Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

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  • QueenAshy
    Banned
    • Sep 2017
    • 606

    #1

    Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

    So… I really love my girlfriend, she’s an amazing person to be around (except her being a casual gamer, that part of her can go to hell). She’s been over for a week, and though she’s leaving today, I really will miss her, she’s definitely a pleasure to be around. We’ve mostly been playing Skyrim and Spore (I will return to my regular stream schedule in a bit), but we’ve still been having lots of fun.

    There’s just one thing tho… she kinda isn’t very feminine. Like, when I first met her, she was a sissy, but after multiple discussions we’ve had, we can both agree that she’s trans. She’s had very similar thoughts that I had, and I believe that her crossdressing desires, combined with the fact that she wants to be a “lesbian couple” (her own words), is a pretty good indicator. Now, we both could very well be wrong, but for now, I think we can both agree on one thing.

    The thing is, she grows facial hair SUPER FAST. Like, she shaved an hour before she came over, by the next day, I was seeing clearly defined hairs. For contrast, I need to shave once every 5 days (on average) before it starts becoming visible to the average person.

    I’ve been having a bit of problem with her tho, and it’s a personal one that I can’t seem to shake. I’m having trouble with her appearence. It’s not that I’m bodyshaming or that I don’t like her, just with me being a lesbian and all, it’s really hard for me to date someone that’s so masculine. Like, her figure, body odor, and almost everything else is almost entirely male; with the obvious exception of her personality. I’ve talked to her about this issue, and she is holding off transition till she moves out of her parents’ house. Even though her parents would be more than accepting, she still wants to move for whatever reason. The thing is, I feel like it won’t happen for a long time, we’re both in a similar boat: no college education, little work experience, and lackluster high school grades. She’s applied to over 2000 jobs, and she’s been denied. Compound that with the fact that neither of us have a car, and it makes for a really bad situation.

    I don’t know how to handle this appearence problem, it irks me and makes me quite uncomfortable (given my past), and it’s probably not gonna change for a while… I’m not entirely sure how to deal with this, as I’ve never fallen in love in this sort of situation before…
  • Mahou
    魔法少女
    • Jan 2006
    • 2153

    #2
    Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

    Move on
    Originally posted by lofty rhino
    one does not simply hate everyone that plays stepmania
    AND watch anime.

    Comment

    • QueenAshy
      Banned
      • Sep 2017
      • 606

      #3
      Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

      Originally posted by Mahou
      Move on
      Huh?

      Comment

      • xXOpkillerXx
        Forever OP
        FFR Simfile Author
        • Dec 2008
        • 4207

        #4
        Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

        Mfw male-to-female pre-op trans dating a male girlfriend identifying as sissy who wants to transition to female in the future has trouble with her girlfriend's masculine appearance.

        Seriously, just date a real girl if you can't even be patient enough for your "girlfriend" to transition.

        Comment

        • 123kappa3
          FFR Veteran
          • Nov 2016
          • 69

          #5
          Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

          If you need someone to change to feel comfortable around them or if you are unwilling to wait till they change so you can be comfortable around them why are you "falling in love with them".

          Usually when i see someone who loves someone they love all of them and are usually comfortable around them.

          if you do really like this person try to focus on why you like them and not why you dislike them.
          Last edited by 123kappa3; 10-17-2018, 02:48 PM.

          Comment

          • QueenAshy
            Banned
            • Sep 2017
            • 606

            #6
            Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

            Originally posted by xXOpkillerXx
            Mfw male-to-female pre-op trans dating a male girlfriend identifying as sissy who wants to transition to female in the future has trouble with her girlfriend's masculine appearance.

            Seriously, just date a real girl if you can't even be patient enough for your "girlfriend" to transition.
            “Real girl” is very offensive terminology as it basically states that trans women are not and can never be “real women.” Not to mention that cis female is a much easier descriptor that gets across your point in a much easier way to understand.

            Also, “male girlfriend” is an oxymoron.

            And it’s not just as easy as “just date a real girl” it takes EFFORT and LUCK to find the right one. I haven’t had a lasting relationship with legitimate love that isn’t based off sex in more than 4 years. And even then, my last relationship didn’t even last that long cause I used to be one of those Nice Guy™️ types who had no social skills.

            It’s not as easy as it sounds. Sure, I can find a girl on tinder to bang within a week, but it’ll just leave me feeling empty, and likely won’t lead to a relationship.

            Something tells me you’ve never been in a relationship before…

            Comment

            • Wayward Vagabond
              Confirmed Heartbreaker
              FFR Simfile Author
              • Jul 2012
              • 5866

              #7
              Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

              Sounds like you can't be in the relationship until she changes how she looks

              Comment

              • Antori
                FFR Veteran
                • Aug 2018
                • 296

                #8
                Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

                *snap* this is going in my cringe compilation
                "humans are allergic to happiness" -exurb1a
                "the only successful prank is the one you just dont f***ing pull" - penguinz0
                "Happiness is an unachievable myth peddled by those too afraid to admit that the world's default state is misery" - exurb1a

                Comment

                • rushyrulz
                  Digital Dancing!
                  FFR Simfile Author
                  FFR Music Producer
                  • Feb 2006
                  • 12985

                  #9
                  let this thread not deter from the fact that

                  THIS IS A MESSAGE BOARD ON A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO RHYTHM GAMING

                  Why are you posting this here? It surely can't be to get serious advice from any kind of expert because, again,

                  THIS IS A MESSAGE BOARD ON A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO RHYTHM GAMING

                  I don't usually pay any mind to these kinds of threads from you, but if people in the past have offered constructive advice/criticism, why not talk to them directly instead of publicly on

                  A MESSAGE BOARD ON A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO RHYTHM GAMING

                  ??

                  Here I found a place to post this!!! You're welcome, hope you find the help you're looking for.
                  Last edited by devonin; 10-17-2018, 04:12 PM.


                  Comment

                  • QueenAshy
                    Banned
                    • Sep 2017
                    • 606

                    #10
                    Originally posted by 123kappa3
                    If you need someone to change to feel comfortable around them or if you are unwilling to wait till they change so you can be comfortable around them why are you "falling in love with them".

                    Usually when i see someone who loves someone they love all of them and are usually comfortable around them.

                    if you do really like this person try to focus on why you like them and not why you dislike them.
                    No, I do focus on how much I like them, all my conscious mind is fawning over them; just my subconscious abuse victim, lesbian mind is going insane at such a masculine person. I definitely focus on how affectionate they are, how happy they make me, and how they treat me as valuable treasure rather than a disposable cum dump.

                    It’s really hard for me to get past this, and since I have little family or any sort of therapist I can talk to, it tends to stick in my mind forever and there’s not many places to vent or anything.

                    I stilll treat her with plenty of respect tho, and I always tend to check up on her and make sure she’s had enough to eat and stuff. We’ve had a great time both times she’s come over, and she tends to stay for over a week every time she comes over.

                    I don’t know why this has to be so hard for me…

                    Originally posted by rushyrulz
                    let this thread not deter from the fact that

                    THIS IS A MESSAGE BOARD ON A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO RHYTHM GAMING

                    Why are you posting this here? It surely can't be to get serious advice from any kind of expert because, again,

                    THIS IS A MESSAGE BOARD ON A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO RHYTHM GAMING

                    I don't usually pay any mind to these kinds of threads from you, but if people in the past have offered constructive advice/criticism, why not talk to them directly instead of publicly on

                    A MESSAGE BOARD ON A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO RHYTHM GAMING

                    ??
                    THIS IS A FUCKING GENERAL CHAT BOARD I CAN TALK ABOUT SHIT LIKE THIS HERE. NO NEED TO GO ALL OSU! FORUMS “NO ONE GIVES A CRAP ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH” STUFF

                    Originally posted by Wayward Vagabond
                    Sounds like you can't be in the relationship until she changes how she looks
                    I mean, it has been going well so far. Way better than any relationship I’ve ever been in. Especially considering that it started with us banging on a bed in an outdoor bdsm party.

                    We have quite a bit in common, and it should last way longer than my other relationships at this rate.

                    Difficult to get past this wall tho…

                    Originally posted by Antori
                    *snap* this is going in my cringe compilation
                    R.I.P Filthy Frank

                    Originally posted by Charu
                    That being said, if this really is gonna be a problem but you do care, then perhaps you could always pretend their appearance is to your standards until you actually believe it. Y'know, tricking yourself and whatnot.

                    That is if you really do care for this person. You can mess with people, but mess with their hearts and it's a whole different ball game. The way you worded it in the OP made me think you were considering dropping them.
                    I guess I could keep trying to push it to the back of my mind. I know there’s a more effective way to deal with it tho, I’m just a bit depressed, so I’m not the exact best to deal with this sort of thing.

                    But don’t worry, if I ever do have a relationship ending problem, I won’t lead them on. I’ll end it early if something way worse than this arises

                    Originally posted by the sun fan
                    ...No she hasn't?
                    She’s 26, it’s more than possible that it has reached that number over the years. In fact, if she’s applied three times a day since she was 16, she would be WAYYYY over that number.

                    She has had a job at some point, but she doesn’t have one atm. She once worked at a wash tub (which I presume might’ve closed down, or at least the location near her)
                    Last edited by devonin; 10-17-2018, 04:11 PM.

                    Comment

                    • aperson
                      FFR Hall of Fame
                      FFR Simfile Author
                      • Jul 2003
                      • 3431

                      #11
                      Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

                      Originally posted by QueenAshy
                      THIS IS A FUCKING GENERAL CHAT BOARD I CAN TALK ABOUT SHIT LIKE THIS HERE. NO NEED TO GO ALL OSU! FORUMS “NO ONE GIVES A CRAP ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH” STUFF
                      shhhh this is a library

                      Comment

                      • Gradiant
                        FFR's Resident Trashpanda
                        FFR Simfile Author
                        • Sep 2012
                        • 1097

                        #12
                        Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

                        "I'm not body shaming but I don't like the way they look"

                        And listen to Rushy
                        Last edited by Gradiant; 10-17-2018, 03:20 PM.

                        Comment

                        • Charu
                          Snivy! Dohoho!
                          FFR Simfile Author
                          • Mar 2006
                          • 6161

                          #13
                          This thread is probably going to be locked, but I need to say this because wow.

                          ...If your reason of thinking of moving on from a relationship is because of appearance... I'm sorry, but what the heck is wrong with you? That's not a relationship, that's just being incredibly selfish and not respecting them as you should like any relationship is all about.

                          Like... I'm trying to contain myself here, but what I read made me super angry man...

                          Originally posted by QueenAshy
                          “Real girl” is very offensive terminology as it basically states that trans women are not and can never be “real women.” Not to mention that cis female is a much easier descriptor that gets across your point in a much easier way to understand.
                          Wow... just wow.

                          What the fuck is this shit?
                          Last edited by devonin; 10-17-2018, 04:12 PM.


                          Originally posted by JohnRedWolf87
                          Charu the red-nosed Snivy
                          Had a very shiny nose
                          And if you ever saw it
                          You could even say it glows

                          All of the other Snivies
                          Used to laugh and call him names
                          They never let poor Charu
                          Join in any Snivy games

                          (Click the arrow to see the rest)


                          Originally posted by Vendetta21
                          All in all I would say that Charu not only won this game, his play made me reconsider how I play it.

                          Comment

                          • Gradiant
                            FFR's Resident Trashpanda
                            FFR Simfile Author
                            • Sep 2012
                            • 1097

                            #14
                            Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

                            Originally posted by Charu
                            Wow... just wow.

                            What the fuck is this shit?
                            The gall someone has to have to bring up 'offensive terminology' when they make a thread about questioning a relationship because of not liking someone's appearance.

                            Save them the trouble later on by telling them all this shit now. Let them be the one to decide if they still want to be in a relationship with a person that acts this way.
                            Last edited by Gradiant; 10-17-2018, 03:27 PM.

                            Comment

                            • QueenAshy
                              Banned
                              • Sep 2017
                              • 606

                              #15
                              Re: Me and my GF are together now! But there’s a bit of a problem…

                              Originally posted by Charu
                              This thread is probably going to be locked, but I need to say this because wow.

                              ...If your reason of thinking of moving on from a relationship is because of appearance... I'm sorry, but what the heck is wrong with you? That's not a relationship, that's just being incredibly selfish and not respecting them as you should like any relationship is all about.

                              Like... I'm trying to contain myself here, but what I read made me super angry man...
                              Except that I do respect them. We often have long cuddle sessions and play video games together. We went to subway, and when the server misgendered me, she actually corrected them; which was a first for me (not even my parents have done that). We’ve had long chats where we not only gush about liking each other, but we also discuss our interests (which we share a lot of), and we get along perfectly.

                              I talked to her about this recently, and she said it was “perfectly understandable” for me to feel this way. Love isn’t on hold by any means, and I ain’t gonna treat her like a second class citizen for her looks, but we both acknowledge that - given my past as an abuse/rape victim and my sexuality - it might me a little hard to come to terms with it. People blindly flaming me are not helping me, in fact, they’re making me slightly more pissed off and stressed about the whole thing. Anyone who knows me, will know that a stressed Wolfie is a monster…

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