How to get over social anxiety?

[i heart candy]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

seriously drugs will make you so social

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

try to make yourself say hi to random people as you pass by them. It helps increase your tolerance to random people.

[j-rodd123]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

Just be positive and friendly to people. Get out there and do more things, initiate plans and be proactive. Easier said than done, but you will have much more fulfilling experiences building solid social friendships and consequently your self-esteem will get a nice boost too.

[Emanresu13]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

i was gonna quote some people, but there's too much good stuff.

this is oversimplified, but hey: there are three kinds of people
1) those who feel just like you, quite anxious. so busy worrying about themselves, they barely even notice you. don't be intimidated by these people. they are your equals, in the same situation as you.
2) those who are seemingly more comfortable, they hardly feel self-conscious. these are some of the people that do judge you negatively, that may laugh behind your back. don't be intimidated by these people. they are assholes and not worth your time.
3) those who are seemingly more comfortable, they hardly feel self-conscious. these are some of the people that judge you positively. they see you as an equal, a human being. they will respect you unless you give them a reason not to. don't be intimidated by these people. they already like you and will listen to you.

i used the word "seemingly", as many people appear to not be anxious when they really are.


what Aldentron said is a very good point, imo. i've mostly overcome the social anxiety i had when i was younger. accepting being alone has been more difficult.

[Reincarnate]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

jesus christ that sig is so totally not SFW

[awein999]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

I've had similar problems with this too. What helps me is thinking of a number between 1-100 out of how stressed I am and rationally thinking how stressed I should feel. It sometimes helps me work through initial feelings of irrational social stress.

[UserNameGoesHere]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

It works both ways. You also need to be tolerant of other people. Perhaps think about times you may have made other people feel the way you're feeling now and how you could have acted differently. Perhaps consider making friends with people you would not have originally considered. Keep in mind your likes/etc will likely not match 100% with anyone else, and that's okay. Don't just only try to make friends with the "cool" people or really outgoing ones or whatever.

[colt.45]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

I don't personally recommend taking any type of Anxiety medication because it just covers up your problems, not fix them. You can do it yourself!

I have had very severe anxiety since April of 2009 when I was 17. It appeared out of nowhere one morning when I woke up. Back then I really didn't understand what the feeling was. Later on, I was diagnosed with GAD, Panic disorder and Social Anxiety. I'm pretty sure these rooted from my past. When I was younger I was physically and mentally bullied for a time period of 8 school years. Girls would punch, kick and bruise me up every week. I would be called a fatass in front of the whole class. I literally had no friends until Sophmore year or when I was 16 because I changed who I was.... to be accepted. I'm very positive this was the trigger in my life. My anxiety was not normal. I sat everyday worrying about everything. I would shake myself to sleep due to panicking. I wouldn't leave the house. I had bad claustrophobia during this time period. Looking up at walls or even the sky I felt trapped.
As of now though, I only get anxiety when I leave my house or am in a huge crowd. I feel very uncomfortable around a larger group of people and I attend a lot of Smash Bros. Tournaments. But I force myself to stay in that position and eventually it will go away and at the end of the day I can say that I accomplished something.

My advice to you though is 1) don't think about it. The more you dwell on those thoughts the more the anxiety will worsen over time. 2) Don't avoid situations. Force yourself to do what makes you uncomfortable. The more you avoid the more challenging the next time will be for you. 3) Change lifestyle habits. Normal sleep schedule, good diet and exercise. 4) Don't give up! and live in the moment not the future. Think positive instead of negative. (Therapy/psychologist could help too). Don't fear the feeling of anxiety.

[Hakulyte]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

Don't worry, be happy~

[A2P]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

Thank you so much for your input, guys. Every one of these posts are helpful, and a lot of you have so much insight on this same situation I struggle with. It'll take some adjusting, but with time, I'm sure I can relieve this anxiety someday.

[massflavour]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

itt aspergers

[iironiic]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

I am sure many of us has experienced a moment in life when we fear about how we are perceived by others. I have certainly gone through a few stages where I question myself about what others think of me. Thinking about things like this makes one much more worried than one should be. I was actually being really anxious moments ago reflecting on how worried I am about possibly losing one of my closest friends, until I came across this thread.

As suggested by a handful of others in this thread, try not to worry so much about it. If you dwell on that thought, there would be no enjoyment in life. Try and enjoy your friendships and relationships as much as you can. If people don't appreciate who you are, then you saved yourself from a fallible friendship.

Being socially anxious is just like dwelling on the fact that we will die one day. Instead of grasping onto that mindset, try and enjoy life as much as you can!

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

itt

did someone say assburgers?

[Syhto]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

the best advice is probably to stay in the moment. If you start feeling your mind go thinking about possibilities of this and that, how you're being perceived, find something still to tune into and re-focus your intention. If your intention is to stay calm and collected, etc, then refocus that intention.

For example something I will do is have something I want to say in a social context, but people are talking and I don't want to be perceived as w/e. But if I refocus on staying calm and staying in my zone, it's much easier to say whatever I feel needs to be said or would generate the feeling I'm feeling, void of any nervousness. Even if you are nervous, that's ok. A lot of bad feelings can be avoided if you're honest with yourself and the people around you.

FOR EXAMPLE you may do something you think is really awkward or weird, or w/e, and someone gives you a crazy look, you could say or examine how you feel. Like if you feel disturbed, you might laugh to yourself and think, well that was disturbing. But that's all it has to be, it doesn't have to wear on your mind all day or make you think less of your ability to act.

Continuously going in circles over possibilities is the worst, rather than being there and offering your opinions or input, which in some cases could very well be needed and graciously received. The thing is, you never know until you put it out there.

Anxiety does play a big role in my day to day life and a whole lot more earlier in life, and I think most people struggle with it in some way or another. If it isn't social anxiety its some other form of anxiety. So when you're nervous about what someone is thinking about you, flip that, they could just as easily be nervous and worried about how they are being received, regardless of how confident they appear. Everyone has issues. Plus, if someone is thinking those sorts of things about you and being judgmental, that rly isn't your problem. I know I don't go around thinking ill of everyone I talk to, some people may, but it isn't your fault if they think badly of you unless you're acting against your better judgement.

All in all... don't take it so seriously. It's up to you how to act, don't feel trapped by limitations you're putting on yourself because of your perceptions of others perceiving you. It's a vicious cycle. it helps to just be yourself and have fun doing it whenever possible

[Cavernio]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

I can be pretty bad for participating in conversations. I often just have nothing to say. I haven't gotten anxious about it lately though, more like 'Well this sucks, and it's boring because I'm being boring', but I'm not really anxious about it. Not that all conversations are hard to keep going, not at all, but rather if it's reached the point where I'm experiencing an awkward silence, I'm not going to be able to break it.