Getting married

[Snapps]

Re: RE: Getting married

TO LIFE! TO LIFE! LE (SOME JEWISH WORD I HAVE NO CHANCE OF CORRECTLY SPELLING)!

Chiam lol.

Make your move, but try not to be disappointed if struggles come up. You did state you will do your best, so just try hard. Yeah

EDIT: Oh, Qreepy already got it.

[Tasselfoot]

RE: Re: RE: Getting married

Lets see if I can chime in from the "oh hey, someone who is ACTUALLY EXPERIENCED" department...


From personal experience, its clearly not a good idea. I really can't think of any person that will tell you its smart to get married before you are out of college, let alone HS (if you intend to go to college). Maybe its different in Alabama or Bald Knob, Arkansas (Hi Panda!).

My brother was engaged at 19 (he was a freshman in college, girl was 18 and a HS senior in a different state). Huge mistake. An attempt to save the relationship. Broke off a few months later.

Girl I dated from 16-18 (and was sexually active with)... ALWAYS talked about marriage. Anywho, we broke up... about a year later, she starts dating another guy. Guy about to go into the military. So, six months into the relationship, he is about to ship off for South Carolina (from PA) to serve. They get married more for the benefits of marriage in the military than for themselves, as they CONSTANTLY fought. That was almost 2 years ago. They're still together... doing better actually, but it was damn shaky for a long time. And he's been out of the country for 1 year of that time.

Plus... who is going to provide food, shelter, clothing, and education for the two of you? The 4 parents? Are you planning on dropping out of HS with no GED? Work flipping burgers for the next 40 years? How about floating from mall job to mall job or waitressing. None of these jobs pay very well in the scheme of things.

Life isn't always great, but with a degree (even a HD diploma), so many doors are opened to you that otherwise wouldn't be... things that improve your living conditions greatly, and the lifestyles of your family.

Expecting children shortly after too? If so, they are a huge expense... and I know NOBODY on this site (and most people around the country) are in favor of dumb schmucks that aren't able to bring a child into this world doing so anyway and stealing wellfare away from much more important things the government could be spending tax payer dollars on. If not... birth control can be expensive too, especially without health insurance. Oh yea... health insurance is EXTREMELY expensive, and most low level jobs don't provide it for you. And as a married lady, you wouldn't be eligible under your parents policies. How about car and car insurance when you get your licence? And how will you travel from place to place until you can afford a car. Don't forget about gas....

Can you handle all of these things? Huge debts piling up, collection agencies bothering you at all hours of the day. Terrible credit, small house, no money. Is your life really THAT bad now to want that what I am describing instead? If so... best of luck to you.

[Tokzic]

RE: Re: RE: Getting married

Getting married at sixteen is a very bad move. You two will go through a lot of changes over the next few years, and you may not feel exactly the same about each other afterwards - but you'll still have the rings on. I wouldn't go through with it, but I hope it works out for you guys anyway.

P.S. It's funny because I was in Fiddler on the Roof back in the day.

[Arthur122368]

RE: Getting married

Have a Happy marriage.....


HASTE THE DAY>> MY GODS!!

[suicidalmuskrat]

RE: Getting married

Hey, check me out, I'm going to try to convince you not to do something you've likely been planning for a while, a week before it happens. Because I'm so much smarter than you and you should do what I say. So if I say don't get married, you'd better not get married because we deal in absolutes and every marriage before 20 is straight up hell and will automatically fail.

I mean, why would I simply say congrats and good luck? That would be encouraging, and God forbid we do that. I want to attempt to pile as much stress and doubt as possible on you, for no apparent benefit to myself. Because we all know how much more stress weddings need added to them.

Good work guys.

Congrats. Hope everything goes smoothly.

P.S. Do people still regard marriage as a huge commitment? It seems that when successful marriages are in the minority, that we would start to re-evaluate our perceptions on marriage. Oh well, just a thought.

[GuidoHunter]

RE: Getting married

Suicidal speaks words of truth. Don't be assholes; keep your words to yourself.

Except for the PS part. That was just dumb. To think of marriage as a casual thing just because many marriages fail is insulting to the sacred institution.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[MalReynolds]

RE: Getting married

Mmhm. We're allowed to offer self improvement advice in all fields save for marraige.

Check.

Good luck! Have fun! Work hard at it and I'm sure you'll make the marraige last forever.

Mal

[banditcom]

Re: RE: Getting married

Suicidal speaks words of truth. Don't be *%!&@(!; keep your words to yourself.

Except for the PS part. That was just dumb. To think of marriage as a casual thing just because many marriages fail is insulting to the sacred institution.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

Exactly. However, it is seen more casual, I think, only because divorce is more accepted. That's all.

This brings up a point I made last night to a friend. She believes in love at first sight. I said it doesn't exist, because if it did, the meaning of love is shot to hell.

Nick: Good post.

Tass: You're out of line.

[MeKe]

d

F8ck aving a wedding that soon , its not gonna work out

[nickadeemus]

RE: d

gl hf dd ka.

Ok maybe not ka, but the others apply.

[ruifio894]

RE: Getting married

You should host the cerermony on the FFR forum.

[stretchypanda]

RE: Getting married

OH, I'M SORRY.

I forgot that because I've seen people get married as young as Sera and seen how wonderful THEIR relationships have turned out and because I've been engaged for all the wrong reasons and because I am actually genuinely concerned for someone I think is making a huge mistake that I'm not allowed to offer my opinion.

Do forgive me.

[msbrunnettemickey]

RE: Getting married

My mom got married at age 16...

Hell.. she even had my brother at age 16.

My father and mother's relationship lasted for 16+ years (marriage).

It could work. Who knows?

[Tokzic]

RE: Getting married

Hey, check me out, I'm going to try to convince you not to do something you've likely been planning for a while, a week before it happens. Because I'm so much smarter than you and you should do what I say. So if I say don't get married, you'd better not get married because we deal in absolutes and every marriage before 20 is straight up hell and will automatically fail.

I mean, why would I simply say congrats and good luck? That would be encouraging, and God forbid we do that. I want to attempt to pile as much stress and doubt as possible on you, for no apparent benefit to myself. Because we all know how much more stress weddings need added to them.

Good work guys.

Congrats. Hope everything goes smoothly.

P.S. Do people still regard marriage as a huge commitment? It seems that when successful marriages are in the minority, that we would start to re-evaluate our perceptions on marriage. Oh well, just a thought.

You're completely right. I forgot that a forum is the perfect place to keep my words to myself, especially when someone posts a topic about something, because God forbid they get comments on it! And if someone is doing something that could turn out badly, I should smile through my teeth and say everything is going to turn out fine.

No thanks, idealism only ends in disappointment.

No one is "trying to convince" her to do anything. It isn't our decision. But if you think I'm just going to shut up any friendly warnings I may have and say everything is going to turn out fine in an "experimental" marriage, you're wrong.

Don't get me wrong though, Sera. I still wish you the best of luck and happiness with the whole deal.

[Sera13]

Re: RE: Re: RE: Getting married

im more than glad to have had some one who knows what they are talking about question this.. well heres some answers.

Lets see if I can chime in from the "oh hey, someone who is ACTUALLY EXPERIENCED" department...


From personal experience, its clearly not a good idea. I really can't think of any person that will tell you its smart to get married before you are out of college, let alone HS (if you intend to go to college). Maybe its different in Alabama or Bald Knob, Arkansas (Hi Panda!).

Alright, i only have half a year of high school left, and i am finishing high school. i am also going to college on full scholarships. Nothing is going to take that away from me. I will not get pregnant either due to massive amounts of protection. There is no way i will have a kid before i am out of college and have a steady job.

My brother was engaged at 19 (he was a freshman in college, girl was 18 and a HS senior in a different state). Huge mistake. An attempt to save the relationship. Broke off a few months later.

my grandparents, my best friends parents, and about 4 outher couples i knew got married at the ages of 16-19 and have all been happily married for 18+ years

Plus... who is going to provide food, shelter, clothing, and education for the two of you? The 4 parents? Are you planning on dropping out of HS with no GED? Work flipping burgers for the next 40 years? How about floating from mall job to mall job or waitressing. None of these jobs pay very well in the scheme of things.

Alright as i have already answered the school part, i think i will finish with he currently has a full time job making 26 dollars an hour and i also have a part time job. he already buys all my food my clothes and everything else, he fully supports both of us as it is, the only diffrence is i sleep at home currently. I am here from about 8:30 pm till no later than 6 am and thats about it. Money is no issue here.

Expecting children shortly after too? If so, they are a huge expense... and I know NOBODY on this site (and most people around the country) are in favor of dumb schmucks that aren't able to bring a child into this world doing so anyway and stealing wellfare away from much more important things the government could be spending tax payer dollars on. If not... birth control can be expensive too, especially without health insurance. Oh yea... health insurance is EXTREMELY expensive, and most low level jobs don't provide it for you. And as a married lady, you wouldn't be eligible under your parents policies. How about car and car insurance when you get your licence? And how will you travel from place to place until you can afford a car. Don't forget about gas....

again, we have jobs and plenty of money. I am already on birth control and we use condoms. We also have insurance covered. I am covered until i am 21 period and he has insurance through his work, but after we are married i will be added to his insurance and dropping mine for the convience of it all. I have a lisence and car insurance that i pay for as it is, as does he.

Can you handle all of these things? Huge debts piling up, collection agencies bothering you at all hours of the day. Terrible credit, small house, no money. Is your life really THAT bad now to want that what I am describing instead? If so... best of luck to you.

Even if things werent to work out and we did wind up being poor i am willing to work as hard as i can and i will not give up. i am prepared for hard times and being poor. i have been poor in the past i know it blows, and i know its alot worse when your the one in charge too. I have put up with alot of bullshit and done alot more in my life than most 16 yr old and i am aware everyone says that, and i am really not getitng into the whole what i have done more sob story. all i can say is i am gonne try my hardest and gonan do my best.



and to Q:

you should know me well enough i wouldnt even consider marriage if i wasnt the one who wanted it. i am completely in love with Daniel, as i have been for a very long time now, we have been engaged for a long time, way before the family things came up.. thats just a bonus.



EDIT: i would just like to add that to all the people doubting and questioning, that is completely understandable. I do think some people are doing it in a more polite way than others though. People are entitled to their concerns and oppinions. to the ones who are simply giving words of encoragement , thank you as well. Being in the situation i am in, encouragement is very welcomed.

and MOST IMPORTANTLY marriage is NOT a casual thing and should never considered so. I dont believe in divorces.