Bitches ain't sht.
Posted on: October 15, 2007, at 08:48:06am

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.lol

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

1. 1: flipsta_lombax
   Posted at 2:00pm on October 15th, 2007

   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Owned. xDDD
2. 2: DarkbearX
   Posted at 3:57pm on October 15th, 2007

   That bitch is one ho and trick if I ever seen one.
3. 3: MMShadow
   Posted at 7:19am on October 16th, 2007

   EFFING OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNED
   Remeber that face for aslong as you can man, that is the face of someone who got PWNED, nice Turn around man, amazing XP
4. 4: TheDancinZerg
   Posted at 5:55pm on October 16th, 2007

   lolercopter
   eppik
5. 5: Sprite-
   Posted at 11:14pm on October 18th, 2007

   lmfao!!!!
6. 6: MI4 REAL
   Posted at 11:38pm on October 18th, 2007

   LOL!
   LOL!!!
7. 7: Suicidalfatman
   Posted at 2:00am on October 19th, 2007

   1000/10 suicidalfatman points for it being 1000% true plus its funny :D
8. 8: knuckles2224
   Posted at 3:34am on October 27th, 2007

   XDDDD