If your campus food service company is Sodexho then your local foodrinkeries are probably littered with this new-age garbage called Balance Mind Body Soul. Basically it's a whole bunch of tips written to encourage healthy living. They write these things like they're all inspirational/motivational/philosophically insightful, but when you read into it you start to understand it's a load of horse crap written by people with a less than adequate grasp of the English language. These people have roughly the same amount of human insight as fortune cookie writers. I give you wonderful examples of the tripe they post.
Under the "who gives a damn" category, we have:
Under the "proof of total lunacy" category, we have actual advice for people to develop ESP. I cannot make this up, people.
We also get amusing posters like this in our dining halls. I've seen more coherent thought processes on engrish.com.
If you do not believe that a "nutrition guide" so extraordinarily divorced from rational thought could exist, I'll provide photos later.
Under the "who gives a damn" category, we have:
- -Look at a map of the region in which you live. What are the directions, north, south, east, west. What other cities share your latitude? Which direction does your room face?
-Charge up the battery and take your laptop outside to work. Situate yourself in your surroundings before you begin to work. What trees are around you? Do you hear birds? What textures are the grasses and plants? What color is the sky? (editor note: OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY ACTUALLY ASK THAT) From which direction is the wind blowing, the sun shining?
-As you walk, look down, up and at eye level. What is happening at different levels of life?
-Acquaint yourself with natural rhythms and local ecology. When is the next full moon? What is the average rainfall in your area? Where does your drinking water originate? Where does the garbage go? Most cities have websites with the answers to these and other questions about the region. Be aware of the place that’s home for now.
Under the "proof of total lunacy" category, we have actual advice for people to develop ESP. I cannot make this up, people.
- -When you have a hunch, pause for a moment instead of dismissing it out of hand. How strong does the hunch feel?
-If one of your hunches or predictions proves correct give yourself a pat on the back, or at least a smile. You might say to yourself, “I had a feeling….”
-Jot down your intuitions in the back of a notebook or in your palm pilot. Look for patterns among your hunches.
-Entertain yourself with harmless games such as imagining what someone will wear tomorrow or what the person in front of you in line will order to eat.
-If you ever get a sense of danger or threat be on the safe side and trust your intuition.
We also get amusing posters like this in our dining halls. I've seen more coherent thought processes on engrish.com.
If you do not believe that a "nutrition guide" so extraordinarily divorced from rational thought could exist, I'll provide photos later.
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