how's life been guys

[Lambdadelta]

Re: how's life been guys

Recently moved to a new city, loving it here so far.
Tried to do the college thing but I was 2 weeks late and my GPA was slowly tanking so I ended up dropping out.
Unemployed living in a half-way house because I was a dumb fuck and got really angry which resulted in two years of summer camp in a penitentiary.
I'm turning 30 in 4 months and I don't quite know how to feel about it.

[qrrbrbirbel]

Re: how's life been guys

tbh not a lot of good, but finding out a lot of this has at least set me in somewhat of a direction to follow.

finding out about my autism made a lot of stuff make sense.

been going through autistic burnout for years without knowing what it was cuz i could never afford/deal with doctors. no matter how much i cared about something i could just up and lose all motivation to do anything about anything for days/weeks/months.

anything aside from (and sometimes not even those) basic necessities were/are regularly out of my grasp.

biggest plus out of all this is i'm getting better at not feeling ashamed for being such a mishmashy wreck after a literal lifetime of some form of abuse lol. also trying to communicate this better without getting too dumpy meeting new people but even trying to warn people about the state i'm in i dont have a whole lot of friends still ^_^;

the communicating progress led to confronting people close to me about boundaries that i'm awful at making or deciding whether or not they should even be there or how firm they should be. lots of research on healthy communication and confrontation and not a lot of people handled it well, so that dwindled my circle even smaller (i still dont talk to my mom, as she took me reaching out going to the ER for my mental health and made it about her in 2 texts [new record!])

this led to me focusing on me, but yet again i experienced the reoccuring event in my life where whenever i try and do just that, i get shamed and gaslit by those around me for not providing more. even tho i have a dental nightmare that will cost thousands of dollars to fix if its even fixable, or extreme anxiety that i cant afford therapy or medication for; or the positive things like getting the lyrics and songs ive been working on produced on fiver, making my room into a cool scooby doo-mansion-style one, reworking my wardrobe into nothing but comfy clothes aside from work stuff.

Trying to repair the relationship with my best friend but she's like smart and not smart about stuff (i think mostly because of her age and how trauma has stunted growth in certain emotional aspects) so progress has been slow. Most of my efforts were met with an unresponsive attitude of 'ok', and instead i saw those same efforts enacted in the person that would basically become my replacement. This was brought up and she could recognize it but there was no real resolution on if it was something i did (which would suck because i did everything i could think of to close the rift and bring us closer [including distance]), or if it was something unresolved in her that was causing her to push away healthy communication. This has all happened over the span of 3 years, and its been real hard to watch her get further away with almost no information on why its happening, like all this time i've just wanted to know. For being such a fan of horror films she sure is scared of answering honest questions lol.
anyways we're just kinda meh now and im settling into my 'if they come into my life great, if not thats great too' mentality with all people

struggling with people pleasing and giving too much too fast, which can scare some away and attract people that will use me that i have a hard time noticing their red flags. now im too scared to make the first move in anything, but life has shown me that if i'm not the one putting in effort then there is no friendship or relationship, so i'm stuck in a catch 22 where both prospects will seem to end in failure. coupled with the new knowledge that neurotypical people have a chance to hate me for no reason other than they can tell that i'm neurodivergent is frustrating and relieving. at least i know why some people hate me when i cant surmise the answer.

all in all tho, i spend a lot of time researching traits/symptoms and comparing and doing my best to see the benefits of using tools and techniques to treat what i think will benefit my unique situation. i try to keep in mind that i'm not a specialist and look at any detriments said tools would cause if used for the wrong things, and i'm not taking any medicine for anything either as treatment.
things usually get better the more i learn, but making the world understand is super hard. it's like missing a leg, and when you try to explain it to people and give them numerous examples that they themselves have seen, they have no idea why you can't move like a two-legged person (or tldr, patrick makes sense meme)
"oh you were hit in the head with a cast iron skillet when you were asleep with a fever? how does that have anything to do with your memory issues?" its just O_O

so big tldr im a hermit and goin through childhood v2

[DotKritic]

Re: how's life been guys

Working towards five years at Amazon. Wrapping up my Associates in Management next winter (finally). Taking some time to decide between Logistics/Supply Chain Management or Accounting for my Bachelors.

[_choof]

Re: how's life been guys

workin and twerkin
I accepted a position as a department director at teh company I work at, v cool

[ositzxz369]

Re: how's life been guys

workin and twerkin
I accepted a position as a department director at teh company I work at, v cool

keep this up and u'll eventually become obama's level

[Wayward Vagabond]

Re: how's life been guys

I feel like a lot has happened for me, but I'll just summarize only the major good portions.

· Been working full-time as a creative designer for a very large print company for over 6 years. I work with million and billion dollar corporations on the daily, so I guess that's pretty cool when I think about it. Contrary to popular belief, print is in fact NOT dying and I don't think it ever will die, both a good and bad thing. I've been working in the industry for over a decade now, which is also mind blowing to think about for me.

· Still on my rock climbing (bouldering) hobby. Sent some indoor V8s, and now I'm psyched for more outdoor bouldering sessions this year and in the future. I'm the fittest I've ever felt in my lifetime and I'm over 30 years old.

· Went to see my favourite artist Dreamcatcher live twice now. Saw them last year in July 2022 in Minneapolis, and again in March 2023 in New York. Did a fan meet and greet and got the opportunity to take a photo with them as well. I love them so much.

· I guess worth mentioning as well, I'm part of the 7Dreamers team, which is the official global fan club for Dreamcatcher. I'm a Twitter admin and graphic designer for them, so the majority of graphics you see on their social media currently are created by me.

Probably missing some stuff, but overall I'm content with life right now.



ayyy glad to see other climbers pop up here

Ffr climbing meet up wen

[Wayward Vagabond]

Re: how's life been guys

inb4coolboyrulez0 (saw you lurking hust before I posted and had to bring back an old meme lol)

I wrote music for three short films all within a months time. One of them won best documentary at my university's film festival and will be one of five chosen to be shown in LA

Might have a Zoom meeting with one or even two Hollywood film music orchestrators in hopes that I can start making *real* money soon

Getting promoted at my job, can't complain since the pay is minimal but I get paid to just sit all day and assist students with basic computer stuff

Still unsure if I'm destined to stay in Miami or move to LA for work but I'm keeping options open

If you move to LA lets hang

[Dr3amW1zard]

Re: how's life been guys

cute cat! good luck with the studies

[Travis_Flesher]

Re: how's life been guys

I'm growing a big-ass garden, my first time doing it. Sowing my seeds now. Transplanting in late March/early April. Over 100 containers ready to be seeded.
Actually, the first time i've been passionate about a project since I was big into making StepMania charts a few years ago..

[_choof]

Re: how's life been guys

workin and twerkin
I accepted a position as a department director at teh company I work at, v cool

turns out this was a lie, the department was squashed and I was let go yesterday lol???

also the dude who posted a cat pic is a bot

[robertsona]

Re: how's life been guys

Start teaching this month in the second deadliest (last year deadliest) precinct in NYC

Let’s go

just finished semester 1

lots to say lots to say

very fun overall though

[lurker]

Re: how's life been guys

yoooooooo
starting a new job
sober for nearly 90 days
sketching furry stuff occasionally
letting gender questions sink in
i feel alright for once
it's great
love yall

UPDATE
i made it a full year, nerds
that job only lasted three months and i had a whole lotta nothing between then and now
i have a surveying gig atm and an interview tomorrow
most of the rest of that post is still true
my hair is still blue
pce

[TC_Chronichild420]

Re: how's life been guys

May as well give everyone my life update over the years :


Stopped doing hard drugs frequently, stopped drinking alcohol. Still enjoy weed way more then the average human.

I'll still party hard maybe once, or twice a year at most. Only on extreme special occaisions or festivals etc.


I had a suicide attempt, and left this site soon after. I really didn't want to burden anyone with that sort of stuff, and went on to play SM / Etterna afterwards by myself for quite a few years.

This was a lot due to lack of family and true friend support (Because I was an asshole, narcissistic, and didn't realize who true friends were at the time) , and the extreme amount of drugs I was taking as a teenager. I'm sure a lot of you who knew me back then can remember.

I went to school for pre-med, finished it but then got into palliative care and dementia care and really couldn't handle the emotions that come with that.

Afterwards, I decided to take some time off and try another health field related thing, recreational therapy. Didn't finish my degree with that, I got side tracked by my current passion / love project which, as I'm sure ALL OF YOU could have guessed, is growing weed.

While doing that, I went to Niagara College for greenhouse technician, and was kinda sniped by some local producers for growing weed. As many of you know, I used to be a go-go/shooter boy during this time too to support myself. I met a lot of great people, including the bouncer who smoked my strains and payed me quite well to grow it for him after for a long time.

I grew grey market in Canada for about 8 years, then stuff became legal and a lot less lucrative. We downscaled a heck of a lot after that, and went into breeding projects and general plant supply. At my largest, it was a 5000 sq ft warehouse filled to the brim with a little over 15,000 plants. I'd be super happy to share pictures of it with people I used to talk to and share my pride.

I have 2 strains registered under me on the seedfinder.eu data base, Cocogrape and The Grapist.

After that, I found myself growing for another local company for 4 years after they had sampled my strains / products, but they have recently gone under, and I ended up working with the owner of the old company (bouncer guy) on a Landscape / Maintennance company for a few years. He then screwed me over on some finances, and we recently broke off as I didn't want to be responsible for someone elses fuck ups when I'm trying to run a company and hire crews.

That leads me to now, where I'm currently part-time employed with GeekSquad, while also working towards getting my micro growery license to begin a small marijuana breeding, and general greenhouse supply company.

I really found I enjoy working with plants more then humans over my life, and that extends into a lot of aspects. I REALLY enjoy working with ornamentals, trees, and bonsai as well. Breeding is my true passion project though.

Been with my non-binary partner for about 8 years now, so you can see I've progressed a lot with my liberal senses as well compared to the uh, less then savory person I used to be lets just say. I think that will probably surprise a lot of you as well.

Sorry for the wall of text, I genuinely miss a lot of you, am GENUINELY regretful that I used to be such a retard, and appreciate you all for supporting me through my extremely turbulent, and tormentful teenage years.

I didn't have a lot of family I could lean on, or TRUE friends, but the ones I met here definitely meant and still do mean the world to me. I'm so sorry for being so flaky, and so wound up in my own life and drugs that I didn't get to meet / be more personable with a lot of you.

Hmu on discord @stiffnipplez to catch up sometime.

I hope you all have been healthy, happy, successful and miss you all dearly.

[Adriano264]

Re: how's life been guys

Lol what was happening with me when i writed that in 2023, i cant even see it without needing bleach for my eyes.

Life is being good and bad sometimes, mostly economic family problems and i need to choose a career since school is ending in 2 years. Nothing interesting

[br1mst0ne]

Re: how's life been guys

necrobump TWOOOOOO DX GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLDDDDDDDDDD

i'm almost halfway through a bachelor's degree in infotech, and have almost been playing VSRGs for 6 years now (including breaks where i didn't play xD)

anyways yeah i'm 20 now, in a polycule, and was.. idk, 14? when i started VSRGs
fuckin weird shit man, but yeah i'm still here and that's good