I live in Manhattan, but decided, like any good ol' boy, to come home to Virginia for Christmas with my family. Since we're having relatives over, they were staying in the guest room, my sister moved into my mom's room (with mom) and my brother got his old room back, and my other sister got to keep her room.
So, I'm staying in my youngest sisters room. All is well... UNTIL!
I was playing "Spartan: TOTAL WARRIOR" on the PS2 in my sisters room, sitting on the bed. I pressed pause to adjust myself on the bed, when the left side collapsed. I rolled off the bed, now on a stark incline, and hit my head on the nightstand.
"Michael, what was that?" Mom called from downstairs.
"Shelby's bed just broke!"
"Oh... Fuck." And then Mom left to go to the elementary school and have lunch with Shelby, because it is her birthday today.
So, I lift the box-spring from off the floor, throw the huge matress aside and slid the box-spring out into the hall. All of the slats in the bed frame have fallen on the ground, and the end piece on the right that's supposed to hold the slats has come unscrewed.
I grabbed a screwdriver from downstairs and screwed the end piece back in, put the slats back in place, put the box-spring back on top, put the mattress on top of that and made the bed. I fixed it. Good.
My brother comes in with an outline for a road trip he's going to be taking, and I'm back on the bed, playing SPARTAN: TOTAL WARRIOR. He sets the papers down and before I can warn him, he climbed onto the right side of the bed, which collapsed again, my brother falling to the floor and me rolling and hitting my head again.
He's hurt his wrist as I explain the situation, profusely apologizing for not giving any heads up warning to him about the unstable right side, which I thought was stable after fixing it.
SO off comes the box-spring, off comes the mattress and down into the depths of the frame he climbs. I've misplaced the screwdriver at this point and head downstairs to get another, and I find one. Good.
I take it back up, and we fervently work replacing the right support. One of the screws is missing, but the screw-hole is so big that actually trying to screw it back in would be like trying to suck blood from a mummy.
So, the new screwdriver has a much bigger handle and we're able to screw the screws in very tightly. We even spaced the screws out so that the weight would be evenly supported, not putting a slat where there is no screw. We try pulling the end piece out, it's stable, I try hitting the end piece with a hammer, it's stable, my brother punches the end piece.
We've finally fixed that fucking bed.
Back on goes the box spring, back on goes the mattress, and we make the bed up so that my sister won't even know anything was wrong with it.
My brother climbs back on, the bed collapses.
Fuck that bed. Fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it in its stupid ass.
Mal
So, I'm staying in my youngest sisters room. All is well... UNTIL!
I was playing "Spartan: TOTAL WARRIOR" on the PS2 in my sisters room, sitting on the bed. I pressed pause to adjust myself on the bed, when the left side collapsed. I rolled off the bed, now on a stark incline, and hit my head on the nightstand.
"Michael, what was that?" Mom called from downstairs.
"Shelby's bed just broke!"
"Oh... Fuck." And then Mom left to go to the elementary school and have lunch with Shelby, because it is her birthday today.
So, I lift the box-spring from off the floor, throw the huge matress aside and slid the box-spring out into the hall. All of the slats in the bed frame have fallen on the ground, and the end piece on the right that's supposed to hold the slats has come unscrewed.
I grabbed a screwdriver from downstairs and screwed the end piece back in, put the slats back in place, put the box-spring back on top, put the mattress on top of that and made the bed. I fixed it. Good.
My brother comes in with an outline for a road trip he's going to be taking, and I'm back on the bed, playing SPARTAN: TOTAL WARRIOR. He sets the papers down and before I can warn him, he climbed onto the right side of the bed, which collapsed again, my brother falling to the floor and me rolling and hitting my head again.
He's hurt his wrist as I explain the situation, profusely apologizing for not giving any heads up warning to him about the unstable right side, which I thought was stable after fixing it.
SO off comes the box-spring, off comes the mattress and down into the depths of the frame he climbs. I've misplaced the screwdriver at this point and head downstairs to get another, and I find one. Good.
I take it back up, and we fervently work replacing the right support. One of the screws is missing, but the screw-hole is so big that actually trying to screw it back in would be like trying to suck blood from a mummy.
So, the new screwdriver has a much bigger handle and we're able to screw the screws in very tightly. We even spaced the screws out so that the weight would be evenly supported, not putting a slat where there is no screw. We try pulling the end piece out, it's stable, I try hitting the end piece with a hammer, it's stable, my brother punches the end piece.
We've finally fixed that fucking bed.
Back on goes the box spring, back on goes the mattress, and we make the bed up so that my sister won't even know anything was wrong with it.
My brother climbs back on, the bed collapses.
Fuck that bed. Fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it in its stupid ass.
Mal
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