Why didn't anybody tell me about this amazing book?
This person deserves all the cool points I've racked up over the years and then some. To actually put into printed text all that I hate everybody on FFR for is pure genius. Here's an excerpt from the excerpt page.
I love you.
She goes on to own with...
Nobody appreciates my work, either 
I'm about ready to order this book immediately. Surely this shall be the greatest read EVER.
~Squeek
PS - Excerpt - http://www.eatsshootsandleaves.com/excerpt.html
Game - http://www.eatsshootsandleaves.com/ESLquiz.html
(I admit the game is very poorly made...deal with it)
PPS - She's English. Some words are spelled differently over there. Don't nitpick it.
This person deserves all the cool points I've racked up over the years and then some. To actually put into printed text all that I hate everybody on FFR for is pure genius. Here's an excerpt from the excerpt page.
Either this will ring bells for you, or it won’t. A printed banner has appeared on the concourse of a petrol station near to where I live. “Come inside,” it says, “for CD’s, VIDEO’s, DVD’s, and BOOK’s.”
If this satanic sprinkling of redundant apostrophes causes no little gasp of horror or quickening of the pulse, you should probably put down this book at once. By all means congratulate yourself that you are not a pedant or even a stickler; that you are happily equipped to live in a world of plummeting punctuation standards; but just don’t bother to go any further. For any true stickler, you see, the sight of the plural word “Book’s” with an apostrophe in it will trigger a ghastly private emotional process similar to the stages of bereavement, though greatly accelerated. First there is shock. Within seconds, shock gives way to disbelief, disbelief to pain, and pain to anger. Finally (and this is where the analogy breaks down), anger gives way to a righteous urge to perpetrate an act of criminal damage with the aid of a permanent marker.
If this satanic sprinkling of redundant apostrophes causes no little gasp of horror or quickening of the pulse, you should probably put down this book at once. By all means congratulate yourself that you are not a pedant or even a stickler; that you are happily equipped to live in a world of plummeting punctuation standards; but just don’t bother to go any further. For any true stickler, you see, the sight of the plural word “Book’s” with an apostrophe in it will trigger a ghastly private emotional process similar to the stages of bereavement, though greatly accelerated. First there is shock. Within seconds, shock gives way to disbelief, disbelief to pain, and pain to anger. Finally (and this is where the analogy breaks down), anger gives way to a righteous urge to perpetrate an act of criminal damage with the aid of a permanent marker.
She goes on to own with...
Part of one’s despair, of course, is that the world cares nothing for the little shocks endured by the sensitive stickler. While we look in horror at a badly punctuated sign, the world carries on around us, blind to our plight. We are like the little boy in The Sixth Sense who can see dead people, except that we can see dead punctuation. Whisper it in petrified little-boy tones: dead punctuation is invisible to everyone else – yet we see it all the time. No one understands us seventh-sense people. They regard us as freaks. When we point out illiterate mistakes we are often aggressively instructed to “get a life” by people who, interestingly, display no evidence of having lives themselves. Naturally we become timid about making our insights known, in such inhospitable conditions. Being burned as a witch is not safely enough off the agenda. A sign has gone up in a local charity-shop window which says, baldly, “Can you spare any old records” (no question mark) and I dither daily outside on the pavement. Should I go in and mention it? It does matter that there’s no question mark on a direct question. It is appalling ignorance. But what will I do if the elderly charity-shop lady gives me the usual disbelieving stare and then tells me to bugger off, get a life and mind my own business?
I'm about ready to order this book immediately. Surely this shall be the greatest read EVER.
~Squeek
PS - Excerpt - http://www.eatsshootsandleaves.com/excerpt.html
Game - http://www.eatsshootsandleaves.com/ESLquiz.html
(I admit the game is very poorly made...deal with it)
PPS - She's English. Some words are spelled differently over there. Don't nitpick it.
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