Long distance relationships?

[WTFBrandon]

Re: Long distance relationships?

I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year now...
August 6th will be our 1 year, and I plan to go to see her on that day and stay for a week.
We haven't really had much issues, i went to see her plenty of times and she even came to see me and we've never really had a problem, sure we've had our little arguments but who doesn't?
Being long distance relationship can suck yes... But think about it... If you really love someone and can work your ass off and are willing to wait as long as it takes for them... It's worth it, but that's my 2 cents.
Me and her are constantly talking to each other and when we aren't on webcam talking to each other we are talking some other way. From playing CoD together to watching movies online together. Yes they may not be there in person, but in time it can happen.
But we were always bestfriends before we started dating so we have known each other 3 years and always been like this.

A lot of people have put me down about my girlfriend as well... But who really cares what other people say? If it was their girlfriend/wife or whatever, would they not do the same? Sure there are girls in my area... There are girls all over this ****ing planet, but this one girl happens to be the one I love more than all those other bitches (no offence) she/he obviously singles her/himself out from everyone else or you wouldn't be with that person would you?

But anyways... In conclusion, having a long distance relationship can be good and bad. Yes it sucks they can't be there for you physically, but when that time comes... It's the best feeling to know you're finally with them and you spend every minute as your last (as queer as it sounds) because you FINALLY are with them.
If you're willing to stick it out and wait for them then you're more than fine, as long as they are willing to do the same for you. Rofl. SECONDLY, TRUST is a MAJOR issue... Because if you don't trust someone in a long relationship, it can lead to a lot of doubt and stress. But in all, it's the same thing as a normal relationship. Even normal relationships can have distance problems... As for one, when I was in grade 7 i was dating my first girlfriend and I couldn't see her for the whole summer or even contact her because her parents were hardcore strict with her talking to boys, rofl. If you love someone, you love someone... Even look at some mariges... Guy works nights and woman works days... They don't get to see each other at all even though they live in the same house. Yes they can obviously see each other but you get what I mean...

Anyways... Long distance or short, it won't matter... Because as gay as it sounds, you'll be there regardless of how much time you spend apart or how much time get to communicate with each other. Regardless at the end of the day you'll want to be with them for that one reason that singles them out from everybody else. And even worse... I love my girlfriend more now than I did a couple months ago, and she gets more and more beautiful everyday.

I'M SUCH A ****** LOLOLOL

[Hikaru15]

Re: Long distance relationships?

well personally i am going to be in one soon so i approve of them lol. It always depends on the people and as long as they are both determined then thy can get through it happily lol. I just hope my gf doesnt miss me too much. I may be the clingy in public type but I have a feeling it might be rough for her. Especially if I didnt come back once a month. Eh, its life, what can you do when you live somewhere else and you need to go to college?

[Arch0wl]

Re: Long distance relationships?

I ended up racking up some pretty hefty financial debt from sacrifices I made for the other person. Lost my job at one point even,

Dude, really? Where did you go? That's pretty much my nightmare scenario right now. My girlfriend and I are trying to coordinate grad schools/law schools and I'm shitting my pants at how many things could go wrong. If we can pull it off I'll ask her to marry me, so knowing how much hinges on it is an enormous source of anxiety.

[typing like wat]

Re: Long distance relationships?

I'm also currently in a long distance relationship(a year 3 months 3 days) with an FFR member. We have also had our ups and downs and tbh idk how we lasted this long, i was mostly expecting her to leave me for another and id just end up single again but it seems it won't turn out that way. If you really want to go thru with this then all the power to you man I wish you both the best of luck .

[Panic4Me]

Re: Long distance relationships?

^

I ended up racking up some pretty hefty financial debt from sacrifices I made for the other person. Lost my job at one point even, didn't care as long as I was around her...I look back on it and see how stupid I was being. As much as you love the person, don't let it cloud your judgment.

This is one thing that my boyfriend and I have recently discussed. His life is pretty stable where he is; he has a car (even though it gives him issues), has a nice place to live, and has a decent job that he likes. After moving a lot in the past, he's been set further back in schooling, so he needs to redo a lot of courses that didn't transfer from one place to another. He doesn't want to mess anything up that he's working on and I want him to do what's best for him, even if it means that I have to wait for him for even a few years. Neither of us is financially stable enough to make a huge move like that yet either (between Maryland and New Hampshire), so we've agreed that things between us are going to take some time. Personally, I'm glad that we've been able to talk about it and come to an understanding. I wouldn't want to put myself out there and not be able to take care of everything that I'd need to, and I don't want him to do that either. It's something that definitely needs to be a "Hey hun, let's sit down and figure this out" discussion in LDR so that nothing like what you ended up doing will happen.

[darkshark]

Re: Long distance relationships?

Yeah I was driving about 600 miles every month from California to Oregon, would spend a week or two there at a time. At the time my only form of transportation was my 3000GT, which got around 12mpg if I babied the throttle, so a few hundred bucks in gas just getting there and back, plus food, activities, gifts, more gas...it ended up being about $1,000 each trip, plus I still had bills to pay back home. My job was never happy with me leaving so often for so long, eventually I got a call while I was up there saying not to come back. I was pretty much left stranded and devastated...

I went home a month later, and sunk into a deep depression. I had no money at all, couldn't make car payments, phone and internet got shut off, even had a hard time eating sometimes. I turned to the only thing I thought I could immediately make at least a little bit of money with, art. I sold space-paintings at flea markets, would trade tattoo designs for a good meal, even started putting drawings and paintings into the local Hot Topic and Spencers in hopes to just be able to survive. I racked up about $5,000 in credit card debt, lost my drivers license because I couldn't pay tickets, it was seriously hell. Then on top of all that we ended up splitting up (good terms, but still).

I think it's best to just go ahead and talk things out REALISTICALLY between you and your partner about how you actually plan on being together, or if it's even possible at that point in your life. Don't be dumb like me and throw your life out the window for someone else, YOU come first.

[Patricoo]

Re: Long distance relationships?

In hindsight it would have been much smarter to make decisions that were best for *me* as opposed to trying to make decisions that were "best" for "both of us." I learned some valuable life lessons, but it's pretty much what I'm saying now: Don't let love cloud your better judgment.

+1. Me and my last ex agreed to choose our colleges based on our own wants, so I went and moved 2 hours away to a cheap state college. If it was going to work, it would have worked. If it was going to fail, it was going to fail.

I'm reading these stories and I'm beyond grateful to have prepared before hand, even though the depression afterword almost got me kicked out for poor grades. (Like a sissy, I spent the semester moping and rebounding, but I got it together.)

I don't know. People in school probably shouldn't date in general. :P

[darkshark]

Re: Long distance relationships?

Heh, I'm sure you can relate, DS -- the feeling of going from all that to a complete 180.

Absolutely. I learned a lot about life in that time. Pretty much learn how to overcome anything when you have absolutely nothing.

High five for success stories rofl.

[Arch0wl]

Re: Long distance relationships?

Darkshark, knowing you survived that is incredible and inspiring. That's worse than my worst-case scenario and you managed to overcome it.

Rubix, I appreciate the advice, but honestly it feels a little patronizing because my situation is very unlike a high school relationship. We've been together for two years, and when I would be weighing grad/law school decisions we will have been together for three years. We've essentially lived together for over a year, which I feel is one of the hardest things to get right in a relationship. We're about to open a joint savings account to save money for the 2012-2013 year. We've watched our friends get into copycat relationships to have what we have and fail at it. It's easily the most serious relationship I've had in my life.

[3lijah]

Re: Long distance relationships?

Coming from someone who is currently in a long distance relationship:

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with them. Many people in the thread so far have said that they're not worth it and they don't work out, but as long as you're both committed to the relationship, it can happen. I have personally witnessed a few couples that started out their relationship long distance and are now living happily together. My ex's brother and his girlfriend met over World of Warcraft and began dating years ago. She lived in Washington state, he lived in Maryland, and they're living together and expecting a baby in a few months. Also looking at all of the posts involving one person cheating on the other: these relationships rely heavily on trust and honesty. If you have both and your minds are set on working through the distance, It. Can. Be. Done.

Being in a long distance relationship is nothing easy. I've seen my boyfriend (known to FFR as MetalAtlas) only twice. We stayed with friends for a few days together, then I spent a week in New Hampshire with him. He's coming down again next month for a week to visit. Our relationship is tough because of the distance, but for the time being I focus on the chances that I'll get to see him rather than worrying about exactly how long it will take (assuming we make it though these times) for us to be together for good. We talk every day (text/IM) and use Skype to see one another. It makes things a lot easier. (and if you have cams, you might want to give it a shot) We've talked about how hard long distance relationships can be but decided that we want to be together, even if it may take a few years for that to happen. He and I are both set on making our relationship last, so I believe that it will.

Tifferz<3 I'm happy for you for finding someone that makes you happy. If you want to be with him and you're both willing to wait and fight to make things work out between you, then there's no reason that it can't. I can tell you right now, there are going to be a lot of people that try to convince you otherwise and attempt to get you to break up. (as you've already seen) If it's what you really want, **** everyone who tries to stand in your way. (not literally, of course ) You always have my support.

At least you have gotten to see your bf. I support you 2 110%

[Cold Kitten]

Re: Long distance relationships?

Through reading these stories, I think I've changed a few of my original decisions. I'm not entirely sure. I'm going to discuss it with him, however, and see how he feels. I'll of course take that into consideration, buuut, I suppose I come first in this situation.

[Arch0wl]

Re: Long distance relationships?

Sorry Rubix, that was my bad for not giving more details about my situation.

My worry is debt-related. I made decent grades -- tier 2 law school grades -- but not amazing grades, and I have no idea how much I'm going to owe. She, however, did make amazing grades and is trying to get into a top doctoral program. My situation is far more adaptable, but I'm worried that I could be stuck with way more debt than I anticipated.

I've weighed the pros and cons of this situation a lot and I'm prepared to take on this sort of risk. Still, it's a bitch of a risk.

[Reincarnate]

Re: Long distance relationships?

If I may ask, how much debt are you realistically considering?

[darkshark]

Re: Long distance relationships?

Such a giddy change going from tuna and ramen to a $1000+ dinner at The French Laundry.

What the **** did you eat that constitutes a $1,000+ meal?

I don't think I could ever bring myself to spend that kind of money on a meal, no matter how much I make.

[LJRoX]

Re: Long distance relationships?

Just for food man... I know people are rich but I could buy 1 xbox 1 ps3 and a laptop with all that money.