Being Genuine

[carlin]

Ever met or talked to that person who you could tell was just not being "real" or being a "genuine" person? For me they are really hard to talk to. But I want to see what everyone here thinks. Why should people be genuine and not create a fake personality to hide behind?
I wouldn't allow myself to do that because it's like I'm saying that I can't be bothered to try at living.

[ScylaX]

Re: Being Genuine

Somehow, everyone creates a fake personnality according to the environment he is dived into. That's the jungian persona. I'm pretty sure you're not an exception at being a social being and are also adaptating to the person you're speaking to, changing the way you speak to your mom for instance compared to how you speak with your friends, which indicates you're having a different behavior depending on the person you're talking to. And since the environment influences you permanently, there's not many way to be totally "genuine", everyone's identity is a bit biased by the doxa that surrenders them. (The difference of how some kid behaves when they're with their friends oftenly astonishes parents because of how different they are when the parents are present, it's always awkward when friends and parents are around when you're a child, because there's some compromises and concessions on your identity to do)

But I guess you're talking about being deliberately "fake", which leads to a wider debate.
Also what do you call "living" exactly ? I think replacing it by "existing" would be more convenient to your sentence, since the verb "to live" has a plenty of meanings, but "to exist" emphasizes a lot more the fact of continuing to produces phenomenons in the frame of the relational interractions between beings. But maybe that's just me (2much existentialism duh)

[carlin]

Re: Being Genuine

Haha, yeah I did kinda forget about that for a second. I do change the way I talk to different people. But it's still not by much. For example going from friends to parents. As for existing versus living, I'm not much of an existentialist so either word works for me. Both have pretty much the same meaning to me.

As for the actual debate here. I was talking more about people who are just being deliberately fake and don't want to show you any part of them. While this may be their choice, it can lead to some very annoying things. One example of this is a girl a I had a couple classes with in high school. She was constantly looking for attention, and so she would try to get it by asking to "help out the teacher." But really it was just for her own personal gain. She wanted to be rewarded in everything she did. If the teacher assigned homework, she would immediately ask the teacher in a very nice and civil voice, that just completely drove me crazy, "could we not have homework? We've all had homework in this class and in other classes." As if that would really sway the teacher in the slightest. I think I actually got a head ache one time from listening to her talk.

[ffraxis]

Re: Being Genuine

social conditioning would like a word with you and systemic/situational forces would also like a word with you.

[Arch0wl]

Re: Being Genuine

All of us are probably fake to some extent, but past a certain point it's hard to even know you're being fake.

Still though, acting like everyone is fake to the same degree is coy at best. Movies like The Stepford Wives wouldn't be possible if there wasn't an idea of what it's like to be "real."

[ffraxis]

Re: Being Genuine

nothing is real, something is fake.

[bmah]

Re: Being Genuine

Maybe the better word is "sincere" as opposed to "genuine". Sincerity puts meaning to what you say and do; it shows that you -mean it-. Most people can appreciate that.

[ScylaX]

Re: Being Genuine

Of course, once you induced that persona standard. All you have to do is defining a new "pureness" which will be the greatest genuine degree you could reach in normal conditions.

[ELRayford]

Re: Being Genuine

We see it all the time. It is part of the human psyche. I believe that everyone is fake to an extent I only know one man who doesn't have this problem.

[Cavernio]

Re: Being Genuine

I don't see the connection with being fake and 'not trying'. The person who is fake is obviously trying harder than the person who isn't, because it takes effort to put on a facade, and the people who do that obviously have a goal in mind.
Also, I don't think your example of the homework annoying girl is representative of fakeness. She obviously didn't want homework, she wasn't faking that. I mean, I think you gave a good impression of what she's like, but being a bad suck-up isn't really being fake.

I don't have a facade really when it comes to talking to people, instead I'm quiet, and that therefore makes it equally hard to talk to me. And a person who is a good actor, yet are being fake, will be very easy to talk to too, likely moreso than a person who chooses to not agree to a lot of the things you say because, hey, they just don't agree.

I used to be all about being yourself, but if you're the type of person whose self is to be perpetually acting, then who am I to judge? Trying to get into any sort of serious relationship with such a person might be kinda hard, but again, it's the individual's choice to be fake if they desire, and they'll know the consequences of their fake personality.

[A2P]

Re: Being Genuine

alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the time

[Nyokou]

Re: Being Genuine

[PURE GENIUS]

Re: Being Genuine

There's no such thing as a "fake" personality. People do what they can, what they want, and what they need to do. Thinking about things in terms of "fake" and "genuine" gets you nowhere.

[TC_Pr0]

Re: Being Genuine

It's the internet...who's genuine?