The Joke Thread

[rushyrulz]

Re: The Joke Thread

FFRGreen that's mean x.x
Was a delightful story tho.

[tryanothertimeok]

Re: The Joke Thread

What's funnier than a dead baby.

A dead baby in a clown costume.

[rushyrulz]

Re: The Joke Thread

I have tons of dead baby jokes that aren't suitable for FFR lol.

[Crashfan3]

Re: The Joke Thread

All my good jokes are racist, so this will have to do. :/

One evening, a man walks into a bar and orders 3 pints of beer. He drinks them all, pays, and leaves. The next evening he returns and does it again, and again the evening after that.

For about a week he continues to do this before the bartender finally asks, "Why do you order 3 pints of beer every evening?"

The man replies, "I have two brothers who are serving in the military. Before they left, we all agreed that we would drink a pint of beer each night until we're reunited, one for each brother that couldn't be with us, just in case one of us doesn't make it home safe."

So the man continues to do this for a few months until one day he walks in and orders two pints of beer. The bartender notices his change in the usual order, and offers his condolences, but the other man replies, "Oh, no, you don't understand. My brothers are just fine, but my wife told me to quit drinking."

[justin_ator]

Re: The Joke Thread

A man walks into a bar

and says ouch

[rushyrulz]

Re: The Joke Thread

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!
buhdum tss

[MrGiggles]

Re: The Joke Thread

a man walks into a bar

his alcoholism is destroying his family

[MrGiggles]

Re: The Joke Thread

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?

They were my friends.

[Calcium Deposit]

Re: The Joke Thread

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and lightbulb?

You can unscrew the lightbulb.

[A2P]

Re: The Joke Thread

I never fucked a 10...but one night I fucked five 2's!

A man finds a magic lamp on the beach. He rubs it, and a genie pops up and says
"I will grant you 3 wishes. What is your first wish, mortal?"
The man says "I have relatives in Hawaii, but it's too expensive to fly down there. I wish for a bridge connecting from San Fransisco to Hawaii."
The genie slaps the man
"Hey!"
"You fool, I am a genie, I'm not god. Make another wish."
so the man says "Okay...well, my girlfriend is a very loving woman, and I wouldn't trade her for the world. Sometimes though, I can't understand her...hell, I can't understand any woman for that matter *laughs*. Well genie, I wish that I could completely understand my girlfriend at least, so I can help her."














...














"Okay, so you want that bridge 4 lanes or 6?"

[V-Ormix]

Re: The Joke Thread

my friend asked me how many tsunamis it takes to break a nuclear cooling system... I busted out laughing right there. what a terrible joke xD

[m0de]

Re: The Joke Thread

A burglar broke into a home. He heard a soft voice say,"Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again"Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around, saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking. The parrot said yes. He asked the parrot his name, the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said"The same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus!

[Sephiroth28]

Re: The Joke Thread

A burglar broke into a home. He heard a soft voice say,"Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again"Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around, saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking. The parrot said yes. He asked the parrot his name, the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said"The same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus!

Amazing.

[rushyrulz]

Re: The Joke Thread

So there's a blonde a brunette and a redhead (yes it's one of these jokes xD)

After they all died from starvation after being trapped in an elevator, God decided that he would be cruel and ironic whilst deciding their fate. He said, "In front of you is a 100 step staircase. On each step I will tell a joke and they will get increasingly more funny with every step. If you show any signs of laughter at all before you get to the top, you'll go straight to hell."

So the brunette goes first and tries her hardest to not laugh at God's jokes, but on the 37th step, he tells a joke about a green mouse with some blue cheese (**** you FFRGreen) and she bursts out laughing which sends her straight to hell.

The redhead, confident that nothing can make her laugh, almost makes it to halfway before giggling at the funniest dead baby joke ever. A hole opens up in the ground and she plummets straight to hell.

The blonde shows amazing restraint by making it farther than the brunette and the redhead and eventually gets up to the 99th step. Before God even starts to tell his joke, the blonde busts out in tears laughing. "Why are you laughing? I didn't even tell the joke yet. You were so close to getting into my kingdom of heaven..," said God. The blonde replied, "BAHAHAHAHAHAR00flL!!!!1one I just got the first one!"

[phe0nixblade]

Re: The Joke Thread

a dyslexic kid walks into a bra
buhdumtiss