Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
Stolen.
Stolen.
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"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel:
Maledictions: The Offering.
Now in Paperback! -
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Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
If you ever combine this all i'd love to have a copy! I'm reading chapter one... That's just halarious!Comment
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Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
I LOVE THE STORY SO FAR! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S STOLEN OR NOT! I WANNA READ CHAPTER 14!
*foams from mouth*We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.Originally posted by Choofers
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Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
Chapter 14:
“You, you’re that kid.” Engler responded in his usual ultra-low voice, “I know about you.”
In only a day, Engler had managed to heal every wound he had received from his previous fights. His body appeared to be in perfect shape, and every muscle seemed to be in perfect tone and shape. Engler’s hair was now in a different style than before. There was none of the normal hair that covered one eye, or emo hair, as many of the FFR denizens condemned it to be. Instead, thin slivers of shadows curved upward from the surface of his head. GamerShadow could only see Engler’s figure when a bolt of lightning shot down from the skies above.
“Of course you do,” GamerShadow bitterly spat back at Engler, “You, of all things would know.”
“Oh?” Engler began to have interest in where this was going. “And why do you suppose I know so much about you? You could merely be making an empty claim after all, an-”
“Stop screwing with me,” GamerShadow cut off Engler in the harshest tone, “you know very well what you did.” His fists began to whiten as they tensed even further at the sides of their master. “After you were imprisoned, you knew that some idiot would come along with an unmarked challenge. You knew that you didn’t have to escape from your prison. You just had to sit back and wait until somebody else started the jailbreak for you.”
Engler knew exactly what GamerShadow was talking about. He didn’t want him knowing that, however, because then the anger and rage inside would be unleashed upon him. And from what Engler could tell, this kid was here for the kill, and nothing more. He stood silently with his arms crossed, and his tendril hair in constant movement. He would wait out the long-winded teenager, and then beat him to a pulp as soon as he made the foolish first move, and the single fatal mistake.
“That unlucky person happened to be me. I forgot to write the name of the recipient on the challenge envelope, and you were set free as a result. That experience was horrifying. Just like you did with Engler, you entered my body and attempted to possess me like some toy.” GamerShadow grinned and chuckled, and continued. “But you failed. I don’t remember it, obviously, but I somehow managed to drive you out and seal you back up. However, that deed came at a price. Not only did you learn everything there was to know about me, from personality to past knowledge to physical properties, but you also cursed me with the same piece of **** powers that you now possess.”
Engler watched as the expression on GamerShadow’s face reverted back to the original look of anger that he had brought with him. There was something more behind the emotional mask that he was currently wearing though, something that appeared to be both lonely and depressed. It was deprived in more ways than one; unable to have things that no being should go without.
“Once people had received wind of what had happened, I suddenly was the symbol of evil and darkness. Not a single person would talk to me, recognize me, or even wave to me. They only stared with hardened eyes, eyes that clearly wanted you dead. Within days, I was kicked out of my home, and everything I had was destroyed and burned. People celebrated at this event, claiming that the evil that plagued their land was finally gone.”
Engler mused at this intriguing tale, becoming more interested in what the boy had to say. He did not show his piqued interest, but he was certainly inclined to listen to more. After all, his plans could wait another five minutes or so. There was no rush in killing the boy and destroying the world he had been cursed by.
“I was an outcast, doomed to live off of the wild. I retreated into the woods for quite a long time, where I decided to make the best of my situation. I practiced day in and day out, and honed my powers, which I had found to be rather extensive. I used my ability to manipulate the shadows which line the ground to kill anything that crossed my path, whether it was a noob, or an animal.”
GamerShadow’s expression lightened a bit and his fists seemed to relax by a marginal amount. Blood rushed back into his fingertips, which gradually began to restore their original beige color, and the feeling of new life in his hands was one that gave him a bit of a thrill.
“Finally, after countless suns and moons, I was discovered training by a pond by a person who I would soon know as Specforces. Obviously, he did not recognize me in my rather filthy wildlife state, and offered to take me in for a while in exchange for my services. Reluctantly, I agreed, and went back with him to The Garbage Bin, which was where he lived. At first, I did not leave his property, for the risk of being burned at the stake. I mainly did grunt work at first, which ranged from cleaning the mansion to keeping watch over the manor.”
A flash of lightning ignited the morose obsidian skies, which shortly after erupted with a crash of thunderous wrath. The winds swirled the clouds that rode them into a very cramped position that sat above the grand palace of shadows which Engler had constructed for himself. Neither of the two occupants of the palace took note of the seemingly orchestrated change in the weather. Each was focused on the other. Neither would let the opportunity for ambush slip through their fingers, and thus they repulsed everything around them, closing their minds from everything but the task at hand. However, GamerShadow continued to speak. He was paying no mind to the speech; consonants and vowels simply flowed from his mouth in a rhythmical pattern that nearly mesmerized Engler, and kept his attention through the whole speech.
“I bid my time,” GamerShadow continued, “until I decided that it was safe at last to come out once again. With some help from Specforces, who I had come to know somewhat well, I was accepted back into the community. Still, I knew I had to do more in order to restore my former position. And when I heard that you had returned, I knew that this was the opportunity for revenge. Finding you was ridiculously easy. I didn’t even have to try. You leave a path of destruction wherever you happen to travel, so I simply followed the trail of corpses and arrived here. You really should have been more careful.” He nodded to indicate the end of his long-winded speech.
“Quite the long story you have.” Engler smirked, and decided in his mind that the games were over. It was time to kill the boy and destroy the world. “But I am getting bored. See if you can entertain me, boy. Maybe I’ll kill you nice and slow.”
“Well then, Engler." GamerShadow shifted his posture and entered a defensive stance. “Let's see how easy it is for you to keep your word.” He then summoned two shadow tendrils from his back and grasped them as if they were solid weapons. His face proved that he was focused on only one thing, and that was killing Engler. His eyebrows were constant and did not waver from their positions, and his arms were tense and spring-loaded.
Engler replied with a stance of his own, but his was clearly used for more aggressive fighting styles. He was radiating with power, and the indigo aura that few had seen was currently present. Engler decided to unsheathe two tendrils of his own, except his were based in the ground rather than in his body. “You have already made a foolish and fatal mistake.” he taunted without changing his position of facial expression, “Anything that your shadows feel will be transferred into your body as well. However, I will not feel a thing. I shall enjoy cutting you down and putting you in your place before finishing my original task. Come! We fight.”
Engler made the first move. He leapt forward, and whipped the tendril to his left towards his opponent's arm, while positioning his right tendril in a prime blocking position. GamerShadow responded to this by moving his right tendril to block the assaulting shadow. As soon as the two shadows collided, GamerShadow realized that Engler was right. He did feel anything that the tendrils felt. A forceful pushing sensation coursed throughout his body, but he quickly dismissed it and snapped his right shadow at Engler's face, trying to end the battle as quickly as possible. Engler merely leaned to his right and watched the blur of color skim just over his face, and then stepped into a countermeasure of his own, one which exploited GamerShadow’s vulnerable position while avoiding any real attack from his opponent. A quick jab to the gut killed GamerShadow’s next attack, and a follow up strike sent him reeling backwards a few feet.
Engler grinned wickedly as GamerShadow pierced the ground with his right shadow and dug into it in order to stop his backward momentum. As expected, the scraping pain shot through his body, and caused him to lean over slightly to his right from reflex. However, he lifted the tendril, and charged right back into the fray. A one-foot, counterclockwise rotational maneuver both dodged Engler’s preemptive straight shot shadow jab and created an opening for GamerShadow to strike. He took advantage of this by quickly sharpening the edges of his right shadow, and slashing a fairly deep wound in Engler’s left arm. Engler ignored the blood that was now running down his arm in a rivulet of crimson and dripping onto various places on the stone tile floor, and attempted to strike GamerShadow where Engler figured was his opponent’s most vulnerable spot. To his surprise, the attack was parried by a second shadow, the one in GamerShadow’s left hand. GamerShadow planted his left foot and kneed Engler in the stomach with an explosive force that almost made him lose his lunch. Before a second strike could be landed, Engler shifted into his intangible form. GamerShadow, who had not expected that Engler could do such a thing, slipped and fell onto the floor, but quickly shifted into his familiar shadow form, and melted into the ground.
Engler reappeared in his solid form and noticed that GamerShadow was gone from the room. Immediately, he looked downward and jumped high into the air, expecting an attack from underground. However, none came. Instead, Engler felt a mighty blow to his upper back, which slammed him onto the firm tile back first. Just before GamerShadow could land a finishing blow on his opponent, Engler, from his face-up position, forcefully kicked his opponent across the room before raising himself and preparing for the next tactic to be thrown his way.
GamerShadow planted his feet on the wall to prevent himself from getting knocked out too soon, and allowed himself to fall from his position onto the floor. “A minor sacrifice. It shouldn’t affect me that much.” he figured as he rolled back up and faced his opponent, who was also applying the same tactic. “But still. Engler is powerful, but I don’t think I’m seeing everything that I want to see. Guess it’s time to up the ante and really go all out.”
Engler continued to stall, knowing that he clearly had the upper hand. He watched for any sudden movements, as well as any traps that might be launched at this point in the fight. After all, his opponent wasn’t using everything he had been granted.
“Okay, Engler.” GamerShadow tensed up and brought a good deal of power to the surface, “Round two. Let’s go.” The two shadows that previously protruded from his body had suddenly retracted and disappeared. GamerShadow dashed forward and slammed his fist into the ground. Engler recognized the technique, and knew that he would finally face GamerShadow whilst going all out. Engler surged a burst of energy into his legs, and leapt to a humongous height while a plethora of shadow tendrils broke through the stone tile below, and attempted to stab anything that was in the vicinity before retracting and disappearing.
GamerShadow had predicted Engler’s evasive move, and had dashed to the wall that sat to his right, and kicked off of it in order to gain enough height to tether Engler by the ankle, and slam him down into the ground. The tile cracked and broke under the force of the throw, and Engler fell to the floor below. GamerShadow deftly transfigured himself into his shadow form in mid-air, stopping his momentum, and twisted and drilled down right above Engler’s position on the floor below.
Engler had regained his footing at this point, and was able to cleanly evade the spear-pointed shadow that shot right through the floor and blew up a huge cloud of dust, along with heavy amounts of debris. To his surprise, GamerShadow was back up rather quickly after the assault which he had figured would create tons of recoil.
Now knowing his opponent could barrage an assault of attacks that quickly, Engler figured that in order to win, he had to cut off his opponent’s momentum, which was becoming rather dangerous at this point. He dashed forward, and shifted into intangibility just before he collided into GamerShadow, and ended up running straight through him. The maneuver worked perfectly, as GamerShadow had to stop and think over what had just occurred before regaining his focus. This gave Engler enough time to reappear, and slam his elbow into GamerShadow’s back, which sent him forward a few feet.
With a surprising show of speed, Engler caught his opponent before they could hit the ground, and dished out a powerful uppercut that sent GamerShadow high into the air, helpless to resist or prevent the combo. Engler’s next follow up move was to grapple GamerShadow with two shadow arms, and toss him right into the wall that made up the side of the building itself. Finally, Engler decided to trap his opponent against the wall by forming rings made of shadows, and imprisoning his opponent with them.
GamerShadow took a second to come to after being battered around with such force. His mind had to reawaken itself before it could register what had happened. GamerShadow looked down at his limbs, which he thought were suspended in the air. In a way, they were. His bloodied, battle-scarred arms and legs were bound to the stone wall by the shadow braces that Engler had crafted. They glowed with an eerie indigo, and even with an effort to escape, they would not budge from their spot in the wall. The feeling of imprisonment and uselessness caused GamerShadow to lose his mind with anger. Now, more than ever, he wanted to destroy every last cell in Engler’s body. He wanted to tear him to pieces, and tear the pieces to nothing.
Engler was about to begin the final attack, which would put his opponent out of his misery when he noticed something rather strange. The indigo glow was not confined to the braces alone. It had spread throughout GamerShadow’s body, and if Engler was correct, then his opponent had developed something that even Engler did not have yet.
GamerShadow’s body continued to emanate the indigo glow, which was becoming brighter and more powerful. Engler began to back away from the monstrous power that was being built up. He took three steps back, and was taken aback by shock when finally, the power that had been gathered was unleashed in an explosive force that blew up not only the wall that helped hold GamerShadow captive, but a quarter of the building was blown apart in a thunderous bang that put the lightning in the clouds above to shame. Engler was thrown back quite a distance by the strength of the blast, and had to drop down to the land on which the destroyed manor sat in order to not be killed. Now all Engler had to do was sit out the blast and wait until his opponent came to him. He was in no rush to kill the boy, and at this point, it was only a matter of time.
In the skies of Chit Chat, GuidoHunter barely noticed an indigo sphere erupt from a very far distance away from the corner of his eye. Immediately, Guido dismissed it, and continued searching for where he thought Engler was hiding. It wasn’t until the sound from the explosion reached Guido’s ears did he know that Engler was at the location from which the sphere originated.
“Engler,” he thought as he stopped his mech, reversed his direction, and flew down towards the collapsing building, “you won’t make it out of here alive. Not with what you did to Shash. I’m going to personally make sure of that.”Note to self Finish.Comment
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Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
I have stolen it, is what I meant. You're probably in the clear, though."A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel:
Maledictions: The Offering.
Now in Paperback!Comment
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Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
Probably? This draft sucks so hard that I wouldn't want to piss on it if it were the last available spot to piss on in the entire Earth. You would be doing a great writer such as yourself a huge disservice by claiming that flaming piece of trash as your own. Plus, it's probably only half done.Note to self Finish.Comment
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Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
Oh, hey. Even though it's no Hemingway (Alert - discard, he was a drunk. An eloquent drunk, but still) it's entertaining. And that, for me, is the priority as a writer. To entertain. The first draft is written to get the story out - that's for yourself. The second draft should be for everyone else, you know?
But I usually put my first drafts on here, because I enjoy criticism/praise. And I usually never get around to doing a second draft.
So... I don't know where I was going with this.
But keep it up."A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel:
Maledictions: The Offering.
Now in Paperback!Comment
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Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
I disagree, It looks more like some type of communist Sub-division.
Oh sure delete the post above mine to make me look like im talking to myself. ThanksAAA's = 800
Originally posted by VComment
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Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
I have started Chapter 15, but because I am suddenly finding myself waist deep in schoolwork, I will not be able to finish the Chapter for a while. I will work on it in bits and pieces, and will post it as soon as it is complete. =)
Edit: Due to being kicked off of the internet for 4 weeks, I am not able to update the story. However, I am still working on it, so do not even think for a second that this is dead. When I post the next chapter, please do not lock this topic.
Thank you. =)Last edited by GamerShadow; 03-9-2008, 10:24 AM.Note to self Finish.Comment
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Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
4 weeks?
someone failed a classComment
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Re: FFR: The Phantom Challenge
Actually, a D+ in Algebra II. And it's midquarters, meaning that I have 4 weeks to raise my grade.
I'm probably already at a C. =PNote to self Finish.Comment
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