Funny exam assessment, answer all questions.

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  • Specforces
    Yes
    • Jan 2004
    • 5028

    #1

    Funny exam assessment, answer all questions.

    This is pretty humorous, read this and try to answer it....

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    Read each question thoroughly. Answer all questions. Time limit: four hours. Begin immediately.

    HISTORY: Describe the history of religion from its origins to the present day, concentrate specifically but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Demonstrate your understanding by creating your own religion and describing its likely impact on world affairs. Be brief, concise and specific.

    LITERATURE: Compose an epic poem based on the events of your own life in which you see and footnote allusions from T.S. Eliot, Keats, Chaucer, Dante, Norse mythology and the Marx brothers. Critique your poem with a full discussion of its metrics.

    MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

    MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

    BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed five hundred years earlier, with special attention to the probable effects on the English Parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

    PSYCHOLOGY: Employing principles from the major schools of psychoanalytic thought, successfully subject yourself to analysis. Make appropriate personality changes, bill yourself and fill out all medical insurance forms. Now do the same to the person seated to your immediate left.

    ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Run for Congress. Build a political power base. Successfully pass your plan and implement it.

    PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2,500 riot-crazed students are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

    PHYSICS: Explain the general theory of relativity. Keep it simple. Now demonstrate the limits of faster-than-light travel through an experiment of your own design.

    AGRICULTURAL SCIENCE: Outline the steps involved in breeding your own super high yield, all weather hybrid strain of wheat. Describe its chemical and physical properties and estimate its impact on world food supplies. Construct a model for dealing with world-wide surpluses. Write your Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

    MATHEMATICS: Give today's date, in metric.

    CHEMISTRY. Transform lead into gold. You will find a beaker and three lead sinkers
    under your seat. Show all work including Feynman diagrams and quantum functions for all steps. You have fifteen minutes.

    POLITICAL SCIENCE: There is a red telephone on the desk behind you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

    PHILOSOPHY: Why? Prove your answers with specific examples. You have five minutes for this activity.

    ** EXTRA CREDIT **

    Define the Universe. Give two examples.
    -----------------------------------------------------------

    Answer at least one.

    Enjoy,

    Specforces
    Check Out My Music
  • lightdarkness
    Summer!!
    • Jul 2003
    • 11308

    #2
    did you come up with this
    or find it somewhere

    Comment

    • FFR Player
      • May 2002
      • 1088

      #3
      3oz. 21m 2004 kilograms, and oh yes, I have successfully created life capable of faster-than-light travel using a slingshot apparatus. World War III is still in the works.

      Comment

      • SephirothFF7
        FFR Player
        • Nov 2003
        • 70

        #4
        Wow...I need to meet the people who made this and congratulate them for totally ruining soemone's life!
        DISGAEA OWNS!

        Comment

        • jazzmosis
          FFR Player
          • Sep 2003
          • 521

          #5
          Biology: I have successfully created life on a molecular scale as of now, but within 9 months it will become a functioning bio-species capable of human thought and emotion in a primitive form. However, given the alotted time of 4 hours, the experimentation is impossible for all to answer, therefore I deem the question and the exam itself insufficeint and structurally flawed. Due to this fact, any form of grading cannot be given for the time span in which is being asked is a structural impossibility without advanced technology. Therefore I refuse to further comment.

          Now if you'll excuse me, I have 2,500 rioting students to shoot.

          Cheerio.

          Originally posted by JurseyRider734
          <3 Jazzoo.

          Comment

          • fusi0n
            FFR Player
            • Nov 2003
            • 2158

            #6
            4:01:54 damn.

            Comment

            • dancingmaniac3
              FFR Player
              • Nov 2003
              • 1873

              #7
              damn. i only understand like 7 of them. the music one is piss easy i can do that no problem. thats fun for me actually. in fact i think ill make one.

              Comment

              • Moogy
                嗚呼
                FFR Simfile Author
                • Aug 2003
                • 10303

                #8
                This is retarded. Don't post crap like this.
                Plz visit my blog

                ^^^ vintage signature from like 2006 preserved

                Comment

                • SephirothFF7
                  FFR Player
                  • Nov 2003
                  • 70

                  #9
                  Maniac...I think the idea is that they don't give you a flute and a drum...just a piano
                  DISGAEA OWNS!

                  Comment

                  • Specforces
                    Yes
                    • Jan 2004
                    • 5028

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Moogy
                    This is retarded. Don't post crap like this.
                    Well now, dear Moogy, when you can post something that is semi-intelligent, come back and then bitch. Until then, shut up and post something constructive.

                    Specforces
                    Check Out My Music

                    Comment

                    • fusi0n
                      FFR Player
                      • Nov 2003
                      • 2158

                      #11
                      moogy doesn't belong in the critical thinking forums

                      Comment

                      • Specforces
                        Yes
                        • Jan 2004
                        • 5028

                        #12
                        I agree.
                        Check Out My Music

                        Comment

                        • cutesaru18
                          FFR Player
                          • Mar 2004
                          • 73

                          #13
                          Moogy...if you hate this, then why even bother posting here?
                          The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

                          Comment

                          • Moogy
                            嗚呼
                            FFR Simfile Author
                            • Aug 2003
                            • 10303

                            #14
                            Because it's fun to irritate people.
                            Plz visit my blog

                            ^^^ vintage signature from like 2006 preserved

                            Comment

                            • dancingmaniac3
                              FFR Player
                              • Nov 2003
                              • 1873

                              #15
                              seph i understand that. i can play the flute and drums. i can play almost any instrument. name it and i can play it. unless its like some instrument no one has heard of except places like africa or something.

                              Comment

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