Best/Deepest poem ever. Discuss

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  • darktoaster
    FFR Player
    • Sep 2003
    • 23

    #1

    Best/Deepest poem ever. Discuss

    Once upon a time
    I came up with a little rhyme
    So this is it
    I hope that it will be a hit
    There once was a little boat
    But it could not float
    It just sunk
    Because it was missing a big ol' chunk
    Water rushed in
    Through the hull made of tin
    Until it was full
    Forming a big pool
    All of the fishes
    Thought that the wreck was the solution
    To all of their wishes
    Because they were sick of swimming in polution
    They all loved the ship
    And they all felt so hip
    Because they were tired of swimming in sewage
    The fish turned the ship into a disco
    But it was a big risk though
    Because it used enough electricity
    To light a big sign that said Electric Kittie
    That was the name of their club
    Which was run by a mean fish named Bub
    Bub ran the club with an iron fist
    He wouldn't let anyone in who wasn't on his list
    Many fish waited all day
    But he just made them go away
    Some of the dissappointed fishies cried and cried
    Because they were rejected everytime they tried
    Then one day a smart fish named Wubba Wubba
    Decided to start his own club named Hubba Hubba
    Now Big Dubya as he liked to be called
    Was very very bald
    But he did not care
    Because no fish have any hair
    His new club was a hit
    And Big Bub said @&$!
    As he threw a big fit
    Bub made a plan
    To make his club the best in the sea
    He decided that he should start to sell tea
    But then he realized that he was not a man
    And he could not drink tea
    Even if it was in the sea
    The moral to the story is this
    Never drink anything that looks like .....
    That is the end of my story
    And please don't worry
    I will never write anything like that
    Again until you buy me a big fluffy hat
  • tnyhwk900
    FFR Player
    FFR Simfile Author
    • May 2003
    • 4106

    #2
    X_X Ouch. That was bad. Way too much rhyme-forcing.

    Comment

    • flypie743
      FFR Player
      • Jun 2004
      • 3210

      #3
      Weird poem...

      IF YOU ARE THE BOMB YOU WILL CLICK THIS and if you dont, you suck.

      Comment

      • lightdarkness
        Summer!!
        • Jul 2003
        • 11308

        #4
        Nice rhymes.

        Comment

        • jazzmosis
          FFR Player
          • Sep 2003
          • 521

          #5
          That hardly even classifies as a poem. Too much forced rhyming, there's a lack of concrete imagery, and the poem goes nowhere.

          Originally posted by JurseyRider734
          <3 Jazzoo.

          Comment

          • darktoaster
            FFR Player
            • Sep 2003
            • 23

            #6
            You are such a confused little man. What you failed to see was the underlying symbolism found in the poem.

            Comment

            • fusi0n
              FFR Player
              • Nov 2003
              • 2158

              #7
              That sounds like something from Where the Sidewalk Ends. (about as deep as a kiddie pool.)

              Comment

              • SotN
                FFR Player
                • Dec 2002
                • 1159

                #8
                A lost path; alien time
                Familiar route; cellar door


                OH MAN I R TEH BEST.
                209

                Comment

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