**FEEDBACK**
....please and thank you.....
alrighty....this is actually..kind of a "script" for my comic. my more interesting than a simple script. therefore, there area few things lacking from a normal story such as in-depth character, setting descriptions since all of that will be illustrated.
this is the first issue or "chapter", please read it, tell me what you think. most places i post this it gets lame comments or just ignored entirely. so yeah feedback is desperately needed.
---------
What is this thing?
This thing that makes us so different...
This thing that has the power to curse you with the burden of unwanted responsibility.
It marks us as different.
As destined to rise and be something more than normal.
Destined to change the world.
To venture into the Unknown.
-Unknown-
Volume 1: Origins
Chapter 1
Migraines
*beep*
*beep*
*beep*
I heard the alarm. I wanted to ignore it. But I knew it wouldn't do any good.
I turned it off and woke up.
It's 7:05
My name is Lyle Beckett.
I'm late for school and I have a headache. Not the incentive I need to prevent another absence.
I dragged myself out of bed and got ready. It's not like anyone else will do it. My parents don't wake up this early. I won't have to do this for much longer though. My senior year is coming to a close. It's already April. I have no idea what I'm going to do after this. I doubt I'll get into any college with the grades I've gathered for myself.
As I prepared to walk out the door, a strange sensation occured. To elaborate, it felt like someone was digging a shovel into my head and wrenching out my brain. I collapsed against a wall clutching my head, nearly screaming. It was the worst headache i've ever had.Forget school, my brain is about to burst. Pain is pulsing through my head.
Finally it subsides...
I lay on the floor against the wall, breathing hard. It was the most intense pain I had ever felt. I felt something running out of my nose onto my lip.
Blood...
My nose was bleeding...I wasn't sure what to do. But the bleeding stopped.
This is certainly the best excuse I've had to stay home in my life.
Despite the oppurtunity, I got in my car and drove to school, wondering what had just happened to me, if i should go to a doctor, and how much that would cost.
I live in Queens, New York. It's 2008. The sky is gray and dreary. Sometimes I wonder if it's my feelings that reflect the sky, or if it's the sky that reflects my feelings. I suppose the latter is a bit egotistical.
So I occupy myself with the possibility of sneaking into school to avoid the impending truancy. After toying with the idea, I decided I didn't have enough motivation.
So I took the hit. It wasn't the first. And I doubt it's the last.
And so, the endless cycle began. I parked. Walked in the building. Signed in. There was someone in the attendence office already. His name is Jason. He looks like the typical troubled youth. Long hair, goatee, snake bite. Black clothing. And a motorcycle.
He bumped into me on his way out. It was an accident. I think.
I said "Sorry"
I walked to my locker, then headed to class.
Again. The headache. This time it hit me like a blow to the head. I literally staggered and slammed against a locker. The contents attached to the inside door tumbled down and rattled against it. It was even worse this time. But it was shorter. There was something
else too...like a white noise in my head...This wasn't a good sign. Something could be seriously wrong with me. Like a tumor or anuerysm.
I didn't like the options I laid out.
I sat through the next few periods hoping it wouldn't happen again. I wasn't paying attention to anything my teachers were saying.
Nothing like the status quo.
------------------------
My name is Jason Tucker.
I had the dream again. I can never remember what happens in the dream. All I know is that it happened. I wake up sweating...breathing hard. Deathly afraid of some unknown threat. The worst part is that I'm afraid that......somehow it's going to come true. That whatever
happens is unavoidable. Inevitable.
And it'll be my fault.
By the time I manage to get myself together, I'm close to being late for school. I should just stay home. I know...it's a bad idea.
I drove my bike. I've had it for about 3 years. And by the way, it's a motorcycle. Not a bicycle for those who are stupid enough to think so. BMW R1200S. Fastest bike you'll ever see. With a few minor adjustments I've made myself of course. That's one of my forte's.
Motorcycles. She's a beauty. I've been working on her for about 2 of the 3 years now, customizing. Brand new paint job too.
Well it turns out I am late. So i sign in my name and walk out. I accidently bump into someone. I think it was Beckett.
I said "Sorry."
He's not the kind of kid I normally hang around with. Though I don't normally hand around with many people. He was the classic nerd I guess. He has brown hair that hangs down in his face. And glasses. I...don't know why I'm focusing on him right now.
I don't even know him.
But I feel like I do...or...I will.
I passed the feeling away with the reminder that I don't like people. One of the only people I can remotely stand is my girlfriend Nikki.
It's 8:15.
"Gonna be a long day..."
-----------------------
They're getting worse. Closer and closer together. more painful and piercing than the next. I had to excuse myself from every class I've had so far.
It's mid-day. I don't feel like eating. I have a bottle of Advil in my pocket, but how much that's going to do for me I'm really unsure of. I was walking through the hallways to the cafeteria, when not so suddenly, it hit me again. I need to go home. I can't stand this
anymore, I need to leave NOW. I leaned against the wall to try to get my balance.
And then...
"what is wrong with him? leaning against the wall like that. Move it dumbass, you're in my way..."
I looked around to see which jerk said that but...It was weird. It didnt seem like it came from...anywhere. Right on cue the pain was replaced by the fuzzy white noise.
Something...is definately wrong with me.
-----
It's after lunch. I'm leaving early. The pain is constant now. It used to be that the pain would come in sequences. But now the pain is always present, and the intense pain comes in sequences. I gave it my best shot, but I can't handle it anymore. I'm going to go home and
tak-....
I hit the ground before I knew I was falling. I landed on my arm the wrong way. It sprained. I couldn't see anything. I blacked out. My body was seizing up and writhing.
But my mind...I can't begin to explain it. I...it was like it had suddenly been wrenched open and I was aware of everything around me! It was like my mind was enlightened. I could understand anything and everything!
Then...something amazing happened. I heard a voice in my head. It was a teacher...i think. Her voice was in my head. It felt just like when i was going to the cafeteria. She was talking about the effects of a Bimetallic Standard on our economoy. Why? Why am I able to
hear this. Then another voice. This one...is different. It wasn't out loud. And then it hit me. This voice was som--
And then...nothing.
---------------------
I'm sitting in History class while the teacher drones on about the "lesson". Nature calls.
I get up and leave the room to go to the lav. The lav's are...well they dont make you feel clean. Sometimes I wonder what the janitors do, cause they obviously aren't cleaning.
So I do my business and head back to class. I round the corner, and there's Beckett writhing on the floor.
"Beckett...? You alright man?" I said.
He wouldn't answer, he just kept seizing up.
"BECKETT!" I ran over and grabbed him by the shoulders. Blood was running down his face and from his nose and ears. His eyes were rolled back into his head.
"Oh my God..." I whispered.
I ran to the nearest classroom. "Somebody help! It's Beckett I think he's having some kind of seizure!!" I ran back to him.
"Lyle! Snap out of it man!"
And then I knew what was happeneing to him. Because all of a sudden he was in my head. He was screaming "What is happening, MAKE IT STOP! IT'S TOO MUCH!" He was screaming it over and over again in his mind, "MAKE IT STOP". And it was in my head. I didn't know what was happening. And then the screaming stopped.
Everything around me was tuned out.
"It will happen. And it will be your fault."
....please and thank you.....
alrighty....this is actually..kind of a "script" for my comic. my more interesting than a simple script. therefore, there area few things lacking from a normal story such as in-depth character, setting descriptions since all of that will be illustrated.
this is the first issue or "chapter", please read it, tell me what you think. most places i post this it gets lame comments or just ignored entirely. so yeah feedback is desperately needed.
---------
What is this thing?
This thing that makes us so different...
This thing that has the power to curse you with the burden of unwanted responsibility.
It marks us as different.
As destined to rise and be something more than normal.
Destined to change the world.
To venture into the Unknown.
-Unknown-
Volume 1: Origins
Chapter 1
Migraines
*beep*
*beep*
*beep*
I heard the alarm. I wanted to ignore it. But I knew it wouldn't do any good.
I turned it off and woke up.
It's 7:05
My name is Lyle Beckett.
I'm late for school and I have a headache. Not the incentive I need to prevent another absence.
I dragged myself out of bed and got ready. It's not like anyone else will do it. My parents don't wake up this early. I won't have to do this for much longer though. My senior year is coming to a close. It's already April. I have no idea what I'm going to do after this. I doubt I'll get into any college with the grades I've gathered for myself.
As I prepared to walk out the door, a strange sensation occured. To elaborate, it felt like someone was digging a shovel into my head and wrenching out my brain. I collapsed against a wall clutching my head, nearly screaming. It was the worst headache i've ever had.Forget school, my brain is about to burst. Pain is pulsing through my head.
Finally it subsides...
I lay on the floor against the wall, breathing hard. It was the most intense pain I had ever felt. I felt something running out of my nose onto my lip.
Blood...
My nose was bleeding...I wasn't sure what to do. But the bleeding stopped.
This is certainly the best excuse I've had to stay home in my life.
Despite the oppurtunity, I got in my car and drove to school, wondering what had just happened to me, if i should go to a doctor, and how much that would cost.
I live in Queens, New York. It's 2008. The sky is gray and dreary. Sometimes I wonder if it's my feelings that reflect the sky, or if it's the sky that reflects my feelings. I suppose the latter is a bit egotistical.
So I occupy myself with the possibility of sneaking into school to avoid the impending truancy. After toying with the idea, I decided I didn't have enough motivation.
So I took the hit. It wasn't the first. And I doubt it's the last.
And so, the endless cycle began. I parked. Walked in the building. Signed in. There was someone in the attendence office already. His name is Jason. He looks like the typical troubled youth. Long hair, goatee, snake bite. Black clothing. And a motorcycle.
He bumped into me on his way out. It was an accident. I think.
I said "Sorry"
I walked to my locker, then headed to class.
Again. The headache. This time it hit me like a blow to the head. I literally staggered and slammed against a locker. The contents attached to the inside door tumbled down and rattled against it. It was even worse this time. But it was shorter. There was something
else too...like a white noise in my head...This wasn't a good sign. Something could be seriously wrong with me. Like a tumor or anuerysm.
I didn't like the options I laid out.
I sat through the next few periods hoping it wouldn't happen again. I wasn't paying attention to anything my teachers were saying.
Nothing like the status quo.
------------------------
My name is Jason Tucker.
I had the dream again. I can never remember what happens in the dream. All I know is that it happened. I wake up sweating...breathing hard. Deathly afraid of some unknown threat. The worst part is that I'm afraid that......somehow it's going to come true. That whatever
happens is unavoidable. Inevitable.
And it'll be my fault.
By the time I manage to get myself together, I'm close to being late for school. I should just stay home. I know...it's a bad idea.
I drove my bike. I've had it for about 3 years. And by the way, it's a motorcycle. Not a bicycle for those who are stupid enough to think so. BMW R1200S. Fastest bike you'll ever see. With a few minor adjustments I've made myself of course. That's one of my forte's.
Motorcycles. She's a beauty. I've been working on her for about 2 of the 3 years now, customizing. Brand new paint job too.
Well it turns out I am late. So i sign in my name and walk out. I accidently bump into someone. I think it was Beckett.
I said "Sorry."
He's not the kind of kid I normally hang around with. Though I don't normally hand around with many people. He was the classic nerd I guess. He has brown hair that hangs down in his face. And glasses. I...don't know why I'm focusing on him right now.
I don't even know him.
But I feel like I do...or...I will.
I passed the feeling away with the reminder that I don't like people. One of the only people I can remotely stand is my girlfriend Nikki.
It's 8:15.
"Gonna be a long day..."
-----------------------
They're getting worse. Closer and closer together. more painful and piercing than the next. I had to excuse myself from every class I've had so far.
It's mid-day. I don't feel like eating. I have a bottle of Advil in my pocket, but how much that's going to do for me I'm really unsure of. I was walking through the hallways to the cafeteria, when not so suddenly, it hit me again. I need to go home. I can't stand this
anymore, I need to leave NOW. I leaned against the wall to try to get my balance.
And then...
"what is wrong with him? leaning against the wall like that. Move it dumbass, you're in my way..."
I looked around to see which jerk said that but...It was weird. It didnt seem like it came from...anywhere. Right on cue the pain was replaced by the fuzzy white noise.
Something...is definately wrong with me.
-----
It's after lunch. I'm leaving early. The pain is constant now. It used to be that the pain would come in sequences. But now the pain is always present, and the intense pain comes in sequences. I gave it my best shot, but I can't handle it anymore. I'm going to go home and
tak-....
I hit the ground before I knew I was falling. I landed on my arm the wrong way. It sprained. I couldn't see anything. I blacked out. My body was seizing up and writhing.
But my mind...I can't begin to explain it. I...it was like it had suddenly been wrenched open and I was aware of everything around me! It was like my mind was enlightened. I could understand anything and everything!
Then...something amazing happened. I heard a voice in my head. It was a teacher...i think. Her voice was in my head. It felt just like when i was going to the cafeteria. She was talking about the effects of a Bimetallic Standard on our economoy. Why? Why am I able to
hear this. Then another voice. This one...is different. It wasn't out loud. And then it hit me. This voice was som--
And then...nothing.
---------------------
I'm sitting in History class while the teacher drones on about the "lesson". Nature calls.
I get up and leave the room to go to the lav. The lav's are...well they dont make you feel clean. Sometimes I wonder what the janitors do, cause they obviously aren't cleaning.
So I do my business and head back to class. I round the corner, and there's Beckett writhing on the floor.
"Beckett...? You alright man?" I said.
He wouldn't answer, he just kept seizing up.
"BECKETT!" I ran over and grabbed him by the shoulders. Blood was running down his face and from his nose and ears. His eyes were rolled back into his head.
"Oh my God..." I whispered.
I ran to the nearest classroom. "Somebody help! It's Beckett I think he's having some kind of seizure!!" I ran back to him.
"Lyle! Snap out of it man!"
And then I knew what was happeneing to him. Because all of a sudden he was in my head. He was screaming "What is happening, MAKE IT STOP! IT'S TOO MUCH!" He was screaming it over and over again in his mind, "MAKE IT STOP". And it was in my head. I didn't know what was happening. And then the screaming stopped.
Everything around me was tuned out.
"It will happen. And it will be your fault."
I really hope the drawings are good.
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