What does it take for kids to learn?

[virus003]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

Are you being serious? Spanking does not work. You think this is effective over a parenting class? Wow.

Not everybody has time for a parenting class, my sister works, goes to college, and she has to do all the driving to drop her daughter off to the father, and still wants to mantain a social life(but that really isn't going well). This is an old fashioned alternative and it works sometimes. You have to realize that spanking means that you actually mean it. If a child gets spanked in the ass pretty hard, wouldn't you assume they wouldn't do what they did again? Yeah, I would, but her father is the reason why she does this. There's literally no rules for her, she wants to live that lifestyle, but that's not the way things work at my house. My Mom raised 5 kids, and she even said that.

[who_cares973]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

I think another problem might be that at her dads house, they speak some spanish there, which could become a problem, she could be mixing up words. She has speaking issues, but she is in speech class. It's almost like she does everything bad on purpose, and spanking really isn't enough for her to learn her lesson.

multiple language wouldnt be a problem it just means she starts to learn more than one language. she wouldnt be mixing anything up.

Are you being serious? Spanking does not work. You think this is effective over a parenting class? Wow.

spanking works to say it doesnt is kinda funny. though it isnt ~the best~ way to show kids right from wrong it works and its effective when done right.


a good reward you sister could give her daughter is money. every time she does something good or does what she's suppose to do -without- being told more than once she could get a dollar a quarter or something. i did this with my brother and sister and i plan to do this with my brother next year

[Reincarnate]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

Do not spank or hit. Don't be a ****ing dumbass.

Don't yell (heightened voice is OK) -- just ignore her if she's trying to obviously get attention. Little kids fuel their energy on the reactions of others... they're like little trolls. You have to learn to ignore them when they do this because then they have to figure out how else to get your attention.

Also don't tell them to do things for the sole purpose of having them follow an order. It'll make no sense and they'll wonder why. There needs to be some sort of palpable logic to your commands other than "Because I said so." Reward good behavior immediately and ignore her when she tries to pull shit. If there's anything a hyper kid hates, it's being ignored.

[Artic_counter]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

Playing a game they like with them can also be a reward. Also, one key factor for a child to listen to you is respect. Which is kind of hard to obtain, but can be by enforcing rules (there is still a limit). It might take some time but it's definitively possible and the rules can be brought in place with the system of rewards and punishments.

It also helps enforcing rules if the mother has a consistent attitude towards what she finds unacceptable so that the kids knows how the parent will react if she does something. Punishing on a whim is not a good way to punish. Rewarding on a whim though is good (if the child as been good of course).

[Reincarnate]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

OMG you guys.

Spanking does NOT ****ing work. Stop saying that. All it does is cause you to be submissive and fearful and it usually causes residual psychological damage and deeply-rooted abuse/trust issues. It's like trying to pull weeds by painfully chopping off the tops when there are usually safer ways to get at the roots that are ultimately more effective and less harmful.

[virus003]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

multiple language wouldnt be a problem it just means she starts to learn more than one language. she wouldnt be mixing anything up.

a good reward you sister could give her daughter is money. every time she does something good or does what she's suppose to do -without- being told more than once she could get a dollar a quarter or something. i did this with my brother and sister and i plan to do this with my brother next year

I guess it could just be speech problems.

And I can see money as a good alternative considering I've got a load of spare change I could give my sister, I don't use coins too often. Then my sister could "buy" something with the money that she's saved up over time. Is that what you're trying to get to? Because that does in fact, make good sense. I'd have to supply the money since money is really tight for my sister, and like I said before I've got spare change, but I don't mind. It's good to help out family members in need.

[Rubin0]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

I'm sorry but if your niece is in danger, then your sister's first priority should be her daughter, and not maintaining a social life. If she is running into the middle of the street because of her misbehavior then obviously spanking is not working. She can rebuild her social life once her daughter is under control.

If she is doing everything right, spanking is working, and yelling is working, then what's the problem?

[Rubin0]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

Dude it's obvious that you are more likely to follow advice from random people who you think are elite FFR members over people that have actually studied and have a degree in psychology/a focus in behavior modification.

[HoneyMelonCalibrator]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

She's four. She'll grow out of it. I think you're worrying yourselves over nothing. The important thing is that you continue to correct her. Be consistent in terms of distinguish wrong from right. But again, she's four. So don't expect too much out of her.

[who_cares973]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

OMG you guys.

Spanking does NOT ****ing work. Stop saying that. All it does is cause you to be submissive and fearful and it usually causes residual psychological damage and deeply-rooted abuse/trust issues. It's like trying to pull weeds by painfully chopping off the tops when there are usually safer ways to get at the roots that are ultimately more effective and less harmful.

not true with me or anyone in my family or anyone i know that was spanked. spanking too much of for no reason is when problems arise.

whatever im doing leads to yelling and yelling leads to hitting better stop when i make her yell or i get hit

that is how i thought of things and rarely got hit because after the first couple times i realized how the process went

[virus003]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

If she is doing everything right, spanking is working, and yelling is working, then what's the problem?

They're not working, that's the whole point of why I made this thread. She needs to learn discipline and respect, I know that's a lot for a 4 year old, but it's the same shit everyday with her, and I don't like being around that environment. I think most of the yelling involved is because my sister actually doesn't get enough sleep throughout her day.

[who_cares973]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

I guess it could just be speech problems.

And I can see money as a good alternative considering I've got a load of spare change I could give my sister, I don't use coins too often. Then my sister could "buy" something with the money that she's saved up over time. Is that what you're trying to get to? Because that does in fact, make good sense. I'd have to supply the money since money is really tight for my sister, and like I said before I've got spare change, but I don't mind. It's good to help out family members in need.

yeah this is what i was talking about

[HoneyMelonCalibrator]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

Adolescents don't respond very well to authority. In all honesty, you should consider taking a different approach. Reward her when she does something good - as this will obviously provide her with incentive to behave good in the future. When she does something you don't approve of or behaves badly, you don't necessarily have to be assertive with punishing her, but maybe you should try depriving her of things (play time, cookies etc.).

[Rubin0]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

A 4 year old is not an adolescent.

The reason spanking doesn't work is because it doesn't teach the child what is right. It teaches a child to fear you and prevents the behavior from happening in your presence. Instead you have to make the child want to do good all the time instead of not wanting to do bad in front of you.

And claiming that she is four is not an excuse. Spoiled four year olds turn into spoiled 14 year olds that turn into spoiled adults that cannot conduct themselves well in society and generally have self esteem issues.

[Reincarnate]

Re: What does it take for kids to learn?

not true with me or anyone in my family or anyone i know that was spanked. spanking too much of for no reason is when problems arise.

whatever im doing leads to yelling and yelling leads to hitting better stop when i make her yell or i get hit

that is how i thought of things and rarely got hit because after the first couple times i realized how the process went

yeah ok good luck spitting in the face of well-tested psychology

A 4 year old is not an adolescent.

The reason spanking doesn't work is because it doesn't teach the child what is right. It teaches a child to fear you and prevents the behavior from happening in your presence. Instead you have to make the child want to do good instead of not wanting to do bad in front of you.

^This