White house responds to petition for Death Star

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  • dragonmegaXX
    ITG playing fur
    FFR Simfile Author
    • Jul 2008
    • 3661

    #1

    White house responds to petition for Death Star

    OOOOH boy this is full of comedy.

    Build this Death Star, we will not. That’s the message from the White House in an official response to a petition urging President Barack Obama to build the moon-sized planet-killing space station from Star Wars.
    “The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense,” writes Paul Shawcross, chief of the science and space branch of the White House’s budget office. But “the Administration does not support blowing up planets.”
    Plus, Shawcross points out: “Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?” (Cue speculation that China has built an X-Wing fighter). And with the price tag estimated to run at least $852 quadrillion, Shawcross says, “we’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.” (Hmmm, so the stimulative impact of government infrastructure spending does not balance out its cost? That might come up again as Obama clashes with Republicans this Spring over how best to reduce the national debt.)
    Shawcross goes on to list various high-tech projects funded with taxpayer dollars, throwing in a few Star Wars reference for good measure (the International Space Station features “onboard garbage mashers.” NASA has a Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office – C3PO? Really? Someone had a bit of fun with that one).
    It’s sad news in a way, as if more than 34,000 petition signers cried out in terror and were suddenly silence. But it’s good news for the Senate! After all, building the first Death Star enabled Emperor Palpatine to dissolve the Senate. That means that there’s no need for regional governors to take direct control over their territories and use fear to keep the local systems in line.
    No word on whether the president will now take the time to answer the question he was asked in his Reddit chat last year: Star Trek or Star Wars.
  • Ohaider
    FFR Veteran
    • Jun 2012
    • 2893

    #2
    Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

    10/10 mfw

    Comment

    • ~Zeta~
      Flag Master
      • Oct 2010
      • 2156

      #3
      Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

      the glory

      Comment

      • Xx{Midnight}xX
        FFR Player
        • Aug 2007
        • 8548

        #4
        Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

        A+ would like to see more fails

        Comment

        • adlp
          FFR Veteran
          • Jul 2006
          • 1757

          #5
          Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

          white house is filled with pussies right now

          Comment

          • 25thhour
            I like max
            • Feb 2007
            • 2922

            #6
            Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

            USA is in so much debt they might as well go all out say fuck it and build this motherfucker.
            r bae adam bae max bae bridget bae claudia bae trevor bae adam2 bae mayo bae keith bae

            Comment

            • LongGone
              -
              FFR Simfile Author
              • Jul 2008
              • 1679

              #7
              Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

              glorious
              My Solo Simfiles
              My Solo Simfiles Part 2

              Originally posted by Choofers
              people age at a rate of about 1 year per year

              Comment

              • Fluvs
                FFR Veteran
                • Sep 2009
                • 674

                #8
                Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

                Originally posted by 25thhour
                USA is in so much debt they might as well go all out say fuck it and build this motherfucker.
                Oh dang

                Comment

                • Bluearrowll
                  ⊙▃⊙
                  FFR Simfile Author
                  • Nov 2007
                  • 7376

                  #9
                  Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

                  Direct Link to response:
                  1st in Kommisar's 2009 SM Tournament
                  1st in I Love You`s 2009 New Year`s Tournament
                  3rd in EnR's Mashfest '08 tournament
                  5th in Phynx's Unofficial FFR Tournament
                  9th in D3 of the 2008-2009 4th Official FFR Tournament
                  10th in D5 of the 2010 5th Official FFR Tournament
                  10th in D6 of the 2011-2012 6th Official FFR Tournament

                  FMO AAA Count: 71
                  FGO AAA Count: 10

                  Bluearrowll = The Canadian player who can not detect awkward patterns. If it's awkward for most people, it's normal for Terry. If the file is difficult but super straight forward, he has issues. If he's AAAing a FGO but then heard that his favorite Hockey team was losing by a point, Hockey > FFR
                  PS: Cool AAA's Terry
                  - I Love You


                  An Alarm Clock's Haiku
                  beep beep beep beep beep
                  beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
                  beep beep beep beep beep
                  - ieatyourlvllol

                  Comment

                  • FissionMailed1
                    FFR Player
                    • Feb 2012
                    • 1267

                    #10
                    Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

                    "We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers."

                    lmfao


                    YOUR THROBBING MULTIFARIOUS LUSTFUL DESIRES ARE COMPLETED N YOUR HYPER-ORANGE SELF, YOU MAKE ME LOVE AGAIN, YOU'VE CHANGED MY HEART, MY MELANCHOLIA DISAPPEARS WHEN YOU ARE INSIDE OF ME, MY HUMAN RAGE IS TEMPERED WHEN I AM INSIDE YOU, THE SECRET IS COMMUNICATION, LONGEVITY, STAMINA, REPETITION, FURY, SOULFUL KISSING, EARPLUGS. YOU FUCKING CORPORATE COCKS AND CUNTS.

                    MY ANXIETY COMPLETE, MY DESIRE REPLETE, THE TASTE OF ORANGE BLOOD AND CUM AND GREENBACKS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE. THE STREETS WILL RUN ORANGE WITH YOUR MIXTURE OF CHEETOS AND HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS REGURGITATED AND EATEN AND SHIT OUT AGAIN AND EATEN AGAIN.

                    YOU ARE MY SCULPTURE, MY SCULPTRA, MY SELF-DEFINITION. MY DEFINITION OF HUMANITY, MY HARMONY. MY HEART AND MY MIND.

                    YOU ARE SO ORANGE. SO CRUNCHY. SO CONSUMABLE.

                    THE NEW ORANGE UNDERGROUND IS THE ORANGE UP MY ASS. AND YOUR ASS.

                    I LOVE YOU CHEETOS.

                    Comment

                    • Hateandhatred
                      "The Quebec Steparatist."
                      FFR Simfile Author
                      • Feb 2011
                      • 1971

                      #11
                      Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

                      850 millions of billions of dollars is what separated america from being actually kickass. =(

                      Nevertheless, that's hilarious xD
                      Forgot where I put my old sig lol

                      Comment

                      • Crashfan3
                        FFR Player
                        • Nov 2006
                        • 2937

                        #12
                        Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

                        I wonder how the country and the world would react if, as a result of this position, the United States actually began construction on a Death Star? :P

                        Comment

                        • Garquillex
                          FFR Veteran
                          • Oct 2005
                          • 965

                          #13
                          Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

                          Originally posted by Crashfan3
                          I wonder how the country and the world would react if, as a result of this position, the United States actually began construction on a Death Star? :P
                          well it would go bad because I'm pretty sure there's an international agreement to not put weapons into space >_>

                          then it might give North Korea leverage to do something stupid
                          edit: *even more stupid

                          Comment

                          • Crashfan3
                            FFR Player
                            • Nov 2006
                            • 2937

                            #14
                            Re: White house responds to petition for Death Star

                            Well not only that but other civilized countries like Canada, UK, Germany, Japan, etc would all be like "wait... y-you're serious?"

                            Comment

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