Re: What do I do?
@OP Incoming WoT
I was a lot like you, I started getting picked on in 5th grade, and up until 10th it was relentless. I never really understood why it died down at the time, but now that I'm older and can reflect on my experiences the whole process is a lot clearer.
First off, my shortish backstory:
When I changed school districts between 4th and 5th grade, I didn't understand the culture at the new school. I was the new kid, I didn't fit into any of the clicks, I was immediately ostracized for being the showoff smart kid (really bad idea >.<). Top that all off with being a noodle armed wimp (couldn't do 3 pushups to save my life) and you've got the makings of class nerd in action (Had some decent sized glasses to help fit the description).
5th grade wasn't so bad because there were no periods, but I was kept out of kickball at recess because nobody wanted me on their team. When i did get on a team people would skip in front of me all the time. The anger i felt at those moments was palpable.
Enter 6th grade. Lockers, Periods, 7 times a day where people had the chance to pick on me for being me. I had books stolen, binders knocked out of my hands between classes. Eventually I just beelined from class to class getting through the hallways before anyone else noticed me.
After 6th grade my dad was sick of seeing me get picked on so he started making me do pushups and stuff. By the end of the summer I could do 5.
7th grade was 6th grade repeated, but some jerk caused me to fly off the handle one day and I got in a lucky punch that broke his nose. (Honestly total luck I'm still scrawny as shit at this point) For a couple weeks after that people left me alone. It was the best time I had in 7th grade.
I'll spare you 8th and 9th grade because it was a lot of the same. I got in one more fight, I kept working out, I started participating in sports (bball, track). But I kept doing weird shit that got me picked on.
-I'd skip up stairs
-I was always racing through the hallways
-I'd ALWAYS botch some cool comeback which would AWLAYS be turned around on me
Eventually in 10th grade I was having a really sour day. I had pretty much perpetually developed the "Your shit doesn't sting me anymore" mask, but that day it just wasn't up. I passed by one of the groups in the corridor that always gave me shit and felt each barb needle me. I don't know what caused it, but one of the guys in the group noticed and told the group to leave me alone.
I found the kid later in the hallway when he was alone and thanked him for getting them to stop. I don't think I said much. Something to the effect of "Hey about earlier, thanks for sticking up for me. I really appreciated it."
I think the kid was shocked for a second or two, but he told me no problem and we went our seperate ways.
From there stuff got better. The two of us hung out, found common interests. He's my best freind now and we're 7 years out of HS.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
So long story short:
----- There's two types of bullies
--------------One makes fun of other people maliciously to laugh as they cause discomfort
--------------The other does it to make the group they're with laugh, normally at the expense of the target.
------Fighting people does work, but ONLY if the person you end up in a fight with is known to be a jerk/prick (the first type of bully). Getting into a fight with a popular person (usually the second type of bully) always hurts you, because it makes you look like the jerk. It also turns public opinion away from you (believe it of not a lot of people probably think you're getting a raw deal, but won't speak up because they're scared it'll make them unpopular.
------Telling a teacher ALWAYS makes the situation worse (unless it's already physical). It might save you the first or second time, but kids get craftier and generally make the second time twice as bad, and the third three times as bad etc....
-----The Ignore/ I don't really care/ this is old now guys Face isn't going to stop them at this point. You're an easy target now, which sucks. Honesly being as you are in 12th grade and it's May just ride it out from here. It's going to be really difficult (close to impossible) for you to change your image in a month.
-----People prey on the lack of confidence that the people they bully tend to have. I always felt akward, I always felt like I didn't fit in, so for the longest while I stopped trying to. That made it easier for them to pick on me, because I didn't have a group of people that I fit in with. Keep trying to find something you're good at and people that share that same hobby. When you find that group, you'll be picked on less because now there's more people like you.
-----If someone does stick up for you make sure you go out of your way to tell them you appreciate it. In person. That day. Don't make it a huge ballon and ribbon thing, just make sure you do it.
-----Finally, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING you can do before you make the transition to college is to take a look at what makes you a target and eliminate those actions/reasons in public.
Stuff that used to get me singled out:
-----I used to wear rolled down knee high socks because they were the shortest socks mom would buy me. Bought my own damn socks.
-----The stupid effing blue lunchbox I used to have! God how I wished for paper bags I could throw out.
-----The weird stair skip I used to do. Brought to my attention by the guy from above.
-----Deodorant OMFG If you're not wearing any start! I never realized that I smelled bad, but other people sure did. Especially after gym.
I hope some of these things help you on your way. Remember you've got a ton of people here who share similar interests. Interact more with the community here if you're having a bad time closing out your HS career.
@OP Incoming WoT
I was a lot like you, I started getting picked on in 5th grade, and up until 10th it was relentless. I never really understood why it died down at the time, but now that I'm older and can reflect on my experiences the whole process is a lot clearer.
First off, my shortish backstory:
When I changed school districts between 4th and 5th grade, I didn't understand the culture at the new school. I was the new kid, I didn't fit into any of the clicks, I was immediately ostracized for being the showoff smart kid (really bad idea >.<). Top that all off with being a noodle armed wimp (couldn't do 3 pushups to save my life) and you've got the makings of class nerd in action (Had some decent sized glasses to help fit the description).
5th grade wasn't so bad because there were no periods, but I was kept out of kickball at recess because nobody wanted me on their team. When i did get on a team people would skip in front of me all the time. The anger i felt at those moments was palpable.
Enter 6th grade. Lockers, Periods, 7 times a day where people had the chance to pick on me for being me. I had books stolen, binders knocked out of my hands between classes. Eventually I just beelined from class to class getting through the hallways before anyone else noticed me.
After 6th grade my dad was sick of seeing me get picked on so he started making me do pushups and stuff. By the end of the summer I could do 5.
7th grade was 6th grade repeated, but some jerk caused me to fly off the handle one day and I got in a lucky punch that broke his nose. (Honestly total luck I'm still scrawny as shit at this point) For a couple weeks after that people left me alone. It was the best time I had in 7th grade.
I'll spare you 8th and 9th grade because it was a lot of the same. I got in one more fight, I kept working out, I started participating in sports (bball, track). But I kept doing weird shit that got me picked on.
-I'd skip up stairs
-I was always racing through the hallways
-I'd ALWAYS botch some cool comeback which would AWLAYS be turned around on me
Eventually in 10th grade I was having a really sour day. I had pretty much perpetually developed the "Your shit doesn't sting me anymore" mask, but that day it just wasn't up. I passed by one of the groups in the corridor that always gave me shit and felt each barb needle me. I don't know what caused it, but one of the guys in the group noticed and told the group to leave me alone.
I found the kid later in the hallway when he was alone and thanked him for getting them to stop. I don't think I said much. Something to the effect of "Hey about earlier, thanks for sticking up for me. I really appreciated it."
I think the kid was shocked for a second or two, but he told me no problem and we went our seperate ways.
From there stuff got better. The two of us hung out, found common interests. He's my best freind now and we're 7 years out of HS.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
So long story short:
----- There's two types of bullies
--------------One makes fun of other people maliciously to laugh as they cause discomfort
--------------The other does it to make the group they're with laugh, normally at the expense of the target.
------Fighting people does work, but ONLY if the person you end up in a fight with is known to be a jerk/prick (the first type of bully). Getting into a fight with a popular person (usually the second type of bully) always hurts you, because it makes you look like the jerk. It also turns public opinion away from you (believe it of not a lot of people probably think you're getting a raw deal, but won't speak up because they're scared it'll make them unpopular.
------Telling a teacher ALWAYS makes the situation worse (unless it's already physical). It might save you the first or second time, but kids get craftier and generally make the second time twice as bad, and the third three times as bad etc....
-----The Ignore/ I don't really care/ this is old now guys Face isn't going to stop them at this point. You're an easy target now, which sucks. Honesly being as you are in 12th grade and it's May just ride it out from here. It's going to be really difficult (close to impossible) for you to change your image in a month.
-----People prey on the lack of confidence that the people they bully tend to have. I always felt akward, I always felt like I didn't fit in, so for the longest while I stopped trying to. That made it easier for them to pick on me, because I didn't have a group of people that I fit in with. Keep trying to find something you're good at and people that share that same hobby. When you find that group, you'll be picked on less because now there's more people like you.
-----If someone does stick up for you make sure you go out of your way to tell them you appreciate it. In person. That day. Don't make it a huge ballon and ribbon thing, just make sure you do it.
-----Finally, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING you can do before you make the transition to college is to take a look at what makes you a target and eliminate those actions/reasons in public.
Stuff that used to get me singled out:
-----I used to wear rolled down knee high socks because they were the shortest socks mom would buy me. Bought my own damn socks.
-----The stupid effing blue lunchbox I used to have! God how I wished for paper bags I could throw out.
-----The weird stair skip I used to do. Brought to my attention by the guy from above.
-----Deodorant OMFG If you're not wearing any start! I never realized that I smelled bad, but other people sure did. Especially after gym.
I hope some of these things help you on your way. Remember you've got a ton of people here who share similar interests. Interact more with the community here if you're having a bad time closing out your HS career.
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