Let's start off simple. No, this is not the story Ana suggested I write up that involves me coming close to intercourse with a transsexual/transvestite (whatever I felt like that day). This is the actual story of my current girlfriend and myself.
Yes, that's right, I have a new girlfriend. I know what you're thinking. "God damn, Q, you've got to be some kind of sexy pimp master sent to the ladies by Jeebus!" Trust me, I'm thinking the very same thing.
But really, this girl is great. I've been dating her for a month now. She's everything a guy's looking for in an awesome girl. 5'4" little gringa, but she looks at least as hispanic as I do. She speaks wonderful French (ask Alain, he knows) and puts that French tongue to good use. The language, too.
Anyway, I met her at a party. Yes, Q goes to parties. It was the sixteenth of my good friend's girlfriend. I went with him to "chaperone" him (keep his pants on) while I walked around and told everyone stories. Not 5 minutes after I walked into the party did I have two girls on me asking questions. Ok, they were the girlfriend and her mom and they were asking who I was again. They're still female and they still greeted me.
I spend the first fifteen minutes or so getting to know everyone (7 girls, 3 guys, and lots of pineapples) and talking it up with a few of the ladies. Little did I know that one of these ladies had her eyes on me from the moment I was interecepted at the door. They all moved into a room with speakers to act like idiots and what not while listening to some rock. I hung out in the kitchen and devoured as many pineapples as they had before going out into this room to bob my head to the music. Everyone was just sitting and talking while I stood and bobbed up and down. My arm made a habitual and lackadaisical movement across my belly during moments of great guitar riffs (all hail Queen!).
The moment of truth. I was brought into the party a good minute or two later by the girl who'd been eyeing me. "What the hell are you doing?" she yelled at me. I looked up and saw the room staring at me. The song swelled into a crecendo. I grinned, knowing that there would be a great solo coming up. There it was. I slammed my hand down across the strings of my air-axe and pulled off more air-stage moves than were necessary. Generally, I caused a great time.
I played air-guitar for the bunch a couple more times, each time I did the girl would try to tackle me and tell me not to do that sort of thing at parties. I laughed and dragged the group outside with me. I had become the life of the party. Have I mentioned how much I kick ass lately? Anyway, I go to this girlfriend's trampoline, and sit on it. Danielle, as she told me her name was, followed suit and plopped down next to me. The rest of my small horde does the same.
"What is this, a trampoline-fire circle?"
Danielle only looks up at me smiles. "How about a story?"
Oooh, she's good. I started my stories. Oh, Lordie, my stories rock. If you're good I might tell you one some time. I weave on for about two hours about my Tom Sawyereque exploits in Hicktown, Illinois. Each word gets a giggle from the girls. Each gloat gets a scoff from the guys. Danielle swoons. At this point she's sliding down from her perch and more on to me. I'm not really complaining.
It starts getting too dark and the girls all want to play a party game. I say, "sure, what game?" Apparently, there's this game called "Honey, would you..." that involved me quite heavily. In this game someone would sit in your lap and ask you "Honey, if you love me won't you please smile?" The person who's being sat on tries not to smile and replies "Honey, I love you but I just can't smile." If you smile you have to get up and do the same to someone else. Doesn't have to be a different gender, too.
First up, my good friend. He immediately hops onto my lap and puts an arm around me. Failed. He goes to his girlfriend and wins her. She goes on to a friend of hers named Alyssa and wins. Alyssa plops onto my lap, acts drunk, kisses my cheek, and fails. She goes on to Danielle, who also sits in my lap, kisses my cheek and nuzzles into my neck. Amazingly, she fails. I get my head slapped from behind as she goes to the next person.
I end up winning after all seven girls tried jumping on me at the same time (my friend's girlfriend shoved her chest right in my face, too. Who here can spell awkward?). For some reason, Danielle just refuses to leave my lap. Eventually I have to go and Danielle gets off. I ask for her number and end up calling her the next day. 7 hour call. The day after was 5.
In any case, I had an awesome night about a month ago. If you want to know more about Danielle, sure. I might get her on FFR sometime. When she buys a computer, things might improve.
Q
Yes, that's right, I have a new girlfriend. I know what you're thinking. "God damn, Q, you've got to be some kind of sexy pimp master sent to the ladies by Jeebus!" Trust me, I'm thinking the very same thing.
But really, this girl is great. I've been dating her for a month now. She's everything a guy's looking for in an awesome girl. 5'4" little gringa, but she looks at least as hispanic as I do. She speaks wonderful French (ask Alain, he knows) and puts that French tongue to good use. The language, too.
Anyway, I met her at a party. Yes, Q goes to parties. It was the sixteenth of my good friend's girlfriend. I went with him to "chaperone" him (keep his pants on) while I walked around and told everyone stories. Not 5 minutes after I walked into the party did I have two girls on me asking questions. Ok, they were the girlfriend and her mom and they were asking who I was again. They're still female and they still greeted me.
I spend the first fifteen minutes or so getting to know everyone (7 girls, 3 guys, and lots of pineapples) and talking it up with a few of the ladies. Little did I know that one of these ladies had her eyes on me from the moment I was interecepted at the door. They all moved into a room with speakers to act like idiots and what not while listening to some rock. I hung out in the kitchen and devoured as many pineapples as they had before going out into this room to bob my head to the music. Everyone was just sitting and talking while I stood and bobbed up and down. My arm made a habitual and lackadaisical movement across my belly during moments of great guitar riffs (all hail Queen!).
The moment of truth. I was brought into the party a good minute or two later by the girl who'd been eyeing me. "What the hell are you doing?" she yelled at me. I looked up and saw the room staring at me. The song swelled into a crecendo. I grinned, knowing that there would be a great solo coming up. There it was. I slammed my hand down across the strings of my air-axe and pulled off more air-stage moves than were necessary. Generally, I caused a great time.
I played air-guitar for the bunch a couple more times, each time I did the girl would try to tackle me and tell me not to do that sort of thing at parties. I laughed and dragged the group outside with me. I had become the life of the party. Have I mentioned how much I kick ass lately? Anyway, I go to this girlfriend's trampoline, and sit on it. Danielle, as she told me her name was, followed suit and plopped down next to me. The rest of my small horde does the same.
"What is this, a trampoline-fire circle?"
Danielle only looks up at me smiles. "How about a story?"
Oooh, she's good. I started my stories. Oh, Lordie, my stories rock. If you're good I might tell you one some time. I weave on for about two hours about my Tom Sawyereque exploits in Hicktown, Illinois. Each word gets a giggle from the girls. Each gloat gets a scoff from the guys. Danielle swoons. At this point she's sliding down from her perch and more on to me. I'm not really complaining.
It starts getting too dark and the girls all want to play a party game. I say, "sure, what game?" Apparently, there's this game called "Honey, would you..." that involved me quite heavily. In this game someone would sit in your lap and ask you "Honey, if you love me won't you please smile?" The person who's being sat on tries not to smile and replies "Honey, I love you but I just can't smile." If you smile you have to get up and do the same to someone else. Doesn't have to be a different gender, too.
First up, my good friend. He immediately hops onto my lap and puts an arm around me. Failed. He goes to his girlfriend and wins her. She goes on to a friend of hers named Alyssa and wins. Alyssa plops onto my lap, acts drunk, kisses my cheek, and fails. She goes on to Danielle, who also sits in my lap, kisses my cheek and nuzzles into my neck. Amazingly, she fails. I get my head slapped from behind as she goes to the next person.
I end up winning after all seven girls tried jumping on me at the same time (my friend's girlfriend shoved her chest right in my face, too. Who here can spell awkward?). For some reason, Danielle just refuses to leave my lap. Eventually I have to go and Danielle gets off. I ask for her number and end up calling her the next day. 7 hour call. The day after was 5.
In any case, I had an awesome night about a month ago. If you want to know more about Danielle, sure. I might get her on FFR sometime. When she buys a computer, things might improve.
Q
*sigh*
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