Transgender AMA

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

Re: Transgender AMA

how often are you misgendered?

actually even though i'm never mis-gendered anymore some of my old files still have my old name like the voting place so i get really defensive when they still have the old name i used to use

also every once in awhile i get mail from my old name and i feel threatened if that's the right word and i rip the letter in two and throw it away

What is your opinion on gender neutral bathrooms? What would be the most comfortable solution for public bathrooms for transpeople in your opinion?

they're really nice and people who are transgender don't have to worry about which bathroom to use and feel comfortable

i think every single place with a restroom should have a gender neutral bathroom in addition to the women's and men's bathroom

Back when I had long hair I would often be mistaken as female and it really got to me, and that was even without gender identity taking into play; I imagine it's much more aggravating and upsetting for you too, sorry that you have to deal with it

yeah it feels like my entire existence is being attacked

[QueenAshy]

Re: Transgender AMA

How long did it take you after HRT to start passing?

How old were you when you started?

Did you ever have those awkward moments when you met an old friend after you've transitioned?

Did your current group of friends take it well when you broke the news?

[Sanjixcon]

Re: Transgender AMA

Are there any specific laws or regulations regarding transgender individuals that you would like to see changed/added/removed?

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

Re: Transgender AMA

How long did it take you after HRT to start passing?

How old were you when you started?

Did you ever have those awkward moments when you met an old friend after you've transitioned?

Did your current group of friends take it well when you broke the news?

it took about a year i think and i was about 19-and-a-half, so it's been almost five years

yeah, i had seen a friend at the grocery store i used to spend time with all the time, and he worked there as a stock person i think, and i wasn't sure if he was the person i knew at first because he looked a lot older than the last time i saw him, so i was trying to find out whether he was my old friend or not, and he didn't know i was transgender and he recognized me, so he called me by the name i used to use so i told him assertively my name is Rebecca and before i could say hi he said something like "oh, nevermind; i have the wrong person" and walked away, and i never got a chance to talk with him again

yeah, my best friend supported me completely as soon as i told him in 12th grade and he didn't mind at all; however we went to different colleges so we haven't talked that much in about six years; the only friends i spend time with right now are all online and they all know i'm transgender

Are there any specific laws or regulations regarding transgender individuals that you would like to see changed/added/removed?

if President Trump's transgender military ban hasn't been lifted yet, i really want to see that law lifted

i really like the law President Obama passed that allows transgender individuals (and everyone else) to use any bathroom they want

i really detest that all people in the United States who were physically born male even if they're transgender and have their legal gender and name changed have to sign something when you're 18/an adult that forces you to enlist for the military if there's a military draft until you're 26, and if you don't sign it you have to pay a $500,000 fine and/or go to jail

i wouldn't mind if people who were physically born female were also forced to enlist, but only people who were physically born male are forced to enlist which is extremely inconsiderate

i want the law to be changed so that everyone who's 18 and over has to sign unless they don't agree with serving in the military or have some other special circumstance why they can't or don't want to serve in the military

also if someone who's transgender goes to jail they should be able to choose whether to stay with females, males, or in a separate cell IMO

[MinaciousGrace]

Re: Transgender AMA

i really detest that all people in the United States who were physically born male even if they're transgender and have their legal gender and name changed have to sign something when you're 18/an adult that forces you to enlist for the military if there's a military draft until you're 26, and if you don't sign it you have to pay a $500,000 fine and/or go to jail...

i agree all genders should be eligible for the draft

[tosh]

Re: Transgender AMA

well my mom did ask "why on earth would you want periods?"
so at least from her perspective it doesn't look like a wonderful thing :P

Periods (like all things) depends on the person. I'm personally very glad I'll never have a period.

also tosh you're transgender?

Yeah. Touch over 4 years HRT. Legal name change was almost 3 years ago. Also currently pre-op, but in my case it's that I'm still saving up + the surgeons I'm looking at have long wait lists. Starting to get my ducks in a row, though.

[andy-o24]

Re: Transgender AMA

What type of bathing suit do you currently use?

-o24

[mellonxcollie]

Re: Transgender AMA

Do you actually agree with the draft or do you just think everyone should be forced to sign up for equality sake? Would you ever consider serving in the military voluntarily? Would you feel that it would be safe for you to be around military type people in that setting?

[icontrolyourworld]

Re: Transgender AMA

Once you start the transition from male to female you don't want to just look like a girl, but to also be 100% or close to a girl as possible i assume. This not only includes passing for others but passing for yourself, being happy with the end result.

My questions are about any physical insecurities you may or may not have with either current or during transitional periods leading to being a female. Being born male and transitioning to female will definitely present these hurdles.

I'm coming late to the discussion, feel copy paste any answers you may have answered, since this might be kind of a lot. Sorry in advance for repeated questions!

How do you feel trying to change your pitch to sound more female? Is it possible to have a natural flowing female voice?
The male shape is more squareish, and female more curvy naturally; do you find yourself to have either more of a male or female shape now, did it take surgeries, and does it take convincing yourself that you look the way you want now, or are working towards the desired frame? (this also includes facial features, like a strong jaw bone, or browlines etc.)
Even with gender reassignment surgery, do you fear that your genitals may not look cosmetically pleasing, extended also to boobs?
Related to orgasms, I assume females have more nerves, or can experience more orgasms than men, is this the case for you? Has the transition heigtened, lowered, or remained the same to your susceptibility in this regard?
The decision to have gender reassignment done is probably tough even if you are positive you want to transition, have you decided to go through with it? If not, is it important to eventually have it done?
Has your ability to reproduce also transitioned to that of a female? If not does that bother you personally? If so, or if you know someone who is bothered that they can't, what are some opinions there?
Do you have periods?
Do you fear that after sinking in lots of time and effort, changing social status, changing your body, changing your mind, and changing your internal hormones among probably other things, that you might change your mind at some point, and want back what you had before?
Are there any other personal physical hurdles I haven't addressed that you can or would like to share?
Do you pass as female for yourself? Others is cool, but this is important.
And finally, are you happy?

[tosh]

Re: Transgender AMA

What type of bathing suit do you currently use?

-o24

I avoid swimming like the plague. Used to have a one piece, but lost it during my move. Will likely get a better fitting one piece at some point with a frilly skirt thing attached to it.

How do you feel trying to change your pitch to sound more female? Is it possible to have a natural flowing female voice?

idk about drizzle, but for me it's natural at this point and any attempt of me trying to imitate a male voice sounds fake. Only times I ever get misgendered with my voice is if I'm on the phone with a cold. Other than that, my daily work interactions lead me to believe it is possible to have a natural flowing female voice. However, I personally have issues in regards to singing and yelling.

The male shape is more squareish, and female more curvy naturally; do you find yourself to have either more of a male or female shape now, did it take surgeries, and does it take convincing yourself that you look the way you want now, or are working towards the desired frame? (this also includes facial features, like a strong jaw bone, or browlines etc.)

I have always been thin, so I wouldn't say I have a curvy shape. However, the hormone replacement therapy makes it so that additional fat is stored in traditionally female areas (such as hips, thighs, butt, cheeks, etc). I personally am thinking of having minor facial surgery in the future, but I haven't committed to it. If I do, it would be for my own self confidence and not because I have issues physically passing.

Even with gender reassignment surgery, do you fear that your genitals may not look cosmetically pleasing, extended also to boobs?

Even if reassignment surgery doesn't make my genitalia cosmetically pleasing, I would still consider it an improvement over what I currently have. As far as boobs go, I have resigned myself to be an eternal member of the itty bitty titty committee.

Related to orgasms, I assume females have more nerves, or can experience more orgasms than men, is this the case for you? Has the transition heigtened, lowered, or remained the same to your susceptibility in this regard?

I personally have stronger orgasms than before (and sometimes multiple), but my libido/sex drive plummets while on HRT. A part of me is considering asking my endocrinologist about the possibility of adding progesterone to my HRT regime to get some of that back, but I'm still a bit undecided.

The decision to have gender reassignment done is probably tough even if you are positive you want to transition, have you decided to go through with it? If not, is it important to eventually have it done?

I personally am 100% sure I'll have it in the future.

Has your ability to reproduce also transitioned to that of a female? If not does that bother you personally? If so, or if you know someone who is bothered that they can't, what are some opinions there?
Do you have periods?

Modern science is not yet at that point, but there is small progress being made in that regard. Still many, many years off though (if it's actually possible at all). By extension, I do not have periods. I am personally completely okay with this seeing as I have no intention of having children, but this can be a major source of dysphoria for some people.

Do you fear that after sinking in lots of time and effort, changing social status, changing your body, changing your mind, and changing your internal hormones among probably other things, that you might change your mind at some point, and want back what you had before?

I had these concerns at the start of my transition, but I'm far enough now that I really can't imagine de-transitioning. The thought of it is very foreign.

Are there any other personal physical hurdles I haven't addressed that you can or would like to share?

Sorry I didn't run hurdles in high school track. jk I wish I was like 6 inches shorter, but there isn't anything I can do about that.

Do you pass as female for yourself? Others is cool, but this is important.

For the most part, yes. There will always be features about myself I'm not 100% happy with, but that's true with everybody.

And finally, are you happy?

Overall, yes. I personally don't feel my transition is complete, but I am in a much better place than I was when I started.

[j-rodd123]

Re: Transgender AMA

thanks tosh and drg, very insightful answers. i have never met a trans person before so i'm glad you are doing this!

[icontrolyourworld]

Re: Transgender AMA

Ayyy tosh! Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions, they're pretty blunt, but you provided some very nice insight. It's actually very good to hear your certainties with this transition, and that you're overall happier! I may have some future questions, but these are some main ones that i have thought about from time to time. So thanks again for the honesty and feedback

[MrPoptart]

Re: Transgender AMA

Didn't see this thread till now, so sorry if something similar was asked already. My brother (sister?) came out (?) around new years 2017 and it's been an interesting/difficult/emotional experience for me. I can admit that I had/have some prejudice opinions because I don't personally fully understand it, but I'm trying to be as supportive as I can be.

I was wondering what were some of the difficulties you faced in the years following the start of your transition, and maybe some of the ways you wished others were supportive towards you? I don't see her very often anymore and sometimes I feel like she's depressed and I don't know what I can do. Did ether of you face a lot of depression and did it eventually get better? It's still difficult for me to remember to use female pronouns and use her new name since she's been my brother for 26+ years and we were pretty close. She says she's ok with me not using them but should I force myself to use them anyway (in your opinion)? Her birthday is coming up soon and I just want her to be happy... thanks.

[choof]

Re: Transgender AMA

what's your favorite tea

[Ghost_Medley]

Re: Transgender AMA

what's your favorite tea

Mine is either chamomile or ginger tea.
hi choof