sighing again
Posted on: September 27, 2007, at 05:55:33pm

(Before I get into anything that I can't stop to interrupt, I wanna say that they won again against Zion Bay City 3-1. Yay them ^^!)

Well, I finally have to say it. I've said to myself a million times already in my dreams, my thoughts, even during school walking down the long, bright hallways after everyone has passed me by, talking about soccer and other stuff...

I can't do this. I am being deprived of everything I enjoyed - my happy feelings of being sweaty yet exilerated from the running about frantically. The feeling of being yourself and the fact that the people whom you've looked up to in secret like the uniqueness in you. The feeling of knowing you did your best and doing really good. The feeling you get when you're feeling... noticed, special, unafraid, and... and happy. Happy, with life and everything that has been given to you in a pretty shiny blue box with a silver bow and a tag that says, "to a certain someone who deserves it. I am proud." I get one of those gifts, more than one, everyday.

It just... during a week like THIS week, it's been really hard to see it, like... like it's disappeared and I can't open it, all for the simple reason of not being able to see it.

That, my FFR people whom I don't even though, is my favorite time to walk out on the porch, and grab my new best friend the tissue box by the hand, and go for a very long walk.

(and by the time i get back, my friend is 1/4th of the way gone ^^)