My depersonalization over the last year

[devonin]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

In all seriousness, you should change your avatar and your profile background. Even that reminder of things is going to make it harder for you.

Hang in there buddy.

[DossarLX ODI]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

Good morning everyone and thank you for the advice and kind words. i am having violent withdrawals right now i just woke up and i really want to use. The fact i can go downstairs and drive to high tyde easily and get some is pissing me off to no end. I really want to hurt someone there and i am worrying i might do just that

Going to what devonin said, change your avatar and profile background and keep yourself occupied on something else. One of the worst things to do in this kind of situation is to not be focused on something else besides thoughts from the drug addiction. And, of course, good luck on dealing with the withdrawals.

Also, question about testing for jobs: Don't they do hair tests now? Urine tests were said to be easier to fool, but if the synthetic marijuana you mentioned has all these adverse effects wouldn't the hair testing catch it?

[devonin]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

I imagine that they can find chemicals, but if those chemicals aren't on the list of "Chemicals you aren't allowed to have in your body" they can't really do anything to you because of it.

[Mollocephalus]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

Hey smitty, your story touched me very much. I am usually really abrasive against people who do drugs, drink, or smoke (which all count as drugs by the way) but i very much respect your will to make a change and get back on your feet after coming so close to dig your own grave. Listen up, stick to the people who want you to get better, people who care about you and are there to support you trough this, and remove everyone else from your life. Ask for help, it will definitely be given to you by the right people. Fight the drug, go through widthrawal and then work on fixing the part of yourself which craves for drugs and put you in this situation in the first place.

Best of everything, i really mean it.

[Ohaider]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

damn mann,
don't give up

[XXXsmittyXXX]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

Thank you devonin that was a long time coming actually to change my stuff. Dossar about the testing for the substance, i believe i have heard that recently the military is developing a 'spice' drug test, as well as marines. I feel bad for marines on synthetic drugs as well because you're not allowed to do drugs at all, zero tolerance policy, left to face your addiction without telling a soul or you're no longer employed.
Thank you as well for your kind words mollocephalus. I did not even consider quitting this drug 6 months ago, so it definitely was my decision to finally fight this. Little update, breathing has been really shallow all day, with weird pressures in my head and in my ears. I can fill buckets with sweat from the palms of my hands alone, and i have showered 4 times because i'm just so uncomfortable right now.
Might go play sum wii with my gfs kid and try to stop thinking so much. I'm not going to the store.

[popsicle_3000]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

wow...
just wow...

congrats on the little one cooking, maybe it can be something you fixate on and drives you to succeed.
IDK what to say other than I'm rooting for you!

[Litodude]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

There's been a test for k2 since '10. my entire squadron in Biloxi had to take it. Only 5 people were caught, surprisingly


Also it sounds like u have the flu

[Spenner]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

Something to consider taking is a nootropic.

The reason I bring that up is because in times like this, it's helped me stay attached, less depersonalized. It's a neuroprotective supplement that improves memory/cognition and whatnot.

While on noopept (there's a bunch of different kinds of nootropics but all of them are pretty similar in that they are neuroprotective and can help memory impairment and keeping your brain stabilized) sometimes I did not even feel high, while trying to smoke on it. That tells me it might be something that could help normalize you and probably help getting you to feel more driven. Mental heirarchy is a big thing that can be a hurtful impairment, it's also helped me push away thoughts that should GO away when asked to (compulsions, emotional snowballing triggers, etc).

My 2c~ it's helped me quite a lot. It's on ebay if you feel the need to check it out. PM me if you want advice for this sort of thing.

[XXXsmittyXXX]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

There's been a test for k2 since '10. my entire squadron in Biloxi had to take it. Only 5 people were caught, surprisingly


Also it sounds like u have the flu

Well because the research chemicals are fluctuating so rapidly and being changed by the week now due to laws, average common drug tests can't really be produced if there isn't a constant to study. I'm sure they could produce a rapid one in the service though, sorry to hear about those 5 people. I don't have the flu, i actually wish i had the flu and no addiction at this moment. Spenner i will be seeing a specialist to get to the bottom of the ways i am feeling about my depersonalization.
As for not feeling high on it sometimes, yeah, that was me recently. I am very frightened that my life feels as though it's not my own anymore. Still clean for right now.... but i want to abuse

[Spenner]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

I don't want to be pessimistic but you will likely be put on either some sort of antipsychotic or SSRI/antidepressant. I hope it helps. Noopept worked to counteract the negative effects of the antidepressents I were once on, so again, give it a google search and see what you think. I only reiterate this because the brain needs to be in good shape for the big positive changes to happen.

Eat real healthy, this is a chance to really get to know yourself, and to be mindful of your compulsions. Single the feelings out, analyze them. Don't think alongside them, pull them over and question them. Be your own thought police, and see if you can redirect things overtime.

[Litholia]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

I don't really show my face around here much anymore and that's just because I'm a real busy guy irl now. But i felt like i had to read this, and had to post.

It shocked me how close our stories were, even down to how the headshops sell it, and tell you "its not for human consumption" clearly knowing that as soon as they get in the car, they're gonna light up a bowl.

I'd go as far as saying that this is less of an "incense" and more of a chemical that you smoke. I've witnessed a friend of mine get into a damn near fatal car accident high on this stuff. What really shocked me is that the brand names used in Smitty's town are the same ones being sold here. I havent smoked this stuff in a while, and am quite glad that smitty linked me this thread over skype because this was something i definitely needed to read.

Ive witnessed the shop owners own son sell it under the table to customers, and the kid cannot be 1 day over 14. Its actually sick now that i think about it.


As far as rehabilitation goes Smitty, its gonna be tough, as it is with all drugs, right? Just know that here is your home, you have great friends here, and you are someone that has always been respected by the many. Not only because you're actually good at this game, but because you're a real person, with real problems people can relate to. You will overcome this dude, i'm sure.

[popsicle_3000]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

Noopept

don't waste your money

[emoluv666]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

I guess i should mention i'm kind of seeing a 31 year old woman, who is a commander in the army, that knows about my addiction, who is my nextdoor neighbor and has a 5 year old son. She treats me like gold and i also feel that she will be a strong point for me making it out alive. She is pregnant by me, we don't know what to do yet.

damn this is a pretty big deal better get better for the sake of your future baby

[XXXsmittyXXX]

Re: My depersonalization over the last year

I don't really show my face around here much anymore and that's just because I'm a real busy guy irl now. But i felt like i had to read this, and had to post.

It shocked me how close our stories were, even down to how the headshops sell it, and tell you "its not for human consumption" clearly knowing that as soon as they get in the car, they're gonna light up a bowl.

I'd go as far as saying that this is less of an "incense" and more of a chemical that you smoke. I've witnessed a friend of mine get into a damn near fatal car accident high on this stuff. What really shocked me is that the brand names used in Smitty's town are the same ones being sold here. I havent smoked this stuff in a while, and am quite glad that smitty linked me this thread over skype because this was something i definitely needed to read.

Ive witnessed the shop owners own son sell it under the table to customers, and the kid cannot be 1 day over 14. Its actually sick now that i think about it.


As far as rehabilitation goes Smitty, its gonna be tough, as it is with all drugs, right? Just know that here is your home, you have great friends here, and you are someone that has always been respected by the many. Not only because you're actually good at this game, but because you're a real person, with real problems people can relate to. You will overcome this dude, i'm sure.

Hey man thanks for posting it's been a while. The thought of "not for human consumption" is running through my head like a madman right now. I'm still so turned off to the idea of selling this product even though i just bought it for 9+ months. To think that my friend Sal was purchasing this product fresh out of prison as a startup and money laundering company also sickens me.
five years of incarceration is obviously not enough to stop some drug lords from selling this product. Two daughters and a loving wife, not even enough to stop you.

http://www.wvec.com/news/York-County-bust-part-of-bigger-drug-ring-court-documents-suggest-233029741.html