Tales From Work

[tosh]

Re: Tales From Work

Not a customer related story, but during middle school and high school I worked on a farm during the summer months.

One time we were giving some cattle their regular antibiotics and applying spray-on insecticide. Anyway, everything was going normally until one of the cows was being really stubborn and wouldn't advance in the queue while in the chute. One of my coworkers took the electric cattle prod and gave the cow a small shock.
However, he apparently shocked the cow right where the previous coworker had applied the insecticide, so the electric shock interacted with the insecticide and it lit the cow on fire. Thankfully there was one person who was drinking something non-alcoholic instead of beer, so we were able to pour their drink onto the cow to douse the flames before there was any serious damage. The entire thing lasted maybe a minute, but I likely won't forget it anytime soon.

[choof]

Re: Tales From Work

my current coworker is a great dude, actually
he told me a story about how he beat the shit out of illegal immigrants with a 2x4 back when he was working in construction
he regularly calls black dudes "******s"
he makes jokes about women in front of customers and sometimes they reference my sister (who he's dating)

great dude

i'm pretty certain he has the same intelligence level as a glass of wendy's iced tea

[MixMasterLar]

Re: Tales From Work

For most of my working life I worked at a small chain called Grocery Outlet, which is a brand based in Birmingham, Alabama and is only around maybe 16-20 stores strong at the moment covering two states. The owners, Jack and Kent, are the kind of people who you think of when you think of asshole bosses: needlessly strict, spiteful, believes everyone but them is easily replaceable, refuses to replace broken equipment, and unfriendly to boot. But the ground level troops where cut from an entirely different cloth, and even the store managers where oftentimes very relaxed on rules. Sometimes rules that one shouldn't be relaxed with.


There once was a manager I knew who started working in the business at age 14. When he was 17 and after Grocery Outlet took over the mom 'n pop he worked at, he proved that he was such a fast worker that he was promoted to assistant manager. Now I have nothing but respect for the man, but sometimes he used his manager powers for shenanigans.

* One time after I had only been at work for 2 hours, having all of dairy to take care of he decided that he wanted to have lunch at Olive Garden. Olive Garden was at least a 30 minute drive but he ordered most of the crew to clock out and meet him there (One of my co-workers was actually clocking in, and was told to go ahead and clock out while standing by our clock so he could go to lunch). The lunch break lasted a little over 2 hours.

*Another time he found a website filled with dirty jokes (One of those old 90s sites where the entire thing is one page in some weird font and garbage background animations). He found it so funny he called all of us to the back so he could rattle them off for what had to have been 2 hours.

*I once asked him if a partially wrinkled box of Ice Cream sandwiches counted as too damaged to sale. He ripped them open and started to eat one, and answered "It is now"

*He once called me on my day off because he was bored at work. I brought an old CRT TV and my Playstation 2 from my trailer (Old timers may remember, but I lived right behind my workplace for years) in a grocer's cart and we played Soul Calibur 2 in the back office. This had to be broken up when all the other departments tried to stop working and join.

*Once he became legal drinking age Stopped giving a damn being only 18, he volunteered my co-worker/neighbor's house for weekly house parties. For months, the trailerpark would be filled Wednesday Nights with G.O workers who didn't have to work in the morning drinking at least 6 different types of liquor at any given time. Once the actual Managers found out.....they started attending regularly. Keep in mind that alot of businesses around here do not like employees hanging out with their co-workers (That's how union talk starts).

* A customer once gave him a Yam Pie. He had another co-worker throw it in my face after hours.

* And of course, at 19 he got bored being the fastest worker in the store and decided to join the Marines.


But he was just one unique person, as I could fill a book with some of the characters I worked with. If this thread is still alive and kicking next time I check I may have another G.O story for y'all.

TWG players may or may not recall this story as I remember making a post directly after this happened.

Also need to denote that I am an average (maybe short) white male, skinny ass arms, and a beer gut despite lack of beer drinking being frequent. I weigh like 175.

I am known at work for being both the guy who cares the least about literally everything, and brags that he doesn't try at all, and guy who has helped get two managers transferred out of the store (story for another post.)

Also fuck you guys this is funny format.

> Be me.
> Be 23.
> Work at walmart, fucking truck unloader.
> Under-staffed, and call outs on top of the under-staffing, we have like, 7 people to do like a 12 person job level dumb.
> One of the call outs is our direct supervisor. Ass hole. Is still my boss to this day.
> Me and coworker Tyler are in charge due to orders of manager over us. Any problems, we tell her and she deals with it.
> Knew truck was 3,400 pieces in one truck (standard is around 1,500 to 2,100, short hand is, it's the size of two.)
> Fight fastest truck thrower with argument that he throws too fast for small group of people, and I had laid claim the day before. TRUCK WAS MINE.
> Unloading large truck.
> Truck is well stacked (especially compared to the norm.)
> I get into the zone, have two headphones in, fucks are not given about anything else. It is me versus a line full of 4 people and some ass hole sorting shit because DC is too lazy to fix their machine.
> Everyone is busting ass. I'm able to both unload the truck, and keep the line of freight pushed out by myself, and the line is consistently full, I at times unload the freight onto the line whilst sitting down level full.
> Make throne of freight at times, and laugh at line workers who come in to see if line needs to be pushed out. It's already done. By me.
> 4 hours into truck.
> Need to note that at 5 hours of being on the clock with no meal break, we get a verbal warning / written up for meel break violation.
> time is now 8:05 pm or so.
> We clocked in at 4:00 pm.
> I am on the back wall of freight.
> I think it's about 8:30, because I was not smart, and did not check ipod for time. I usually pace myself by listening to certain albums and I know how long they are.
> Line has been moving at a slower pace for about an hour.
> I tired them out I thought.
> All of a sudden, hear call for frozen truck.
> Ignore it because it's 8:30.
> Fastest truck thrower comes into truck to the back where I am at.
> Tells me that half of our understaffed line had to go do ignored frozen truck.
> Two people on the line when it's 8:30 and I am on the back wall is pretty much us not finishing before we violate.
> There are other associates, Dairy and Produce, who could have easily handled the job.
> Lose my shit.
> Start yelling really mad.
> "Management is a bunch of fucking retards" yelled as loudly as possible.
> Yelling many bad things about management, above comment the most noteworthy.
> I am yelling loudly enough that you can hear me halfway across the store, and on the other side of it if you're currently unloading said frozen truck. (Told to me later.)
> Anyone who came into the truck to calm me down got told to fuck off.
> Pretty sure I called them useless cunts as well.
> Loud angry rant about how much management is fucking up.
> Management is currently in the backroom, in the aisle where the back-stock of shampoo aisle stuff is.
> Old boss is standing next to them.
> Management "Ok, we know he gets mad sometimes, but is he usually like that?"
> Old Boss "No, if he's that angry, you guys messed up."
> Manager comes and yells at me in the truck to go to lunch due to being pissed off as fuck.
> Tell him to fuck off and go to lunch.
> Coworkers finish the truck by themselves.
> Other manager asks if I am ok on the way out, tell her I don't wanna blow up on her because she's one of the managers I actually like.
> Walk out to sales floor.
> Check phone.
> 8:05 PM.
> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
> Walk across parking lot.
> Eat Panda Express.
> It was good. They had a hilarious mishap with the receipt. Lady who worked there eating on lunch had to come help. Ended up having lunch with her. Nice lady.
> Stillpissedoff.jpg
> Come back from lunch.
> Pull whole set of freight in 20 minutes because still angry.
> End up stopping pulling due to fatigue and that expensive items we got in that day, need to be checked off, so I do that.
> No one on crew when they come back talks to me save for Tyler. He explains everything. I'm still angry though.
> On sales floor now checking off PDQ's.
> Customer walks up to me, visibly annoyed.
> I still look pissed off as hell. I'm still angry. Regardless of what time it was, the choice was fucking dumb in the scheme of things, the conclusion I had come to.
> "Hey, you look more friendly than-"
> Laugh hysterically. Fucking lost it.
> Direct him where to go. Tell him about why I was laughing on the way. He laughs to.
> Later on that day, get customers who are trying to fit a toilet seat on a bucket.
> End of day comes.
> Not everything is done, but most of it is, which is surprising considering.
> Go home.
> Don't sleep that night, worried I am getting fired the next day for calling managers retards and cunts.
> Come in the next day.
> Ass hole boss is there.
> Tells me he knows of what I did yesterday, and laughs about it.
> Ask him if he knows if I am getting written up. He'd tell me these things if he knew, so I asked.
> "Nope."

> mfw I got away with it
> mfw other managers knew about this story
> mfw this is a story we tell the new guys
> To this day, still no formal write ups, or verbal discussions. One customer complaint ever. Was laughed at by management though. Pretty much never happened.

Things on this might be slightly inaccurate as I'm trying to remember a good amount of time back, and my memory is an example of being shitty.

I have a few more stupid stories but that one is probably my 3rd highest achievement.

People who don't work in retail don't know the struggle and that makes me a little sad. Never did work at a Wal Mart though I am told they are the worst.

[gold stinger]

Re: Tales From Work

I worked at a Shoppers Drug Mart which is the closest to retail you can get without it being wal-mart or something of the equivalent variety, and I have had a ton of crazy things happen while I was there because I worked retail front line.

* One time, a guy asked for sugar free water. Okay, weird request, pointed him to both the giant water jugs & bottled water. Proclaimed that because it doesn't say sugar-free on it and that it doesn't say sugar -> 0g on the back, it means it has an insignificant source of sugar but nonetheless sugar in it.

Immediately facepalmed myself internally on that one.

* Another time, I was stocking one of the ends (retail talk for the stuff in between the aisles at the ends that's usually on sale) with toothpaste & toothbrushes that were on sale. A woman came up to me and asked if there was a limit on them, I said no, and she asked for a box. I get a lot of people that ask for boxes I was thinking she needed them for her groceries, so I emptied a box and gave it to her, no probs. She scoffed at me, pushed me out of the way at the end, and started literally arming all the items off the shelf into her cart. She must have dropped at least $2000 of just toothpaste & toothbrushes into her cart. Didn't even count, just straight rich man armed it off the shelf into the cart.

* On another occassion, I was recommending baby formulas to a woman & talking to her about the difference between formulas, when her baby ran off on her. Decided that we didn't need to make an announcement to find the baby we'll just case the store it's not that big. I tell her to check the aisles over there and I'll check the ones over here. I find the baby and bring it back to her, but as I bring the baby back to her it clicks in my head that this baby is wearing no pants, not even diapers, and was like 3 years old. Long dress, but just nothing down there to cover up. I don't let it get to me and just continue my work, but the kicker is that we got an intercomm call about 40 seconds later from cashiers at the front of the store asking for retail workers to come asap. I respond to the call, and turn around the corner to face the commotion at the front of the store. Same kid was literally taking a shit in the middle of the standing area for the cashiers. The mother picked up the kid and flung the kid facing the exit of the store. I'm not even joking a stream of shit went flying through the air as she did this, covering the cashier register, the cashier, and the counter. Woman ran out of the store with her kid without paying for the groceries.

I had to clean that shit up too.

* Nearing the end of my shift, was restocking one of the ends (fancy talk for products at the end of the aisle that are usually on sale) near beauty products and some guy fell into a stand of nail polish. A lake of nail polish colored the tiles & ground in the entire aisle it was a lot of nail polish. Took days to get the color of the tiles back to white, even with a private company to come in and help with it after hours.

This has happened on 3 separate occasions, and even one time caught a guy intentionally smashing nail polish on the ground after looking at it.

* Got robbed at knife point once, from a guy in a brown trenchcoat and a blue shirt, as well as a very shaggy beard. Remember the get-up because I had to fill out a police report on it after my shift was done since it was near the end of my shift. Dude just wanted to use the washroom in the back room, but he had products in his pockets and wanted to take them out of the boxes and ditch the boxes in the bathroom. He put me at knife point very discreetly and in a way that no one else noticed when he did it, so I complied. When he went into the washroom by himself, I ran and got my manager. Let him know what was up, and just sort of didn't make a big deal out of it at all. Was pretty calm considering I was running on adrenaline at the time. The man left, police arrived shortly after, and that was the end of that. Dude who shoplifted got busted shortly after because we have cameras all throughout our store and in the back room, and decided to hit more nearby stores.

Afterwards, asked if anyone else working with me had that experience before, and sure enough, plenty have apparently it's a very common thing when you work at a place that doubles as a pharmacy that has pharmaceutical supplies.

[gold stinger]

Re: Tales From Work

Also don't want to sound like that person but the greatest feeling at work when I worked retail was when a nail polish incident happened because it meant that I could straight up take a bottle of nail polish remover off the shelf and just pour that stuff on the floor like an absolute rebel, made me feel in control that I could just do that in a store.

I know what you're thinking doesn't that mess up the product count in the systems that's made to double check for shoplifting that wasn't caught?

Yes, yes it does, but no one cared because everyone knew who was stealing the nail polish remover.

[shenjoku]

Re: Tales From Work

Geez, my work experience seems so tame compared to all of these O.o Nothing interesting ever happens to me lol.

Only thing I can think of is that when I used to work at Fry's grocery store back in high-school I found a playboy calendar still sealed in shrinkwrap in one of the shopping carts. It was out in the open lot late at night when I was just putting carts away like usual. I took it home and gave it to my older brother for his birthday XD

[Charu]

Re: Tales From Work

Ah, it's been a week since I made this thread. Now it's time to share another story from this beautiful place, dohoho.

*ahem*

SO

One of other favorites to tell happened on a Wednesday before the clock struck noon...

...So walking around helping students like I usually do until this black chick comes up and asks how to go about printing. I tell her the usual spiel. "Print card, put money if want more, 10 cents a page, yada yada yada."

So alright, cool, tell her this and I go and continue helping others while going back to my desk and twiddling my fingers and playing some dank minesweeper. Then... she comes up again of course and asks me, "How do I print in color?"

Of course I then explain to her how and that it's 30 cents a page then and I offer to let me help her set up a document so it's not ALL pages since the machine won't know that a single black and white page is still... a single black and white page.

She says, "No, that's fine, I want everything in color."

Oh boy, so I sit back down and notice she was adding money like crazy to her card. Like I'm talking +$20 or something.

Later I find out why, she decided to print out this 100 page whatever, ALL IN COLOR and then ONE PAGE that was supposedly black and white.

So she gets her color pages... except for the black and white one.

She starts fuming.

"WHERE'S MY PAPER?"

She demands me to come over and take a look at the printer that supposedly "ate her money".

"WHERE'S MY PAPER, THIS PRINTER JUST ATE 10 CENTS!"

"Calm down, you probably didn't actually print it."

"NO, I DEFINITELY PRINTED IT, IT TOOK MY 10 CENTS!"

"M'am, the printer can't choose what it wants to print. If you did see it, it most likely didn't go through and didn't charge you."

"IT ATE MY 10 CENTS, I DEMAND COMPENSATION"

"M'am, if you just..."

She then punches the printer as hard as she could (...probably not because it's still here and working, but it was a hard hit) and glares at me like I'm the one being unreasonable right now.

H O L Y s H i T e

"Okay, let me go get my superiors."

"You go do that," she responded.

So I go and do just that. I went and told one of the clerks the situation. We came back out and the clerk tried to same spiel I did. Of course now it was more hushed up and somewhat actually polite.

The clerk ended up just not wanting to deal with her and told me to just give her a free card and be done with it. So I go and do that, as the clerk returns to his desk, and give it to her with the most robotic stare I could give her.

She takes it, smiles, and then walks off saying. "MmHMM, that's right, can't be losing money, nu-uh. I gots a family to feed."

. . .

. . .

. . .

triggered

[inDheart]

Re: Tales From Work

Of course I then explain to her how and that it's 30 cents a page then and I offer to let me help her set up a document so it's not ALL pages since the machine won't know that a single black and white page is still... a single black and white page.

She says, "No, that's fine, I want everything in color."

Oh boy, so I sit back down and notice she was adding money like crazy to her card. Like I'm talking +$20 or something.

Later I find out why, she decided to print out this 100 page whatever, ALL IN COLOR and then ONE PAGE that was supposedly black and white.
[...]
She takes it, smiles, and then walks off saying. "MmHMM, that's right, can't be losing money, nu-uh. I gots a family to feed."

...

how the what...

i think you've entered bizarro printer world, charu. that is like the exact opposite print job from the one you'd want if you were trying to save money.

curiosity, was it like a full-color document to start? having trouble thinking of 100-page full color things that would need to stay in color, besides some specialty books

[Charu]

Re: Tales From Work

No, majority of it was, as I said, black and white text. So she wasted a whole lot of money, heh.

[Izzy]

Re: Tales From Work

A number of people were laid off at work a couple days ago. Apparently sales was failing to meet the necessary goals. Our development team is basically now a support team. =(

[trumaestro]

Re: Tales From Work

So Wing Wednesday is a pretty popular promotion.

And when you pick what you thought was a good time to clean the fryers and wrong

[Wineandbread]

Re: Tales From Work

I'll tell a #talesfromgradschool

A colleague in my lab group was replacing the nitrogen tank in his lab. It's in the basement by the microscopy area, and has to go 4 floors up by elevator.

As he's entering the elevator, one of the lab technicians walks to the elevator as well. We're talking a balding, mid 40s-looking French guy who doesn't dress particularly well.

My lab colleague hits the button for gas tank floor. This dude proceeds to press all the buttons, leave before the doors close, and tells him "have fun".

Apparently the technicians were testing the fact that the magnetic interference of the nearest elevator was affecting one of the high end electron microscopes, and they correlate the effect with what floor the elevator was on.

10/10 would be a dick and press all the buttons on the elevator again

[MarioNintendo]

Re: Tales From Work

I realized the code I've been working on for 2-3 days wasn't working because I was passing a char as an int to some variable (1 vs '1').

...

I do enjoy reading the stories in this thread

[TheThong]

Re: Tales From Work

Omg Charu. Kill the bitch. I would've been so annoyed at the last comment haha.

I had patient recently who came in due to being sexually inappropriate and aggressive / violent towards staff. Not a huge story, he was very entertaining on my shift actually. Was eating the gloves, made a bandana out of the gloves, turned his top into a 'bra top' and would folded everything in the room.

I'll tell you guys about when I used to work at a restaurant as well. I was the manager for the morning shift, myself and another staff member had to prepare for the day. Usually we leave the front door locked, cos we get so many customers coming in that think we're open.

So we open at 11am, and it's only 10.30am. At this stage, most things have been prepared but we have no money in the til, so I'm just about to go to the bank. This man walks in as I tell him we open at 11.

He proceeds to say, 'can't I just order now?'

I reply, 'sorry, we don't have any money in the til and are still preparing for the day. We open in half an hour if you would like to come back then?'

He continues to question (multiple x) why he can't order and I repeat the same answer. (In my head I'm thinking, Omg this is wasting my time I'd probably be done with prep by now). When he finally goes, I go to the bank.

It is now 1040am, and it takes 15 minutes from waiting in line to getting the money sorted. When I get back to the restaurant, it's 1055am. My other colleague tells me the same guy came back at 1050 and demanded that she serve him, while she tells him there's no money in the till and that we aren't open, storms out.

Anyway, he didn't come back at proper opening time.

The next day, my regional manager comes in to work with me and tells me I received a customer complaint! (this is my first one btw).

The email basically said that I was rude, treated him like a dog, and kicked him out the restaurant. Wtf.

[Dinglesberry]

Re: Tales From Work

I realized the code I've been working on for 2-3 days wasn't working because I was passing a char as an int to some variable (1 vs '1').

...

I do enjoy reading the stories in this thread

>That feel when ur coding in php cause who needs variable types amirite

<?php

$option = 2;

switch($option) {
  case "2 is this really a case of two or is it a random string":
    echo "First option chosen";
    break;
  case 2:
    echo "Second option chosen";
    break;
}

[b]Output[/b]
First option chosen