Epic School Stories

[lord_carbo]

ITT we post our most epic stories related to school, schoolwork, school projects, tests, gym class, etc.







Here's mine:

It's eighth grade. Health class. No other details are really important other than it's a D.A.R.E. "omg drukqs" program. Oh, and there's a pretty nerdy kid in the class (not me). We'll call him Mario because he's obsessed with Nintendo.

I seriously hope he was joking this day.

Our D.A.R.E. officer, on the introduction to our short little week on drugs, asks us, "does anyone know the two major hallucinogens?"

Mario raises his hand.

"Yes, Mario?" the officer asks.

Mario barely hesitates when giving his answer. "PSP and LCD!"

Although there wasn't an uproar from the class (a giggle from most, I would say), I and a few others could barely breathe after hearing that. It was funny, too, because this guy is one of those "drugs rrrr bad" people (in fact, his mom said I couldn't ever talk to him again because of a drug related comment I once made).

And I still don't know if he was joking or if it was just an honest mistake.

[TheRapingDragon]

Re: Epic School Stories

Phencikline (PSP)
The experienced smokers of PSP think that the effect of a dose of 2-3 mg takes place in 5 minutes and lasts about 30 minutes. In such state a person is usually speechless, he is more like in his own fantasy world. Typical sensations are euphoria, ringing in the ears, warmth all over the body, peacefulness, isolation, sometimes visual or auditory hallucinations. The sense for space and time is incorrect. The emotional state may vary from a slight euphoria to an anxiety or fear. The psychosis, caused by greater doses, may last for about 3-6 hours, but it takes 24 hours for the effect to wear off completely.

Oh.

Also, I'll think of a story when I can, but just thought I'd point out that it is a drug.

Though it was probably a joke, as LCD was obviously supposed to be LSD.

[cC@Zz]

Re: Epic School Stories

Well about a month ago there was a fight that took place in the hallways of my school during the morning. Not long after I dropped of my things at my locker I was talking with my friends in the hallways when a fight broke out between two students. One was named Ben, the other Andy. Ben pretty much punched Andy several times taking him to the ground and then smashed his knee into Andy's gut several times. He then dragged Andy on the floor until Andy kicked Ben off him. Everyone was gathering around the fight by now as the fight moved in front of the windows by the library. Ben smashed Andy's head against the window and then in a way applied a spinebuster on him. The fight was broken up soon after words.

That fight was probably one of the most enjoyable to watch since another fight that happened in front of a dairy queen after school between a small kid and a large kid. The difference in their size made it seem like David vs Goliath. The fight eventually went into the street and the huge crowd of people watching followed blocking cars in the street.

[Chrissi]

Re: Epic School Stories

Oh.

Also, I'll think of a story when I can, but just thought I'd point out that it is a drug.

Though it was probably a joke, as LCD was obviously supposed to be LSD.

PSP was supposed to be PCP. I didn't even know PSP was a drug, but PCP is relatively common.

I can only find two references to Phencikline on google... o.O

[lord_carbo]

Re: Epic School Stories

Another 8th grade story!

Black kid walks into World History 20 minutes late. We'll call him Darryl. The teacher yelled at Darryl as he came in, but she didn't do anything! It was really weird because this teacher is a bitch and stuff.

Well, Darryl is acting very ecstatic and enthusiastic and unfocused for some odd reason. Twice he got up and just walked around, and he was, well, crazy. There was no need to ask "what was he smoking?" It was already clear, but the teacher didn't do anything about it.

Next period: literature. Yeah, I have the luck of having Darryl in my lit class, too. He's a bit calmer now, not as crazy as before. But about five minutes into the period, out of nowhere, he throws up. It wasn't much, but he still did. Now he was in shock, oh man, you should have seen the look on his face. He was terrified. The teacher insisted on sending him to the nurse but he just kept refusing to go. Ironically, this kid always took up the opportunity to go to the nurse's office. I was in three of his classes, and about two, three times a week, he went to the nurse.

It was priceless.


I have two more stories. The last one is the best 8)

[purebloodtexan]

Re: Epic School Stories

Two soccer stories.

My 7th grade year, me and the boys teams were basically the chanting section. This one woman (I'm guessing she was a volunteer or something) kept telling us to sit down, stop hitting our drums and whatnot, but we just ignored her. Eventually, she calls the police on us. Thankfully, we were still allowed to sing and make as much verbal noise as we wanted.

8th grade

We were probably 10 minutes from the end of the second half, and we do the ritual repetition of "Stony Point!" when we're nearing the end of the game. Unfortunately, both the Round Rock and Stony Point chanting sections were in the same side of the stadium, and the RR crowd started shouting "Sucks!" after we chanted. Eventually, they start chanting "Round Rock!", and we did what they did to us. It was pathetic, because they were acting as if we commited murder. After some trash talk from the Round Rock crowd, we starting chanting "Stony Point!" as loud as we could. There was a bit of pushing and shoving, and rent-a-cop came through. I'm not sure why, but one of our freshmen players took a large, painted-over sprite bottle and threw it at a Round Rock fan. He was eventually kicked out the stadium, and the SP crowd started shouting something similar to "bull****" in Spanish (A good portion of our school is Latino).

[FluorescentArmy]

Re: Epic School Stories

Here's one from 8th grade lunch:

One day, the 8th grade version of FluorescentARMY was sitting at his lunch table eating some horribly baked frozen food. Along walk in the "cool" kids. You know, the ones that stay up passed the bed time, do drugs and talk like pot is heroine, and always wear black. So, they all get in one line and start being "badass" and their fat sluts are soon to follow behind them. One of the fatter, and I must add, smellier, sluts got behind one of taller "badass" kids. The tall kid, who's name is Cody, was wearing those silky gym shorts. Casey, the girl behind him, was being naturally fat. She went to shank him and she got him. Not only did he have silk shorts on, but silk boxers. So, Cody is left standing in the middle of the lunch room, everyone staring at his tiny genitalia, completely embarrassed. 'Twas amazing.

[lord_carbo]

Re: Epic School Stories

Okay I'll just tell that epic story right now.

This happened a few months ago in the gym locker room.

There's this kid who we'll call George. He isn't just stupid: he's unbearably desperate for attention. He thinks I'm his friend but I'm not, and I've actually started expressing my hate directly to him ever since he started going crazy for attention. He brings cigarettes to school, brags about smoking them and pot, shows off his (now stolen) MP3 player...

Okay, back to the gym locker room. This time he has a grill lighter. He's trying to light up a bunch of cologne he's spraying in the air (so I have to smell that **** and be in a room with an attention-whoring pyromaniac?). Oh, and of course, he's trying to gather attention. In no time, he has a whole bunch of sweaty jocks and gangsters gathered around him, taunting George and calling him stupid and ****.

Two jocks then get the best idea ever. I actually devoted a shrine to commemorate their creativity.

"Give us both $10 or we'll rat you out," they said.

OH, BUT IT GETS BETTER.

George, lacking any sort of common sense, says probably the most hilarious thing ever: "I only have twenties."

Sure enough, those two jocks both left the locker room with twenty dollars, and George left with $40 out of his pocket and (hopefully) a lesson learned in attention whoring.

For an attempt to burn down the school, that went pretty well.

[lord_carbo]

Re: Epic School Stories

Okay okay okay another story. Again from this year.

I'm in the highest Spanish class I can be in right now but I honestly don't know how I even got there. I'm horrible at Spanish; it's my worst subject. Well, really, it's the vocabulary which throws me off. Grammar rules aren't bad, I just can't learn new words.

It's really rare for me to get A's on quizzes and stuff. I mean, my teacher (Mrs. Kowal) is pretty cool and all, she's just really rough. She never passes off a moment to teach us new words. This is bad, because she can teach us a million words and only use a third of them on an actual quiz/test. She never uses things from the book; it's all stuff she teaches us. The worst part is that she doesn't even make it obvious--sometimes things she just seems to bring up because she wants to teach us more are things that she uses on quizzes and tests.

Well, we were taking a quiz based off a vocabulary unit. To my luck, this quiz was on food, specifically fruits and vegetables and a bit of other stuff on misc. foods and units (un paquete de..., un kilo de..., etc.), and there's a lot of new words we needed to know. It would be an underestimation to say I would have done "meh"--I would have bombed that thing. I'm guessing I would have gotten about a 60 until the best divine intervention ever happened.

Now, what you have to remember is that this teacher, although a hard teacher and looks like she's 45, is really hip and cool with all her students. She teases us all the time and we all just have a laugh about things. Oh, and I'm on the far right end of the class.

Some kid's (we'll call him David) cellphone went off. Now, David is at the left of the class, all the way in the back. He jokes around with Mrs. Kowal, saying, "oh it's not mine!" and stuff. Mrs. Kowal gives one of those sarcastically grinning "ugh" faces and goes into the back of the room and hovers over him. Everyone's looking at her and David. It couldn't have worked out any better for me.

The girl to my left was pretty much an A+ student. I was a C+/B student. If I had any hopes of getting a good grade on the quiz, I had to copy her. I pretended as if I was looking over like everyone else as I blatantly copied off of her. I had a good 15 seconds to read over what was on her paper, and I used every frame of time to my advantage.

A.

Funny how I can memorize the answers off of someone's quiz but I can't seem to memorize the words I needed prior to it. Oh, the things the brain can do under stress!

[purebloodtexan]

Re: Epic School Stories

In the marching season, it was half-time, and McNeil played first. A few upperclassmen say that McNeil always take forever with their half-time shows, and they were apparently doing this now. When it was our turn to play, in the middle of our closer, you hear the cannon, and you see the football team rushing onto the field. We eventually get to play our closer at the end of the game, but we were still pretty pissed (Jared wouldn't even talk in the third quarter).

Many of us heard from the football players that had they not run onto the field, they'd be accused of delay of game. This is ridiculous, however, seeing as the McNeil band played way past their time slot.

[adlp]

Re: Epic School Stories

ok,

9th grade health class, on my teacher's birthday, about two weeks ago. there is this redneck named Austin in my class, and he is one of those attention-horny kids who yell dumb stuff and hope for responses. Anyways, this kid always talks sh*t about his mom all the time for no reason (maybe sympathy) and says like how much of an alcoholic and a loser she is. well that day, she showed up at my class, and she was pissed.

oh and she was drunk.

So this lady came in and she asked us how many of us hated her kid. a couple kids raised their hands, and she was like: im not suprised, he is a such a ******. and she talked more and more, and ended on, i hate my kid, but he's going to get an education even if i have to cut off his legs and drag him to school.

after she left, we sang happy birthday to my teacher.

it was a pretty good day.

[mmeegghhaann]

Re: Epic School Stories

At the start of this school year I was enrolled in Driver's Ed. with one of our social studies teachers. After we had gone through the classroom portion of the class it was time to go drive. One of my friends was my partner so while I had to drive he sat in the backseat of the car while the teacher sat shotgun. We passes a McDonalds and we see some college dance team having a car wash to raise money. My (old and male) teacher then rolls down the window and screams "TAKE IT OFF!!" at those cheerleaders. AKWARD

[psychopete]

Re: Epic School Stories

Let's see...in eighth grade, I was forced to write down a list of people giving me crap in school and bring it down to the vice principal. So, I did so, and I left it in my locker, since I was going to bring it in the next morning. Someone, who was on said list, breaks into my locker, steals the list, brings it home and tells his mom that it's a hit list. She calls the police, and the next day I'm brought into the police station and was interrogated for about 2 hours. I wasn't arrested, but the people who gave me **** really wanted me to get arrested. Those people got suspended, though. For about a month.

[purebloodtexan]

Re: Epic School Stories

6th grade

We were required to take gym in 6th grade, which wasn't that much fun until the last 2-3 months of school, which we mostly played pick-up games. We had changed and whatnot, and were watching TV. Suddenly, we just see a blue blur, and a huge chunk of gel deodorant goes "splat" on the TV screen. Noone saw who did it, but the coach was threatening to make us run 10 miles until someone fessed up. I'm guessing that he was bluffing.

[lord_carbo]

Re: Epic School Stories

Let's see...in eighth grade, I was forced to write down a list of people giving me crap in school and bring it down to the vice principal. So, I did so, and I left it in my locker, since I was going to bring it in the next morning. Someone, who was on said list, breaks into my locker, steals the list, brings it home and tells his mom that it's a hit list. She calls the police, and the next day I'm brought into the police station and was interrogated for about 2 hours. I wasn't arrested, but the people who gave me **** really wanted me to get arrested. Those people got suspended, though. For about a month.

Wahahahhahahaha, amazing.