Morals

[Phynx]

Re: Morals

Starting from the fact these people are probably deeply insecure, otherwise they wouldn't need anything of the sort, this kind of behaviour is more about being able to conquer, Some people need to be reassured about themselves in this way. Just like many young people smoke because it's a bad "forbidden" thing. Human logic, man. Sadly, when something is perceived as taboo it becomes exponentially more intriguing... if you're too dense to see it for what it really is.

Sadly, you're right. But God forbid I be alive the day the world accepts infidelity as a fully acceptable nature of society. I'd implode...

Faith in a relationship is a good starting point, but not everything. SO your relationship can fail even if it's lacking on some other things.

Also, do remember that alternative social structures exist and/or have existed. Think for example of a social group of 10 people, mixed men and women. In this group sexuality and reproduction is promiscuous and they all agree with it. When a woman gives birth to a baby, they all raise as if it was their own. A baby has multiple mothers and fathers as role models. the concept of faith has been dismantled for a broader conception of family. As absurd as it may sound, this is an alternative. Not for everyone, i suppose, but it is. Another example, far less extreme, is to have a couple and agree for a three-way with another person. Or have an open couple and both agree with sexual freedom.

Right, it's not everything. To me, faith is #1 but there are key structures nearly as important that obviously need attention in order to maintain a good relationship. I recognize those and do what I can to satisfy all facets. I do like your examples though, they are really insightful and sound. They are shedding light on the unjustifiable actions. I guess for myself, it's a personal struggle because it's the people I grew up with and thought so highly of them and this problem is really crashing my world view of them. It's just so disheartening.

EDIT: and Spenners arguments are just as valid as far as I understand. I feel infidelity, its roots, its place in society, and its reasons for existing are becoming too commonplace and I'm trying to understand why as a whole.

[Mollocephalus]

Re: Morals

If you look back at human history, like millions of years back, can you tell me what is the natural behaviour? fidelity or cheating partners? or a mix of both?

I'm not trying to justify it, but even from a natural standpoint i feel like we are inclined to seek new partners, and faith is a social construct we created to be able to take care of out family better.

[PriestREA]

Re: Morals

As someone who has been cheated on before...

Those who cheat are not necessarily bitter people. My ex was targeted as a young girl bereft - which may be true, as Haku's economic metaphors have stated. I was somewhat bitter towards her at first, but I did realize that things like this happen and I'm not the first and most certainly not the last to be cheated on. Defending her afterwards was to the chagrin of my peers, but I understood that nobody deserved to be attacked for something that I now see as trivial. Most people are lacking excitement in a relationship or believe that the idea of a loyal and faithful relationship is too traditional and old fashioned; that people should be allowed to explore different avenues and personalities throughout their relationships. Most people that cheat - at least the cases I've dealt with (helping friends, my own experience) resulted from some kind of shocking thought or idea. Whether this idea is true or not, it drives people into a world of extemporaneous decisions. There are a select few that may just grow weary of a current relationship; those who believe they are now better than you and cheat/move on for the sake of their current social standing. I know a couple of girls that stray away from relationships and stick to one night stands solely because of their insatiable sex drive. Although I believe one night stands to be crude and stupid, some people choose to do that to prevent being "that person who cheated" on someone else.

I do believe that someone should be loyal in a relationship, yet one should not hang their head in the event they get cheated on. It is a dark road, but things happen for a reason, and as far as I'm concerned, the sooner they cheat, the better - it lessens the heartbreak just by a little. Do not let your friends tell you to go and play around with others, loyalty and honesty are the best polices (cliché, I know, but well warranted), and I would hold them in high regard to ensure a stable and healthy relationship. All the best.

[Cavernio]

Re: Morals

I agree with moll, generally, except for the strength at which people want to cheat. I think some people truly desire a lifelong partner.