction is entirely different from writting "drills and tips" by the way.

AND why did you register another account british_bmx?