i cant do it

[Arntonach]

i tried, but everyone else tries harder. i work, but everyone else works harder. i do my best, but everyone else is better. i wanted to be able to help and support those that i care about but it kept getting more and more out of hand.

I dont know how i can keep this up anymore, now that my sister doesn't want to live here. she wants me to call the cops, but then everything will fall apart and we'll have nowhere to go and I dont make enough money right now to support the both of us. im scared.

[gold stinger]

Re: i cant do it

Whole lotta people thinking what to write but don't know what to say because it's extremely vague.

Assuming they don't know what's going on, but given what's happening, I'm going to give a rough guess that you're upset about others that you care for and their thoughts/actions, as well as your current income being unstable enough to perhaps cause you to move around in the future.

Best thing in my opinion that you can do is sit down and think things over with those that you care about, be stern and forward with the information, and take it seriously. If you have already, then a plan needs to be made so that you may overcome it, whether it's visiting food shelters or ask the government for help in order to cut food expenses, or seek refuge centers/assistance organizations in your area that might be able to help you.

From reading your thoughts on your profile, it looks like you had already went through a lot, so I really approve of all your hard work. Not sure what happened recently between you and your sister that makes her want you to call the police, but if it's an issue between both of you, she needs to know what's really going on, no matter how much it hurts. Get the harsh stuff out of the way and then start brainstorming a fix for it that everyone can agree on. Can't offer any fixes myself, because I live in Canada and I don't know US customs all that well. x_x

[Arntonach]

Re: i cant do it

Well, to be specefic:

My mom asked me and my sister to do her homework for her online class, which when she enrolled was unaware of the amount of commitment an online class required. Thing is we barely understand the material either and we barely have the time and energy anymore (thanks to my new job and my sister's finals) to tackle it ourself. Now it's due by the end of the night and my mom wanted it done early cause it's mother's day. I fell asleep as soon as I got home from work and my sister has be working on her homework. Then, around 6PM, my sister started to work on my mom's homework, but my mom got upset at us for not having it done early. She kept laying on the guilt until I yelled back at her. This got my sister worried and she called her friend to see if she could spend the night over at her house, while I made the post above. Then her friend came over to pick her up, but my mom pleaded her to not leave since it was mother's day. By the end of it all, my mom had me apologize to her for yelling at her in front of my sister and her friend.

Now I have to finish up her homework before midnight after feeling like I've been walked over by the person I've tried to help the most. This is after my training officer tells me I need to stop letting that happen so I can do my job properly. Go figure. :/

[Zageron]

Re: i cant do it

Sounds like you have a mother that lives in her own little world.
No offence, she needs a reality check.

What exactly is the problem you're facing here? The way I take it you are having issues separating yourself from your young life, unless of course you are still young.

[dragon890x]

Re: i cant do it

If you want things to go your way:

Don't do her homework and continue going on with your daily life.
If things happen, they'll happen. You'll be fine.

Something tells me that your mother will back down.


If you want to make sacrifices for your mother:

Continue to do her homework and take the hits as they come.

There is no room for complaints at this point.

[Arntonach]

Re: i cant do it

What exactly is the problem you're facing here? The way I take it you are having issues separating yourself from your young life, unless of course you are still young.

I'm having a hard time tackling the things I did before I got my job alongside the responsibilities I have with my new job and I'm expected by my mom to do them all without help.

[gold stinger]

Re: i cant do it

You shouldn't have to help her do her own homework, really. I mean, I understand if there's a lot of paperwork behind it, but what is she doing instead of her commitment to the work? Procrastination? Listening to music/playing games? I feel almost as if she should face the same reality that you have to deal with right now, and not you having to deal with it FOR her.

Also, the best piece of advice I could probably share about getting in touch with your job is to go in acting as you're the most popular person there. Don't let others get you down, do the very best work you can, and if that's not enough for them, then either its not the right job or they are nitpicking and its their loss. With that said, take everything in moderation. If you find that something begins to become a little too much for work, feel free to speak up about it, you are allowed to voice your opinion. I tell my mom to do it more often, but she works in a union and never wants to do it, because it will become a big-scale issue. x_x

Also also, extremely proud that you were able to get a job after having so many issues with not finding a job. My family doesn't have a job, except for my father, who makes around $55/month on 60 hour weeks, and keeps 90% of that money for himself because he's greedy and gives it to us, which is what we live off of for 3 people.

Still looking for a job over here myself, but it's getting increasingly difficult to get one nearby that works with my schooling ;s

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: i cant do it

does your mom take your lunch money too????

[gold stinger]

Re: i cant do it

I honestly think you're being taken advantage of based on your generosity.

[BilliumMoto]

Re: i cant do it

"Mother's Day" is a dumb arbitrary name for a day anyway. Not saying you shouldn't respect mothers, but it's no reason to be forced to do your mother's homework. Make sure she knows this.

[DossarLX ODI]

Re: i cant do it

I honestly think you're being taken advantage of based on your generosity.

Two people did that to me for the semester that just ended and one of them had the audacity to risk me failing the final by saying my name right in front of everyone when we were taking a final. Fucking dipshit couldn't even remember the assignment he had. I mention this because

Well, to be specific:

My mom asked me and my sister to do her homework for her online class, which when she enrolled was unaware of the amount of commitment an online class required

I've gotten ever more angry at people who say they will "take a look at something" and wait until near the deadline without any responses/updates previously. If your mother is one of these kinds of people that thinks she can just wait off something and finish it quickly, she needs to learn to start EARLY.

My lab partner would always send me emails saying he would "look into it", would not respond the next day or two days, and the assignment would be due in 4 days -- at this point I would send him a direct email saying if he couldn't have his lazy ass take 10 minutes to look over my code and discuss its layout, he would have to do the assignment himself which would take many hours in contrast to the 10 minutes I requested of him.

Eventually, your mother is going to have to realize she cannot just rely on others to do her work. It sounds like she is viewing the course as "busy work" rather than taking her education seriously. At some point, she's going to see that this will put her in a very bad situation. Keep in mind that when she starts late, she also cannot ask for help if there is a problem. If I ever had problems, I was able to resolve them in time because I did not start near the deadline.

I usually don't mind helping people if they are willing to actually learn from what I explain to them. But the above two people I mentioned just viewed the courses as busy work.

[rushyrulz]

Re: i cant do it

My lab partner would always send me emails saying he would "look into it", would not respond the next day or two days, and the assignment would be due in 4 days -- at this point I would send him a direct email saying if he couldn't have his lazy ass take 10 minutes to look over my code and discuss its layout, he would have to do the assignment himself which would take many hours in contrast to the 10 minutes I requested of him.

Probably why collaboration on programming assignments is forbidden in my college (unless it's a structured, module-by-module, everyone does their part type assignment as specified by the instructor). I've learnt that I can't rely on random people in this world and those who ask for help are generally just looking for an easy out and have no actual interest in learning the material. It's okay though, people like us will succeed and people like them will fail later in life. Karma is, in fact, a bitch.

[DotKritic]

Re: i cant do it

You would think someone like your mother would research how much work an online class requires. You're practically on your own.

[Izzy]

Re: i cant do it

Probably why collaboration on programming assignments is forbidden in my college (unless it's a structured, module-by-module, everyone does their part type assignment as specified by the instructor). I've learnt that I can't rely on random people in this world and those who ask for help are generally just looking for an easy out and have no actual interest in learning the material. It's okay though, people like us will succeed and people like them will fail later in life. Karma is, in fact, a bitch.

Back in college I used to work together with a good friend I used to have. On a particular assignment we worked together by simply discussing a good way to do some of the parts of it. It was a great learning experience for me and I felt like I had really benefited from the assignment and even enjoyed some it because I didn't just sit down and think to myself.

Well, turns out because we used a similar way to solve it he ended up failing both of us and reporting us to the "honor society" thing. In which case I obviously appealed such a decision, but apparently the only way to get off was to prove that we didn't actually work together. There was absolutely no way to argue that while we did work together we don't agree that getting an F was a fair punishment. So.. we failed.

So yea... don't work together on programming assignment. No fun allowed.

[Cavernio]

Re: i cant do it

Your mom sounds like...a piece of work.

I don't know how you doing your mom's homework is going to benefit your mom in the long run, unless this course is simply something to say she's done and she will never actually use anything the course is supposed to be teaching.

And then there's her manipulation.