Just a quick backstory to what I need help with. I've recently been having to deal with very unhealthy levels of anger for two reasons. First, my job, normal for some but I work in my fathers cropdusting business and do great there except for the fact that him and I never see eye to eye about how to do things and it has been causing us a LOT of inter-work contention.
Secondly, and here's the bad one, one of my older brothers, who I've done everything in my power to remove from my life due to his persistent heavy drug use and endless counts of illegal activity, has come back to my town and started causing a lot of problems with my parents.
I hold a LOT of love and respect for my family, especially the parents, and to see them suffer this fool after all they've already done for him and and still more after all he's done to us, my anger levels are so high now that I've contemplated killing the man. I've been dreaming about it and every time I see this mans face I shake and sweat from pure rage. I've made the decision to stay away from my parents place until he's back in prison or dead and it hurts me to do so because I love my parents and they don't deserve the pain he's putting them through but my temper has shorted out for the last time and I can't handle it anymore.
I've considered seeing a therapist but around here, we don't have any. We have pharmacists who only prescribe pills to everyone with a personal problem by calling it a mental disorder. We don't have any "sit down and let's talk" type of therapists anymore. I lost another older brother late last year to those "crazy pills" after they prescribed him three different types of them. He died due to the direct impact they had on his mind.
So my question friends, what else can I do to cull this mountain of rage to prevent me from doing something unthinkable and hurting my family even more?
I'm even considering selling my house and the bigger part of my possessions to get out of debt and move far, far away so I can leave my anger in this town and start happy and fresh somewhere else.
Secondly, and here's the bad one, one of my older brothers, who I've done everything in my power to remove from my life due to his persistent heavy drug use and endless counts of illegal activity, has come back to my town and started causing a lot of problems with my parents.
I hold a LOT of love and respect for my family, especially the parents, and to see them suffer this fool after all they've already done for him and and still more after all he's done to us, my anger levels are so high now that I've contemplated killing the man. I've been dreaming about it and every time I see this mans face I shake and sweat from pure rage. I've made the decision to stay away from my parents place until he's back in prison or dead and it hurts me to do so because I love my parents and they don't deserve the pain he's putting them through but my temper has shorted out for the last time and I can't handle it anymore.
I've considered seeing a therapist but around here, we don't have any. We have pharmacists who only prescribe pills to everyone with a personal problem by calling it a mental disorder. We don't have any "sit down and let's talk" type of therapists anymore. I lost another older brother late last year to those "crazy pills" after they prescribed him three different types of them. He died due to the direct impact they had on his mind.
So my question friends, what else can I do to cull this mountain of rage to prevent me from doing something unthinkable and hurting my family even more?
I'm even considering selling my house and the bigger part of my possessions to get out of debt and move far, far away so I can leave my anger in this town and start happy and fresh somewhere else.
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