Should men open doors for women?

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

Holding doors open for people is an intirely different senerio. Your there, the doors open, why not be nice when you have the easy opputunity.

Explain to me how this can't apply to opening doors for ladies. I'm there. I'm going to open the door for myself. Why not allow her to pass through instead of having to open a door by herself?

If you're in a crowd of people, or just walking behind someone who keeps it open behind them long enough for you to grab on, then no spoken thank you is required.

That's not exactly considered holding a door for someone if they then have to bear it.

I personally find it annoying when someone holds the door open for me and I'm far enough away that I feel like I have to sort of speed up to catch hold of it and am then obliged to thank them.

But when someone holds the door for you in that situation, they must understand that they've undertaken the responsibility of holding that door until the person enters it at their own pace (as when the person behind the holder is seen by the holder, the distance is gauged and the decision of whether or not he's far enough away to let the door shut without problem is made).

What I'm saying is that you don't need to speed up at all in that case. If you do, you do it out of consideration for the person holding the door. In return, you get the door held for you. You're both even.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[talisman]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

I consider it a form of holding the door open, because you could just as easily not hold it open long enough for them to grab on to it, causing irritation when they must halt to open the now closed or partially closed door.

And what I'm saying is, quit looking behind you to see where I am and then no one is put into an awkward position of forced gratitude. Just keep the door open as long as it takes for you to pass through it, and you've done all that you need to do, as far as I'm concerned.

[UberMario]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

I'd hold the door open for anyone that's behind me. If it's a crowd or a family behind me, I hold the door open until they're all past. It isn't dependancy because EVERYONE knows doors aren't hard to open nor hard to hold open or anything, it's just a ****ing common courtesy that some women think it's a big degrading measure when it's just kindness. This topic sickens me because I don't really give a **** about holding a door open, it's just a nice thing to do. I've never met anyone here that was like "don't hold the door open for me, you sack of ****" or anything, no one I met actually took it like an insult, it's just making it so the door doesnt swing back at them.

**** this topic irritates me.

[Risking]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

In my opinion, yes. You should, it's only the polite thing to do. I've made it a habit to hold the door for almost everyone, really. It's no biggie.

[kylehaas]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

yep. i always do.

[Reach]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

I guess it depends on the persons personal position on this.


I know I always hold the door open for people after I have opened it if they are near the door, man or woman. I always thank people when they do the same for me. If I know the woman, sometimes I will open the door and step to the side, letting them enter first. I don't really think much about it, it's just something I do to be nice. If someone did it for me I would thank them, naturally...I wouldn't find it 'degrading' but just...nice. As I see it if I hand out favors then other people will naturally do the same, and we can all be nice to eachother rather than simply having everyone tend to themselves.

However, lots of people still don't hold the door XD

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

all that you need to do

Important word bolded.

Opening and holding doors are themselves more than you need to do. The whole issue is about doing more than that which is expected. People WANT to do more than they need to.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[SulferDragon]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

Explain to me how this can't apply to opening doors for ladies. I'm there. I'm going to open the door for myself. Why not allow her to pass through instead of having to open a door by herself?

Okay, I said things a little differently then I meant to. I guess if you're right there it's fine, but I meant going out of the way to open a door.

[talisman]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

Hey, my system isn't entirely selfish, and you're misinterpreting it by using the word "need" in that context. Because, technically, all you "need" to do is walk through the door and forget about everyone else. I hold it open and keep it open as long as I'm walking through it. No one can fault me for that, and no one needs to thank me for that. In my mind it's the perfect medium between doing the bare minimum to satisfy only your needs and the absolute maximum to satisfy everyone else's.

ot, but I feel like this debate could have been an episode of seinfeld.

[TeenawRocks]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

As long as you don't slam the doors in their faces then you're fine.

[JasonKey]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

1 word .. yes.

[jamuko]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

I agree with the general idea of keeping a door open for someone if they are behind you, no matter what, and thanking people who do the same for you.

Recently I held the door for a random stranger to be nice, and she just waltzed on through ahead of me like she owned the place and didn't even smile or mutter a word to me. That was irritating.

On the flip side, I do sometimes feel annoyed if a guy INSISTS on opening the door for me and refuses to go in before I do; I haven't encountered as much of this in my peers, but my dad does this. When I am ahead of him going toward a door, my tendency is to open it and hold it to be nice, but he said it was insulting to a man for a girl to hold it open for him, and that they should always go in first.

I don't know, even as a girl I find it annoying to get random "privileges" for no reason. I don't feel like I deserve any special treatment just for being female, so I'd rather hold doors and have them held for me in relatively equal amounts. It's only fair that way.

[Izzy-chandess]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

I believe that the door should be held open for women on special occasions, such as a fancy dinner or your wedding or something to that matter, where it would be cute and romantic to do such a thing. However, if repeated too often, if you're dating someone that feels she must be independent, don't do it that often. Let her open the door.

Still, I agree with plenty of people that it's just generally a considerate thing to do.

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

On the flip side, I do sometimes feel annoyed if a guy INSISTS on opening the door for me and refuses to go in before I do; I haven't encountered as much of this in my peers, but my dad does this. When I am ahead of him going toward a door, my tendency is to open it and hold it to be nice, but he said it was insulting to a man for a girl to hold it open for him, and that they should always go in first.

I ask that you allow your father that simple pleasure. Chivalry and such isn't a one-sided deal. It requires the guys to do the various things and the girls to expect them to do it. If you look at it that way, one might be able to see how it can be slightly insulting in a "what, you don't think I can or want to do something for you?" kind of way, I guess. Or he might mean that it's an affront to his manhood. Either way, guys shouldn't exactly feel insulted about that, much like girls shouldn't feel insulted if someone does that for them.

But yeah, some guys live for that kind of stuff, and if you stand in front of a door, waiting for it to be opened for you, it might fill someone with joy. My parents scold me if ever I let Amanda get into my car by herself, and I thank them for that.

I don't know, even as a girl I find it annoying to get random "privileges" for no reason. I don't feel like I deserve any special treatment just for being female, so I'd rather hold doors and have them held for me in relatively equal amounts. It's only fair that way.

And I think the idea of gender equality is stupid. Not to be insulting or anything (in fact, I don't mean to be condescending or insulting at all in my post, but my words themselves may not have entirely conveyed that sentiment), but the world can function completely happily if men and women aren't treated 100% equally in every single sector of life.

From my point of view: I feel like you DO deserve special treatment just for being female. There's no need for fairness in these situations, so why have it at all?

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[MrPoptart]

Re: Should men open doors for women?

i hold the door open for women, for men, it really doesnt matter to me, i just do it to be nice somtimes, but i dont insist apon it.
however if a women gets all mad or upset because i didnt hold the door open for them.... pfff... skrew you... you have arms...