cry for help

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  • XelNya
    [Nobody liked that.]
    FFR Simfile Author
    • Sep 2012
    • 3368

    #31
    Re: cry for help

    TWG lets you play if you're banned on an alt as long as it happened during the game I think is the rule.
    Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun beep

    Comment

    • Funnygurl555
      T-Force's Rival
      • Dec 2010
      • 1865

      #32
      Re: cry for help

      ya learn new stuff everyday
      Originally posted by MixMasterLar
      is funny eaman?
      Can you like not use those stupid names right now? Took me long enough to get these screen names straight in my head
      Originally posted by the sun fan
      GET DUNKED FUNNY
      (eaman is her name irl, friend)

      Comment

      • Svaz
        quite clever
        • Oct 2008
        • 792

        #33
        Re: cry for help

        IDK your precise context, but I do know my own with alcohol, I can at least speak to that much. I’ve never properly addressed my mental state in a clinical context outside of getting diagnoses off the books (you sure can get away with this shit working medically I suppose) so unfortunately no good insights there.

        I try to set up really specific contexts for when I drink and limit how much I have around the house (generally effective as I feel awkward when people at the VAbc know my face). One big thing I do is always ensure I only drink in a social context — if I drink alone it’s more liable to get out of control and go to some dark places, not to mention the sleep is never good just because of how alcohol metabolizes. I’m not always perfect about this — lately I’ve had virtually no social life and people I can drink with so I’ve been just boozing some weekends with friends over discord (and OK yes this is why I spilled beer all over my laptop and have no computer outside of mobile right now. I’m stupid lol)

        I think the last bit is important because of one thing, people you know over the internet count as real people and real friends so think of them/us that way. You’ve always got a whole ass community filled with people that genuinely give a shit about and even empathize with you where other people you might know through other means just don’t get as vulnerable or as open with you for whatever social standards they operate on. We’re always here for you and each other dude

        I will probably never experience the pressure of being an immigrant properly (I’ve only been an occasional stranger in a foreign country) but I know there are definitely other people here who’ve lived that path too. One other thing, in my experience setting up goals for yourself is great but the good feeling from achievement dissipates when I start comparing myself to the external successes of others, perhaps this is some basic bitch shit, but comparision really is the thief of joy and can get you feeling shitty in no time.

        Also I don’t think you should feel silly or awkward or embarrassed over a thread like this, I mean I’ve made similar posts myself so who would I be to judge? I think the beauty of something like this is that it allows you to express yourself more directly than you would in another social context and it’s important you’re still willing to rather than giving in to the passive and active death wishes. Fwiw I’ve given serious thought into barreling my car and body into the underside of an overpass more times than I can count, but the will to fight that impulse is tantamount.

        What helped me assuage stuff like that a little more is reflecting or even journaling shit that made the day worth it, even if it’s not expressly happiness because you might not find that right away each day, some days you might not find it at all. I think you managed to do that even here already a little bit, from gratitude towards other posters to even mentioning Jess. Granted I’m not at the point where it’s totally gone, maybe that time will never come, but I can peacefully resolve it a little better rather than trying to drown it out and probably puking and crying after.

        Life is ducking bullshit and I think pretty much everyone here can empathize with that on some level. It might make her cry but leveling with your mom on how you’re feeling might be worth it, it sounds at least like she’s coming from a place of concern and love.

        One last note, you could try working some of this real shit into your routine, it can make some great material, Marie Bamford is a good example of that imo

        Comment

        • Antori
          FFR Veteran
          • Aug 2018
          • 296

          #34
          Re: cry for help

          i love you funnygurl even if you roll wolf
          "humans are allergic to happiness" -exurb1a
          "the only successful prank is the one you just dont f***ing pull" - penguinz0
          "Happiness is an unachievable myth peddled by those too afraid to admit that the world's default state is misery" - exurb1a

          Comment

          • inDheart
            Picker @ JAX2
            FFR Simfile Author
            • Aug 2011
            • 505

            #35
            Re: cry for help

            Originally posted by XelNya
            TWG lets you play if you're banned on an alt as long as it happened during the game I think is the rule.
            2 caveats:
            - temp ban
            - even then it's host discretion

            but ya

            Comment

            • Xiz
              TWG Chaos
              FFR Simfile Author
              • Feb 2012
              • 3399

              #36
              Re: cry for help

              I feel like in this day in age, getting an infraction/banned on FFR is a right of passage.

              You are never, ever alone.

              Also, I've found for me doing something creatively helps express how I feel. By channeling those feelings into something creative helps fuel my passion I have found. Channel some of that into new material?

              You opening up and talking about it speaks volumes.

              You are strong funnygurl. I believe in you.

              Comment

              • rayword45
                Local Teenage Wastebasket
                FFR Simfile Author
                • Feb 2007
                • 3212

                #37
                Re: cry for help

                Originally posted by Xiz
                I feel like in this day in age, getting an infraction/banned on FFR is a right of passage.
                i survived 3.5 years of being underage but got banned for calling some magachud a cuck a few months back
                The above post has a 50% chance of being useless. Potentially. Maybe.

                BEST AAAs: WANDERLUST, Pandora, Necropotence, Mourning The Lost, Eradication, Feldschlacht

                Hey, we need some users on this site. Please join.

                And if you have not recommended any albums yet, do so. Please. I have a goal to reach. Here.
                NO WAIT THAT SHIT'S OLD GO HERE INSTEAD.

                Comment

                • Funnygurl555
                  T-Force's Rival
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 1865

                  #38
                  Re: cry for help

                  Originally posted by Svaz
                  I try to set up really specific contexts for when I drink and limit how much I have around the house (generally effective as I feel awkward when people at the VAbc know my face). One big thing I do is always ensure I only drink in a social context — if I drink alone it’s more liable to get out of control and go to some dark places, not to mention the sleep is never good just because of how alcohol metabolizes. I’m not always perfect about this — lately I’ve had virtually no social life and people I can drink with so I’ve been just boozing some weekends with friends over discord (and OK yes this is why I spilled beer all over my laptop and have no computer outside of mobile right now. I’m stupid lol)
                  yeah i should probably stop drinking alone. i dont have a social life here though, so that would mean virtually not drinking lol. back when i did, i never drank alone (well, i did like once or twice i think when i was in college).

                  i also spilled booze on my laptop before too and had to get it fixed and it hurt my soul. fortunately it didn't cost too much though

                  I think the last bit is important because of one thing, people you know over the internet count as real people and real friends so think of them/us that way. You’ve always got a whole ass community filled with people that genuinely give a shit about and even empathize with you where other people you might know through other means just don’t get as vulnerable or as open with you for whatever social standards they operate on. We’re always here for you and each other dude
                  i do think of online people as real friends it's allowed me to meet some cool people. i'm still in touch with some old friends that i met online over 9 years ago

                  One other thing, in my experience setting up goals for yourself is great but the good feeling from achievement dissipates when I start comparing myself to the external successes of others, perhaps this is some basic bitch shit, but comparision really is the thief of joy and can get you feeling shitty in no time.
                  on the one hand, i know this? but it's also so hard not to compare myself to other people T-T and that's always gonna be a losing battle 'cause my peers are insane

                  Also I don’t think you should feel silly or awkward or embarrassed over a thread like this, I mean I’ve made similar posts myself so who would I be to judge? I think the beauty of something like this is that it allows you to express yourself more directly than you would in another social context and it’s important you’re still willing to rather than giving in to the passive and active death wishes. Fwiw I’ve given serious thought into barreling my car and body into the underside of an overpass more times than I can count, but the will to fight that impulse is tantamount.

                  What helped me assuage stuff like that a little more is reflecting or even journaling shit that made the day worth it, even if it’s not expressly happiness because you might not find that right away each day, some days you might not find it at all. I think you managed to do that even here already a little bit, from gratitude towards other posters to even mentioning Jess. Granted I’m not at the point where it’s totally gone, maybe that time will never come, but I can peacefully resolve it a little better rather than trying to drown it out and probably puking and crying after.
                  i've stopped feeling awkward about making this thread haha. at first i really was though. y'alls support makes me feel a lot less alone, so thank you <3

                  i'll try the journaling thing

                  Life is ducking bullshit and I think pretty much everyone here can empathize with that on some level. It might make her cry but leveling with your mom on how you’re feeling might be worth it, it sounds at least like she’s coming from a place of concern and love.
                  i'll talk to her in time, but i don't want to now. i'm mad at her for saying what she did even though i get why. she's probably still mad at me too

                  One last note, you could try working some of this real shit into your routine, it can make some great material, Marie Bamford is a good example of that imo
                  noted, and i'll check her out!

                  Originally posted by Antori
                  i love you funnygurl even if you roll wolf
                  antori

                  Originally posted by Xiz
                  I feel like in this day in age, getting an infraction/banned on FFR is a right of passage.

                  You are never, ever alone.

                  Also, I've found for me doing something creatively helps express how I feel. By channeling those feelings into something creative helps fuel my passion I have found. Channel some of that into new material?

                  You opening up and talking about it speaks volumes.

                  You are strong funnygurl. I believe in you.
                  thanks xiz!!

                  and noted about channeling feelings into material

                  Originally posted by rayword45
                  but got banned for calling some magachud a cuck a few months back
                  that was hilarious to read
                  Last edited by Funnygurl555; 03-7-2019, 09:00 PM.
                  Originally posted by MixMasterLar
                  is funny eaman?
                  Can you like not use those stupid names right now? Took me long enough to get these screen names straight in my head
                  Originally posted by the sun fan
                  GET DUNKED FUNNY
                  (eaman is her name irl, friend)

                  Comment

                  • Funnygurl555
                    T-Force's Rival
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 1865

                    #39
                    Re: cry for help

                    i got discharged today after a week of being in a psych ward, so i'm bumping this thread. i wrote a journal while i was there, which is long, but yeah, if you're interested. all the names of people who were in the ward with me (including staff) were altered

                    link

                    i'm going home on wednesday. can't really handle being on my own.
                    Originally posted by MixMasterLar
                    is funny eaman?
                    Can you like not use those stupid names right now? Took me long enough to get these screen names straight in my head
                    Originally posted by the sun fan
                    GET DUNKED FUNNY
                    (eaman is her name irl, friend)

                    Comment

                    • XelNya
                      [Nobody liked that.]
                      FFR Simfile Author
                      • Sep 2012
                      • 3368

                      #40
                      Re: cry for help

                      Originally posted by Funnygurl555
                      i got discharged today after a week of being in a psych ward, so i'm bumping this thread. i wrote a journal while i was there, which is long, but yeah, if you're interested. all the names of people who were in the ward with me (including staff) were altered

                      link

                      i'm going home on wednesday. can't really handle being on my own.
                      That was a rough read. Glad to see you sought some professional help as your choice though.
                      Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun beep

                      Comment

                      • MixMasterLar
                        Beach Bum Extraordinaire
                        FFR Simfile Author
                        • Aug 2006
                        • 5224

                        #41
                        Re: cry for help

                        I don't think I even saw this thread yo

                        I can def relate to some of this, and I'm glad you are seeking help. I believe 100% that if you look for help you re already on the upswing.

                        Facebook / Youtube / Twitter

                        .

                        Comment

                        • Funnygurl555
                          T-Force's Rival
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 1865

                          #42
                          Re: cry for help

                          thanks guys

                          edit: i just checked my discharge papers, and i have high cholesterol.............. im 22 .............. ah well, i'ma be healthily eating at home, so hopefully this goes away. my blood pressure's pretty healthy/kinda low though so there's that at least.
                          Last edited by Funnygurl555; 03-25-2019, 10:05 PM.
                          Originally posted by MixMasterLar
                          is funny eaman?
                          Can you like not use those stupid names right now? Took me long enough to get these screen names straight in my head
                          Originally posted by the sun fan
                          GET DUNKED FUNNY
                          (eaman is her name irl, friend)

                          Comment

                          • Svaz
                            quite clever
                            • Oct 2008
                            • 792

                            #43
                            Re: cry for help

                            Reading your entries made me inevitably think back a lot to my time working in a psych ward -- usually I'd read the patients journals and transcribe them into our system and I had a similar experience of really wanting to do something like that long term myself -- it's nice to be able to help people, and I think when you can truly empathise with people from your own experiences it really helps the situation. I did feel kind of concerned at points over your sleeping and med situations but I'm glad they gave you something that at the very least doesn't have any debilitating side effects.

                            Even just working there I got a lot of good methods for my own life stresses and situations, and being able to put a term to the weird aggressions people inflict on each other imo is useful for knowing how to identify and work against or away from it.

                            What do you think you'll do when you're around your brother again though? I guess that's what concerns me the most about the whole thing, I'm really glad to hear you're okay right now at least.

                            Comment

                            • Funnygurl555
                              T-Force's Rival
                              • Dec 2010
                              • 1865

                              #44
                              Re: cry for help

                              What do you think you'll do when you're around your brother again though? I guess that's what concerns me the most about the whole thing, I'm really glad to hear you're okay right now at least.
                              The therapists-- and everyone I've mentioned this to really-- were worried about that too. My fam seems insistent that it'll never happen again though, and they told me that if I notice anything off they'll kick him out.

                              But also when I told my sis I'd call the cops on him if he did it again, she was still hesitant about me doing that.

                              edit: ironically i'm not sleeping now but gossip girl hhhhhhheeeeeeeeehhhhhhh

                              also the thing i want most is to be home now i miss my parents
                              Last edited by Funnygurl555; 03-26-2019, 04:51 AM.
                              Originally posted by MixMasterLar
                              is funny eaman?
                              Can you like not use those stupid names right now? Took me long enough to get these screen names straight in my head
                              Originally posted by the sun fan
                              GET DUNKED FUNNY
                              (eaman is her name irl, friend)

                              Comment

                              • Funnygurl555
                                T-Force's Rival
                                • Dec 2010
                                • 1865

                                #45
                                Re: cry for help

                                so i get that saying mean shit like that's your thing, but jesus christ man

                                but that's the first time i got my cholesterol checked. idk if stress would affect readings so much though; if anything, my cholesterol's not good
                                Originally posted by MixMasterLar
                                is funny eaman?
                                Can you like not use those stupid names right now? Took me long enough to get these screen names straight in my head
                                Originally posted by the sun fan
                                GET DUNKED FUNNY
                                (eaman is her name irl, friend)

                                Comment

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