While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

[banditcom]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

[iggymatrixcounter]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

The rest of the story? Well, I nervously laughed, looked at him, and went "Look...It's not that it's not fair, it's that I'd rather lose my reputation as a fair person than lose my dignity. You've caught me in a guilt vortex." And then they laughed and went "Oh, you're too much of a sucker some times. We'll let you off the hook, you don't have to do anything...This time."

That's when I learned my lesson, and now I don't ask girls to do anything for my entertainment.

Suuuure XD

OH! Things Whorli Was Attacked By Today:
1 - tiny, 1-lb calico kitten with VERY SHARP TEETH who really really wanted to sit on my shoulder and didn't care that it took digging in all her TINY NEEDLE CLAWS into my chest to get there
2 - 95-lb chocolate labrador who not only jumped OVER me (I was on the floor trying to get a heart rate on the damn thing) but ran all the way through the hospital to the kitchen (snapping her tied leash on the way over my head) where she proceeded to attack me with vomit-flavored kisses until I could get a halter over her and lead her back to the treatment area
3 - 12-lb black dachshund spewing bloody vomit out one end and nasty-ass diarrhea out the other, as I tried to hold her down so a senior tech could put a catheter in her leg
4 - a paralyzed bichon. He can't use his back legs, but he can totally move his midsection until they flip up and hit me in the face!

And that was my night. Now I crash for 9 or 10 hours.

Normal day eh?

[FluorescentArmy]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

Lol. Cool thread. I got attacked by two unchained dogs while riding my bike yesterday. The one that got closest wasn't paying attention and ran into the bush...

[whorlichan]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

New thread title request: While Tass is away, the Whorli will be a ginormous blob.

Today I did NOTHING. You will note it is approximately 4pm EST as of this post. I got in at 2:30am, did some computering, watched some TV, read a little, was asleep before 3:30am.

And I was a blob all day. I slept and slept and slept until Tass's mom called. I got her off the phone quickly and went back to sleep. I dreamed about waking up, thinking about heading over to the computer to check my e-mail or something, decided I was too lazy, and went back to sleep (still dreaming). I know this was a dream because I was not in my bedroom.

I woke up just now...still too lazy to move. So I dragged Tass's computer out from underneath the bed (less energry required than getting all the way up and moving all the way over to my desk) and posted this.

And now I think I will go to sleep, after a heary breakfast of honey pretzels and Pepsi.

[sleeplessdragn]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

Coke is better for you. No, it really is.

[suicidalmuskrat]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play...

Dude, and you expect him to not bang a bunch of Euro-trash chicks?!! Come on now!?!

Actually, if my experience is any indication, he'll probably end up banging a bunch of Ameri-trash girls looking for Euro-trash guys.

Don't worry for Tass, it'll still be fantastic.

Oh, and tears for the chica.

[Omeganitros]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

No, I think you guys are wrong.









You see, Tasselfoot isn't an idiot. I think he'd know better than to sleep with another woman when he has a perfectly fine relationship as it is. The only way he's going to sleep with someone is if he falls madly in love, and as Whorli pointed out, he's going to be going from place to place really fast, and he won't be able to settle anywhere fast enough to fall in love with someone. That, and if he spends money on women there, how will he have money for anything else? If he's smart, he'll know that buyable women are just as accessable in North America, and there's not much difference (or enough, anyways).

[whorlichan]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

Oh Omega, you are so funny

I locked up his heart, he CAN'T fall in love with anyone else. It's all full of ME.

In other news, While the Tass is Away the Whorli will be FREAKED OUT AT THE APPARENT NINJA IN HER HOUSE.

I went to the bathroom earlier to start a nice warm shower running (the water takes ages to get hot enough for me to stand) and the toilet seat was up. I thought nothing of it, maybe a minor "damn that boy, he knows better."

BUT TASS HASN'T BEEN HERE FOR ALMOST A WEEK. And it's the bathroom only he and I use. And the cats aren't strong enough to lift the seat, much less have it STAY up if they somehow manage it. And I wouldn't lift the seat for any reason.

THERE IS A NINJA TOILET-SEAT-LIFTER IN MY HOUSE. PLEASE SEND PIRATES TO KILL IT.

[Grandiagod]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

No ninja, ninjas are too careful to leave the seat up. Probably the CIA.

[Omeganitros]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

I locked up his heart, he CAN'T fall in love with anyone else. It's all full of ME.

I wouldn't rely on that if I were you, you never know when he might run into...


WHORLICHAN 2.0

DUN
DUN
DUNNNNNNNNN


It wouldbe just like the Soap Operas. One day, you come home, only to see Tass IN THE ARMS OF ANOTHER WOMAN! He gasps in shock, "But Whorli, I thought she was you!" Your gaze turns over to her, only to see, YOUR EVIL TWIN! She's like you in every way, but cuter and hotter and EVIL! You watch in horror as she seduces your boyfriend into thinking that YOU'RE the evil twin!

And then they take off together and you never see him again.


The moral of the story: If you have a twin, kill him/her before he/she steals your boyfriend/girlfriend. Kill them. It's the only way to be sure. Your lover will thank you later.

[whorlichan]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

You know, Omega, it's very strange you should mention that evil twin thing.

Because when my mom was pregnant with me, they told her she had twins. Then they hurriedly changed their mind and only I was born (maybe I ATE the other twin in the womb).

They did it again with my brother...told her she was pregnant with twin girls, and only he was born. Strange, no?

But back to your post. There is no twin. There is no Whorlichan 2.0. And since I'm approximately 8 billion times more awesome than his last girlfriend, he'd have to score with someone a) richer than Bill Gates, b) hotter than Angelina before she got preggo, and c) for some reason willing to settle for less than Jonny Depp. Somehow, I do not think this will happen.

And if it does, I have a tiny bomb implanted in his brain, and remote controls placed with pirate ninja monkeys in every city he's traveling to. THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM THE WHORLI.

[Omeganitros]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

Okay, if you say so...












Sorry. The loser in me couldn't resist.

[Tasselfoot]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

I am Tass. I am in Budapest, Hungary. I approve this thread.

PS - I was in a strip club in Prague last night. We wanted to kill a few hours before our train to Budapest, so we found the black guys on the street and said we wanted to go to their club. There were 3 guys from 2 different clubs. 2 of them started getting in this HUGE fight, so we went off with the 3rd. The club was AWFUL. $15 cover, which included free beer. But as it was 8pm on a Saturday night, there was not a single other customer in the place. AND the girls weren't getting fully nude. They'd prance around for 2 songs, then take their top off for 30 seconds, then get off the stage. Then every ten minutes we'd be propositioned for either a private Table Dance or a "private" session. 1000 crowns or 2000+ crowns respectively. And as we were using up the rest of our crowns... we only had 850 between the 3 of us (21 crowns is about 1 dollar). After an hour of this, one of the chicks came up to us and was like "you know, this ISN'T a cinema." We took that as our hint to leave, before we were gang beaten and robbed in the sketchy Czech club. We got some KFC and waited on the steps of the National Musem for 30 minutes, then went to the train station.

And yes... "private" sessions == bj, sex, anything you want.

[Omeganitros]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

KFC? Pssshhh.

[Tasselfoot]

Re: While Tass is away, the Whorli will play, but not with girls cuz not all girls be bi.

it was that or McDs.

PS - I'm kinda buzzed... I pissed on the street in Budapest AND pissed into the Danube River. it is 1am here.